Jump to content

flamy


flamy

Recommended Posts

I wanted to share my journey with you guys, since you have been a big part of my journey. I am deep into self-work (self-development, Jungian psychology etc.) and I work with many modalities. I, recently started sharing some of my gleanings from my years of inner work. Anyways, today I shared about my name - flamy - and thought that I'd share it here too.

 

=========================================================================

Names carry Magic, because they are a way of aligning to a transformed identity, or anchoring what we know ourselves to be. This is why in some spiritual practices, a new name is taken on after achieving a certain proficiency in practice, or even as initiation.

 

My spiritual practice has always been loving myself. So, when I take on a name, it is because I like it.

 

My name started out as flameboy, and then flame-heart, and I finally settled on flamy. This was for an online forum (not ICF), circa 2000. I settled upon 'flamy' purely because I liked it, no deeper meanings. I thought it was just to represent my flamboyance. Over the last few years, even after I became inactive on the online forums, I kept the name.

 

Alchemy. The ancient practice of transforming lead to gold. But, why be satisfied with simple physical gold, when we can go after a deeper gold? Our Soul's Gold.

 

Of course, this was what the ancient alchemists referred to when they spoke of this mysterious art, this secret science. BTW, the secret is self-love, kthxbye.

 

I have been delving deep in a focused way since the last 10 years, and I'll admit there is nothing else I'd rather be doing. It is by gleaning myself that I glean the world, it is by loving myself that I love the world.

 

I realized that what I have been practicing without giving it a name has been Alchemy, and that is why my name is flamy, because I burn everything that is not loving in the flames of my love for myself. Gleaning is Alchemy.

 

Over the last week, however, I have been feeling sparks on my skin, as I have been diving especially deep and gleaning deep. This was thrillingly acknowledged by a lady in the elevator yesterday when she said: "You smell like good fire."

 

I am ever in wonder of Love and Trust, and myself.

 

My name is flamy, and I smell like good fire.

 

Gleaner I Am

 

#infinitegleanings

 

 

 

==========================================================================

Edited by flamy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to add something meaningful to this thread so I am going to say......er......nevermimd.......I mean what I was about to say was......ah I mean.....basically it is...  ah I mean er...  um you know the thing is.....ah I mean lost my chain of thought....er I mean pretty much....er I mean it is.....what I was going to say is......forget it

 

Fk it

Edited by maniac
Link to comment
Share on other sites

He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

Edited by Vilander
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Vilander said:

He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

OK, since you asked.

 

Self-love is just being our own best friend. It is easy to do this when times are good, so it is really put to the test when times are tough.

 

Recently, there was some business reorganization at work. This was cause for some brutal anxiety for me. My right eye was twitching and I was just freaking out about everything, was very stressful.

 

My inner dialogue was: "OMG, you are so weak. What do you have to show for all those years of self-work? Yo're useless!"

 

As you can tell, this only caused more stress for me, and it took me deeper into fear, anxiety, and questioning my self-worth.

 

The inner critic can get quite tyrannical, as we all know. I further went on:

"Wow, so much self-denigration, and anger. What happened to all the self-love you keep harping on about? Such a hypocrite!"

 

Now, this inner voice of mine was just afraid, and was trying to hold things together in the best way it can. But, by trying to discipline myself out of it things were only getting worse, I was making more mistakes at work, and was just looping generally.

 

All through out, there was a small part of me, that was calm and loving. It used to say I still love you, and I used to retaliate: "Love's not gonna make money!", and it would still be insistent.

 

Finally, I let that voice get bigger, and started showing compassion to myself, as I would to a friend when all they need is not any solutions but just support, and to know that they are held and loved. So, I allowed myself to be held and loved by myself. This allowed my mind to calm down, and for me to find some relief. I could feel the soothing energy of my own love for myself caressing me and holding me.

 

Things at work smoothed out, but more importantly I deepened my friendship with myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Vilander said:

He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

@Vilander might I also ask what is your perspective of a 'grown man'? just curious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@flamy

Interesting line of thought.

 

How do you differentiate between self love and self indulgence/ self pity?

Doesn't self love begin wih one getting immersed in one's own problems and forgetting that others too may have similar issues. I've observed people tend to separate themselves from others and exaggerate the extent of their own sufferings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, Mariyam said:

@flamy

Interesting line of thought.

