http://www.indiancricketfans.com Front-Page Articles by ICF members en Wed, 08 Sep 2010 07:13:35 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.indiancricketfans.com/enlighten/misc/rss.jpg http://www.indiancricketfans.com http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=237695&goto=newpost Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:28:21 GMT 1) The "He's so talented to stay banned" ban

In this kind of life-ban the player is banned between a series end and the next series beginning. Before the next series, realisation sets in that they dont have a player to replace the banned player, the fans clamour for a comeback, the authorities decide that the banned player has learnt his lesson and the player is pardoned and selected for the next series

A typical Pak fan comment - "He might have murdered someone but it was for his country and anyways I dont care how many he murders as long as he still plays in the next match"

Typical example : - Sohaib Akhtar


2) The "He is just stupid" ban

In this kind of life-ban, the player is banned because of extreme unsporty behaviour/cheating, but is pardoned based on the fact that the player has an IQ below 50. Kind of like when criminals plead insanity as a defense

A typical Pak fan comment - "He doesnt realise that he was cheating while dancing on the pitch or biting the ball because he is such a beast

Typical example :- Shahid Afridi


3) The "He was led astray" ban

In this kind of life-ban, the presence of another player having had more than 2 life-bans automatically helps the newbie to be pardoned based on association. Everyhting is blamed on the more experienced culprit and the other guy is the innocent lamb led astray by the wolf. the newbie is also thought to be completely incapable of independent thoughts, a prime criteria to be 'talented'

Typical Pak fan comment - Ban that senior guy. Why was he in the same state when the newbie commited the offense? He might have retired but he still is such a bad influence on the youngsters

Typical example - Asif (his first time) and possiby Amir


4) The "PCB is your father" ban

This kind of life-ban is enforced by PCB to show a player, who has been getting too big for his boots, his rightful place. The ban can be immediately re-considered if the said player begs forgiveness (despite doing no wrong) and bows to PCB dictates.

A typical Pak fan comment - Why cant X beg forgiveness for all his sins even though he has never commited them. Its for the country's sake

Typical example - YK and MoYo


5) The "Save his ass from ICC" ban


This kind of life-ban is used to protect star players from being banned by ICC. The ban is enforced only to be removed before the next series after a "democratic" tribunal hears the appeal

A typical Pak fan comment - But he has already been punished by PCB once. How can ICC punish him twice for the same crime

Typical example - Asif


6) The "Its all a conspiracy" ban

In this life-ban, the player is banned because of loads of evidence against him but then it is alleged to be a conspiracy by BCCI/RAW/Mossad and following a national outcry, the player is unbanned

Typical Pak fan comment - I am sure BCCI added nandro while he was peeing into a test tube

Typical example - Asif ]]> Cricket Articles My two cents http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=237695 http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=236791&goto=newpost Wed, 25 Aug 2010 22:25:01 GMT Image: http://www.newstrackindia.com/images/photo/91542bcci_logo.jpg *From our correspondent* The BCCI babus were in a somber mood before the...

From our correspondent
The BCCI babus were in a somber mood before the meeting. Our correspondent was extremely surprised that a one off loss against New Zealand would be such a cause of concern when the same guys had shown the mettle they had been made of by glossing over and partying after the world cup and T20 Wc losses. That was before he realised that the meeting was called for more serious issues. Here's the transcript of how the meeting went

The BCCI is considered a self involved, greedy organisation but in my opinion they are much maligned. One look at how the babus were clothed would have shown how much money these multi-millionaires save by buying those tacky suits. If that is not social service, then what is? The proceedings were about to start. The crowd was alert and cheery. There were few cat-calls in the audience as one of the cleaning lady made a hasty retreat. Then he was there! The president himself. The new President is a charismatic guy and prides himself on having more hair that the last one. He choses not to brag about it though. He once made a mistake of talking about hair in front of Sehwag who *ahem*, used the opportunity for some 'net practise'.

The President was about to begin when some ugly scenes broke out. Some of the IPL franchise owners had sneaked in after bribing the gaurds and staged a loud protest. This was a God given opportunity for a reporter with dreams of advancement so I jumped into the thick of action. (Note to self, look before you leap. that black-eye and sprained arm could have been much worse). Turned out that the owners were protesting about their team players being burned out in international ODIs and Tests and wanted those who recklessly participated in them banned without notice. (They also seemed to have mentioned about burning their vehicles and a public whipping of those involved but I may have been mistaken). According to them, everyone should follow the "Sachin Model" of cricket. Champions trophy was around the corner and who would be responsible if one of their star attractions was injured?

