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flamy

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I wanted to share my journey with you guys, since you have been a big part of my journey. I am deep into self-work (self-development, Jungian psychology etc.) and I work with many modalities. I, recently started sharing some of my gleanings from my years of inner work. Anyways, today I shared about my name - flamy - and thought that I'd share it here too.

 

=========================================================================

Names carry Magic, because they are a way of aligning to a transformed identity, or anchoring what we know ourselves to be. This is why in some spiritual practices, a new name is taken on after achieving a certain proficiency in practice, or even as initiation.

 

My spiritual practice has always been loving myself. So, when I take on a name, it is because I like it.

 

My name started out as flameboy, and then flame-heart, and I finally settled on flamy. This was for an online forum (not ICF), circa 2000. I settled upon 'flamy' purely because I liked it, no deeper meanings. I thought it was just to represent my flamboyance. Over the last few years, even after I became inactive on the online forums, I kept the name.

 

Alchemy. The ancient practice of transforming lead to gold. But, why be satisfied with simple physical gold, when we can go after a deeper gold? Our Soul's Gold.

 

Of course, this was what the ancient alchemists referred to when they spoke of this mysterious art, this secret science. BTW, the secret is self-love, kthxbye.

 

I have been delving deep in a focused way since the last 10 years, and I'll admit there is nothing else I'd rather be doing. It is by gleaning myself that I glean the world, it is by loving myself that I love the world.

 

I realized that what I have been practicing without giving it a name has been Alchemy, and that is why my name is flamy, because I burn everything that is not loving in the flames of my love for myself. Gleaning is Alchemy.

 

Over the last week, however, I have been feeling sparks on my skin, as I have been diving especially deep and gleaning deep. This was thrillingly acknowledged by a lady in the elevator yesterday when she said: "You smell like good fire."

 

I am ever in wonder of Love and Trust, and myself.

 

My name is flamy, and I smell like good fire.

 

Gleaner I Am

 

#infinitegleanings

 

 

 

==========================================================================

Edited by flamy

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I want to add something meaningful to this thread so I am going to say......er......nevermimd.......I mean what I was about to say was......ah I mean.....basically it is...  ah I mean er...  um you know the thing is.....ah I mean lost my chain of thought....er I mean pretty much....er I mean it is.....what I was going to say is......forget it

 

Fk it

Edited by maniac

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He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

Edited by Vilander

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3 hours ago, Vilander said:

He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

OK, since you asked.

 

Self-love is just being our own best friend. It is easy to do this when times are good, so it is really put to the test when times are tough.

 

Recently, there was some business reorganization at work. This was cause for some brutal anxiety for me. My right eye was twitching and I was just freaking out about everything, was very stressful.

 

My inner dialogue was: "OMG, you are so weak. What do you have to show for all those years of self-work? Yo're useless!"

 

As you can tell, this only caused more stress for me, and it took me deeper into fear, anxiety, and questioning my self-worth.

 

The inner critic can get quite tyrannical, as we all know. I further went on:

"Wow, so much self-denigration, and anger. What happened to all the self-love you keep harping on about? Such a hypocrite!"

 

Now, this inner voice of mine was just afraid, and was trying to hold things together in the best way it can. But, by trying to discipline myself out of it things were only getting worse, I was making more mistakes at work, and was just looping generally.

 

All through out, there was a small part of me, that was calm and loving. It used to say I still love you, and I used to retaliate: "Love's not gonna make money!", and it would still be insistent.

 

Finally, I let that voice get bigger, and started showing compassion to myself, as I would to a friend when all they need is not any solutions but just support, and to know that they are held and loved. So, I allowed myself to be held and loved by myself. This allowed my mind to calm down, and for me to find some relief. I could feel the soothing energy of my own love for myself caressing me and holding me.

 

Things at work smoothed out, but more importantly I deepened my friendship with myself.

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3 hours ago, Vilander said:

He is dwelling deep in self love..and gleaning something out of it.. Ok..

 

Flamy explain more....wait..i am not sure if i want to hear ..wtf do you meam self love man...grown men dont talk about this ****...comeonnn

@Vilander might I also ask what is your perspective of a 'grown man'? just curious.

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@flamy

Interesting line of thought.

 

How do you differentiate between self love and self indulgence/ self pity?

Doesn't self love begin wih one getting immersed in one's own problems and forgetting that others too may have similar issues. I've observed people tend to separate themselves from others and exaggerate the extent of their own sufferings.

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33 minutes ago, Mariyam said:

@flamy

Interesting line of thought.

 

How do you differentiate between self love and self indulgence/ self pity?

Doesn't self love begin wih one getting immersed in one's own problems and forgetting that others too may have similar issues. I've observed people tend to separate themselves from others and exaggerate the extent of their own sufferings.

It can be a fine line in the beginning, yes. But, one can easily discriminate by examining if one is feeling empowered or petulant. Self-pity or self-indulgence can take on a petulant streak, like an acting-out, and ultimately it feels hollow and not satisfying. Whereas self-love stems from understanding that love towards oneself is as valid and necessary as love towards one's friends, parents, pets, partners etc.