 

How do you differentiate between self love and self indulgence/ self pity?

Doesn't self love begin wih one getting immersed in one's own problems and forgetting that others too may have similar issues. I've observed people tend to separate themselves from others and exaggerate the extent of their own sufferings.

It can be a fine line in the beginning, yes. But, one can easily discriminate by examining if one is feeling empowered or petulant. Self-pity or self-indulgence can take on a petulant streak, like an acting-out, and ultimately it feels hollow and not satisfying. Whereas self-love stems from understanding that love towards oneself is as valid and necessary as love towards one's friends, parents, pets, partners etc.

 

I've found myself grow more compassionate towards others by deepening the compassion I have for myself. Because, whenever I have judged others of being complaining, it was because it was triggering the complaining nature in myself and I didn't want to acknowledge that. Once I started doing that with myself with compassion, I could extend the same compassion to others without judgment because that charge of shame was burnt up by the compassion I had given myself. 

 

I have another gleaning that kind of lays out how love for oneself extends into love for the world, that I can share if you are interested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, flamy said:

@Vilander might I also ask what is your perspective of a 'grown man'? just curious.

stop now its getting weird. Glad that it is working out for you man, but i am straight (also have very limited emotional depth) alright so unavailable. mariyam here on the other hand seems to know all about 'gleaning' may you both have lots of fun talking about your gleaning and self love etc.. take care man..easy on the gleaning.. :p:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Vilander said:

stop now its getting weird. Glad that it is working out for you man, but i am straight (also have very limited emotional depth) alright so unavailable. mariyam here on the other hand seems to know all about 'gleaning' may you both have lots of fun talking about your gleaning and self love etc.. take care man..easy on the gleaning.. :p:

At your own pace, in your own time, brother. Have fun out there.

 

Can't promise I'll go easy on the gleaning though, I'm just getting started :Giggity:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, flamy said:

OK, since you asked.

 

Self-love is just being our own best friend. It is easy to do this when times are good, so it is really put to the test when times are tough.

 

Recently, there was some business reorganization at work. This was cause for some brutal anxiety for me. My right eye was twitching and I was just freaking out about everything, was very stressful.

 

My inner dialogue was: "OMG, you are so weak. What do you have to show for all those years of self-work? Yo're useless!"

 

As you can tell, this only caused more stress for me, and it took me deeper into fear, anxiety, and questioning my self-worth.

 

The inner critic can get quite tyrannical, as we all know. I further went on:

"Wow, so much self-denigration, and anger. What happened to all the self-love you keep harping on about? Such a hypocrite!"

 

Now, this inner voice of mine was just afraid, and was trying to hold things together in the best way it can. But, by trying to discipline myself out of it things were only getting worse, I was making more mistakes at work, and was just looping generally.

 

All through out, there was a small part of me, that was calm and loving. It used to say I still love you, and I used to retaliate: "Love's not gonna make money!", and it would still be insistent.

 

Finally, I let that voice get bigger, and started showing compassion to myself, as I would to a friend when all they need is not any solutions but just support, and to know that they are held and loved. So, I allowed myself to be held and loved by myself. This allowed my mind to calm down, and for me to find some relief. I could feel the soothing energy of my own love for myself caressing me and holding me.

 

Things at work smoothed out, but more importantly I deepened my friendship with myself.

Self love is impossible when you receive no feedbacks or are neglected, you never get to know who you are then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, MechEng said:

Self love is impossible when you receive no feedbacks or are neglected, you never get to know who you are then.

I agree, it can really be a dark place when we feel there is no one in the world that loves us. In most cases though, that's generally not the case. 

 

In the past, when I was in such a place, I just began with self-acceptance. I accepted where I was.

 

"I accept I feel lonely and dejected right now. No one else cares, but I care. It is pathetic that no one else loves me. I still somehow accept myself. Ok, I don't accept most of myself, but I accept a little bit. 

Actually, I can't accept this. I can accept that I can't accept this."

 

As you can see, acceptance doesn't mean putting a positive spin on things, it is just acceptance.

 

Just taking the time to talk to myself in such a way provided me relief. The heart doesn't differentiate from where the love comes from.

 

And, by doing this I got to know myself, and the capacity I had to stay with myself during the difficult times. Thus can begin the journey of knowing oneself.

Edited by flamy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...