People question why ex-players aren't involved in BCCI. All I would say is that no ex-player could have done what the BCCI guys did on the day. After a few well meaning slaps, a couple of hastily negotiated concessions in next year biddings, a few oppurtunist groping of movie actresses, and finally threats to cancel contracts and take the IPL to Timbuktu, the matter cooled down. Refreshments and band-aids were served to the crowd. The President took his rightful place on the podium and began

" We are here to discuss serious issues. This could be the make or break of the BCCI", he paused for effect. Everyone was all ears. "As everyone knows, recently the parliament approved a 300% hike on the salary of MPs and there are more to come. and look at us. We still carry only 8 figure paychecks home. Is this what you call democracy? Is this why we have given our blood and sweat to the people?"

The overweight babus sat right on the edge of their chairs. Some were trying to think of a time when they had indeed done something even remotedly resembling what the President said. Others were ready to pounce on the slightest thing which did not go accroding to their demands. Regardless, it was an impressive speech.

"Considering that we are 100% more important than those MPs, i propose a 100% more hike than them. After careful consideration and weighing of our souls, we propose a 600% hike". Immediately all hell broke lose. There were shoutings and slogans. And slogans and shoutings. And some more. the President raised his hand and silence fell. "One at a time please". A BCCI veteran stood up. "Is this a joke? Are we monkey in a zoo that you are throwing peanuts at us? A 600% hike? I would rather resign and drive a tempo for a living".

"Hear, hear!" Cheered the crowd. "The Feroze Shah Kotla ground was relaid twice in the last 5 years", he continued. " We have brought an imported bowling machine 5 years ago. But when it comes to us getting paid our dues, we get a mere 600% hike? i thought slavery was abolished. What is this, a ghetto? People will hear about it!". He started dialing the number of his Times of india contact but was hastily stopped by others.

The President looked sheepish. His voice had lost some of its edge. " You know we are holding the world cup next year. We need some amounts of funds for that. Lets see. We can cut some money on URDS, on hot spot, on action replays(we can have more Advertisements instead) and on stand covers. That allows us to have a a raise of 700% each.Is that right?". He turned towards Kalmadi who was standing beside him who nodded. Kalmadi had been the chief advisor for BCCI lately after his success with the organisation of the Common Wealth games

"Still not enough", said the elderly member. " Is this why I have not retired yet? To see this day? To be humiliated thus? Am i a beggar to be content with a 700% hike?". The haggling continued in similar vein till the hike was finalised at 900% for all BCCI members. It was decided that to cover the costs no drinks would be served during WC matches for the players. One of the new members suggested that the two drinks breaks be converted into 5 breaks of 5 mins each which can be sold to a sponsor. Thus the "Zandu Balm, Peeda harak break" was born. The President was so impressed that he bestowed the ultimate compliment. "For the first time, I dont miss Modi!"

Finally we came to the bidding part. There were complains about the Sri Lankan team and board from the senior cricket players. "Whats the point of spending money and buying their board when their captain still whines so?" Said a senior, bald un-named player. "Lets sell them off to Pakistan. Even they can afford to buy the SL team." He was finally placated by the SL board President who promised that the player in question would be banned. "But we cannot gag Sanga", he said pleadingly. "We once tried and the doctors said it greately affected his health because of the lack of whining in front of the media. He has been prescribed at least 3 whines per week, 2 after and one before every match with net practise. For humanitarian reasons, we cannot stop him. However BCCI can use this to their advantage"

Here are how the rest of the bids went. I will highlight some of the new categories

Hateful Opposition captain - AKA Dushman number one.

Advantages of such a postion
1) Public enemy number 1. Always in news in Indian media
2) Get a 10% cut on every effigy burnt, posters torn and deriding articles written about them

Winner - Sangakara $ 2 million. Ponting finally lost this one after 3 years but promised to do better next time or retire gracefully from cricket


The BCCI are very environment concious and want to give something back. Hence we have the Nat-Geo endagered animal activist position.

Advantages of such a postion
1) Will be able to commentate during India Sri Lanka matches. What better chances than these snooze fests to distract the viewers from the broing cricket!
2) Can talk about animals, birds, snakes, worms and commentators to their heart content!

The BCCI will ensure a steady supply of wild/domestic life in these matches for the camera to pan onto

Winner - Arun Lal $ 1000 (He was the only candidate)


Captain's buddy-boy cum masseuse.

Advantages of such a postion
1) The most important person in the team and hence cannot be dropped
2) Will be villanised by the media as his skills will be primarily non-cricketing ones. But we in BCCI believe - No publicity is bad publicity!

Should be available at the beck and call of the captain

Winner - Jadeja $ 2 million

Thats it from this previlaged correspondent. Have to sneak out from the backdoor before Times and Aaj gets hold of me and steals my exclusive

This is a continuation of these threads
http://www.indiancricketfans.com/sho...light=The+BCCI
http://www.indiancricketfans.com/sho...light=The+BCCI ]]> Cricket Articles My two cents http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=236791 http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=235100&goto=newpost Fri, 13 Aug 2010 07:43:23 GMT

[This article was written in praise of VVS Laxman after that special innings in the Sydney Test in the just concluded India-Australia Test Series - Feb, 2008]

Vangipurappu Venkata Sai Laxman is a quiet man. He is an engineering graduate. He appears to have been as good a student then with his books as he is now of the game. But what we never knew about him was that he likes the colour green. Added to that he loves marsupials. Yes, he positively adores them. Ask him which marsupial he likes the most. The answer is likely to come pat but shy faced as is his wont - Kangaroos.

Some people reserve their best for the occasion. But there are a few people, a select band who reserve their best against the best. VVS Laxman belongs to the second category. And in focussing on the second objective, he often satisfies the first one too. For how big can an occasion get than when India play against the best team in the world - Australia. Bring on the Aussie Kangaroos in their baggy greens and you can rest assured that you will see the best of VVS Laxman. And the best of VVS Laxman is very near to the best that Test cricket batting can offer to the connoisseur of the game.

A measure of his batting today in the first innings of the 2nd Test against Australia at the SCG is that we greatly regret that his innings has ended. And we feel that India will struggle tomorrow and that the best is past. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is despite the fact that the people manning the crease come tomorrow are 2 of the greatest cricketing sons that India has ever produced, of which one certainly is the greatest batsman of his generation. Tendulkar and Ganguly are still at the crease. Still one feels that Australia has gotten the upper hand today with the dismissal of Laxman. Such is the measure of his batting wizardry.

Earlier, India had let slip the opportunity to control the game against the Australians - again. They had them on the mat at 134 for 6 but were allowed to not just wriggle away but loom over the Indians with an imposing total of 463 runs. Symonds, he the quaffer of the quadruple strength luck potion, was still standing at 162. Any other team, well to be specific, any other Indian team would have buckled under this enormous weight of first innings runs. But the team having VVS does not fear such petty things. After all, here we have the architect of one of the most ferocious double centuries the game would ever get to see. But only the people watching the game would have known that Laxman is about as ferocious as a newborn lamb. Laxman is a finely cut, beautifully chiselled batting prism. This prism is an upgraded model over the one known as Mohammad Azharuddin. While that older model had a tendency to reflect powerfully only on the onside, this particular one reflects stunningly all around. Come a game against Australia and this prism brightens up and also seems to improve its powers. For how does one explain the fact that this run-tight Australian attack comprising two searing fast bowlers in Lee and Johnson, one quality swing and seam bowler in Clark and a confident, spirited and talented spinner in Hogg were never able to get a handle on this prism. Whatever they threw at him was beamed right back. Sometimes it came back straight to them. Other times they would be chasing the beam (the ball) all around the ground. And sometimes the ball was reflected with many times the speed with which it was delivered by them. It did not matter which stump or which line they attacked. The result seemed somehow preordained, even inevitable - runs, bushels of them. He scored his half century off only 43 deliveries and went onto score his 100 in 127 eventful balls with the aid of 17 lovingly crafted boundaries. Watching this master class live one felt that the bat and the ball were somehow conniving to produce this show. It was as if when the ball kissed the bat, the latter whispered about the beauty and solitude to be found beyond the boundary and the ball, on hearing this, sped on single mindedly to find what it was all about at the boundary. The ball was definitely gullible because it made that trip 17 times today.

Laxman's demeanour and backlift, even the backswing is unfailingly benign. But at the point that the willow makes contact with the cherry, he gives his wrist a wicked twist - imparting direction and power to the ball. Sometimes the ball speeds off with so much velocity that one almost thinks that it is afraid to linger on his bat. His shots also seem to gain speed over the turf - leaving chasing fielders huffing and puffing right upto the boundary. It is almost as if he imparts some form of topspin to the ball to get that subtle quickening up across the turf. Replays of his innings must always have a disclaimer down at the bottom advicing budding batsmen not to attempt that flick of the wrist and that if they insist on trying it, the broadcaster does not take any responsibility for the results. His suppleness of wrists is indeed unmatched even in a nation which prides itself on producing exceptionally wristy batsmen. Laxman is a throwback to the old school of batting. Timing and placement, for him, take precedence over smothering, belting and otherwise brutalizing the ball.

Dravid played a very important part along with Laxman in not just defying the Australians but giving them a dose of their own medicine. The Wall was defensive for the most part and almost completely left the stage show to Laxman. He only concentrated on doing the dirty work, like setting the stage up and propping it on support pillars - grunt work, in short. The work that he enjoys the most and is unfailingly good at. The Australians cannot be faulted for not trying. Ponting, with his impressive captaincy continuing on from the MCG tried everything in the book and some outside it too. The same applies for the bowlers. They had it all - speed, accuracy, movement and bounce. But they had committed one cardinal sin. They played for Australia. That was enough for Laxman to disregard all angles of geometry and stroke a few away-going, short of length deliveries to the mid wicket and long on boundaries. There were other good length deliveries which were charmed into getting introduced to the boundaries behind the bowler. The problem with the bowlers could also be that they could not get angry at somebody who never hits them. He only guides, charms, cajoles and caresses his strokes. Lest this makes him sound like some kind a conman, let me assure you. He is the genuine article - an all-class batsman. Against Australia he also becomes the supreme batsman.

It is also interesting and enriching to observe that this quality innings came after the debacle at Melbourne where his team was defeated by 337 runs. Laxman himself got off to starts in his customary fluent manner. 26 and 42 before he gave it away there. A lot was said and written about the supposedly waning quartet that India is toting as its middle order. It was said that this is their last tour to India. And that they were all past their prime. Mysteriously some people included Kumble in their quartet and some others included Laxman. The other three - Sachin Tendulkar, Saurav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid - were constants. Well, Kumble showed his worth in the last Test - picking up a fiver on the first day of the first Test match at Melbourne and Laxman illuminated the already bright day today with some stroke making of the highest order. While the first effort by Kumble was in a losing cause, one hopes that this gem does not go by the wayside too. This was too good to be relegated to cricket's footnotes - reserved for innings made in losing causes.

India were put on the backfoot early on by Brett Lee who seems to have understood that it is far better to bowl with control and thought than to run in and unthinkingly hurl the ball at the batsman at maximum velocity. And this approach has won him much success in recent times - so much so that he is now the leader of the much vaunted Australian pace attack. His fast and furious outswinger put paid to Jaffer's weak defensive stroke which was played with no foot movement or weight transfer whatsoever. In walked Laxman when India were 1 down for 8 runs - perilous position. But Laxman played like only he knows how to and when he finally departed to a rare lapse in concentration, India were 3 down for 185 runs. It appeared to be no coincidence that his lapse in concentration came just after the departure of the indefatigable although slightly rusty Dravid. But to be fair to Dravid, the rust seemed to be slowly falling off as he unfurled shot after shot out of his long memory. But there was no mistaking whose show it was - it was VVS Laxman, the batting prism's show. Laxman today brought India back from the doldrums and has provided it with a real chance to make a match of it.

India may not be able to guarantee a consistent position for him in the Test squad. He may not be able to make it to India's ODI squad. And he is not even thought to be good enough to make a squad of 40 players when the probables for the domestic Challengers Trophy are selected. And he may well be the first man marked out when talk of dropping somebody comes up. But he will continue to remain a terror to the Australian bowlers albeit one they will remember with a smile when their playing days are over. And he will continue to hold a special position in the hearts of cricket lovers all over the world - even Australia. Maybe because they too share his likes - the colour green and the Kangaroos. ]]> Cricket Articles thevortex http://www.indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=235100