 

I've found myself grow more compassionate towards others by deepening the compassion I have for myself. Because, whenever I have judged others of being complaining, it was because it was triggering the complaining nature in myself and I didn't want to acknowledge that. Once I started doing that with myself with compassion, I could extend the same compassion to others without judgment because that charge of shame was burnt up by the compassion I had given myself. 

 

I have another gleaning that kind of lays out how love for oneself extends into love for the world, that I can share if you are interested.

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2 hours ago, flamy said:

@Vilander might I also ask what is your perspective of a 'grown man'? just curious.

stop now its getting weird. Glad that it is working out for you man, but i am straight (also have very limited emotional depth) alright so unavailable. mariyam here on the other hand seems to know all about 'gleaning' may you both have lots of fun talking about your gleaning and self love etc.. take care man..easy on the gleaning.. :p:

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9 minutes ago, Vilander said:

stop now its getting weird. Glad that it is working out for you man, but i am straight (also have very limited emotional depth) alright so unavailable. mariyam here on the other hand seems to know all about 'gleaning' may you both have lots of fun talking about your gleaning and self love etc.. take care man..easy on the gleaning.. :p:

At your own pace, in your own time, brother. Have fun out there.

 

Can't promise I'll go easy on the gleaning though, I'm just getting started :Giggity:

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3 hours ago, flamy said:

OK, since you asked.

 

Self-love is just being our own best friend. It is easy to do this when times are good, so it is really put to the test when times are tough.

 

Recently, there was some business reorganization at work. This was cause for some brutal anxiety for me. My right eye was twitching and I was just freaking out about everything, was very stressful.

 

My inner dialogue was: "OMG, you are so weak. What do you have to show for all those years of self-work? Yo're useless!"

 

As you can tell, this only caused more stress for me, and it took me deeper into fear, anxiety, and questioning my self-worth.

 

The inner critic can get quite tyrannical, as we all know. I further went on:

"Wow, so much self-denigration, and anger. What happened to all the self-love you keep harping on about? Such a hypocrite!"

 

Now, this inner voice of mine was just afraid, and was trying to hold things together in the best way it can. But, by trying to discipline myself out of it things were only getting worse, I was making more mistakes at work, and was just looping generally.

 

All through out, there was a small part of me, that was calm and loving. It used to say I still love you, and I used to retaliate: "Love's not gonna make money!", and it would still be insistent.

 

Finally, I let that voice get bigger, and started showing compassion to myself, as I would to a friend when all they need is not any solutions but just support, and to know that they are held and loved. So, I allowed myself to be held and loved by myself. This allowed my mind to calm down, and for me to find some relief. I could feel the soothing energy of my own love for myself caressing me and holding me.

 

Things at work smoothed out, but more importantly I deepened my friendship with myself.

Self love is impossible when you receive no feedbacks or are neglected, you never get to know who you are then.

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11 hours ago, MechEng said:

Self love is impossible when you receive no feedbacks or are neglected, you never get to know who you are then.

I agree, it can really be a dark place when we feel there is no one in the world that loves us. In most cases though, that's generally not the case. 

 

In the past, when I was in such a place, I just began with self-acceptance. I accepted where I was.

 

"I accept I feel lonely and dejected right now. No one else cares, but I care. It is pathetic that no one else loves me. I still somehow accept myself. Ok, I don't accept most of myself, but I accept a little bit. 

Actually, I can't accept this. I can accept that I can't accept this."

 

As you can see, acceptance doesn't mean putting a positive spin on things, it is just acceptance.

 

Just taking the time to talk to myself in such a way provided me relief. The heart doesn't differentiate from where the love comes from.

 

And, by doing this I got to know myself, and the capacity I had to stay with myself during the difficult times. Thus can begin the journey of knowing oneself.

Edited by flamy

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All through out, there was a small part of me , that was calm and loving. It used to say I still love you, and I used to retaliate: "Love's not gonna make money!", and it would still be insistent.  

 

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brah, it later got bigger, did you read the whole thing? :woot:
OK, so it got bigger and you learned to hold it and love yourself.

Sent from my Redmi Note 4 using Tapatalk

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11 hours ago, Mariyam said:

@flamy

Interesting line of thought.

 

How do you differentiate between self love and self indulgence/ self pity?

Doesn't self love begin wih one getting immersed in one's own problems and forgetting that others too may have similar issues. I've observed people tend to separate themselves from others and exaggerate the extent of their own sufferings.

 

It depends on what you call self. Most of human race call self as one thing. In spiritual world self is something else. For me it is my Ruh which is self. And when one loves his own Ruh, as OP says we can be our own friend, our own guide. We dont fear about petty worldly things in that state. It is lot easier said that done.

 

Others call self to their mind, body, possessions, positions etc like I am So and So. These things are so shallow that our mind indulges in 'em. Rest we already know. In spiritual world, everything else is immaterial and we are just a ruh. Nothing else.

 

Hope this what Flams saying.

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2 minutes ago, dial_100 said:

 

It depends on what you call self. Most of human race call self as one thing. In spiritual world self is something else. For me it is my Ruh which is self. And when one loves his own Ruh, as OP says we can be our own friend, our own guide. We dont fear about petty worldly things in that state. It is lot easier said that done.

 

Others call self to their mind, body, possessions, positions etc like I am So and So. These things are so shallow that our mind indulges in 'em. Rest we already know. In spiritual world, everything else is immaterial and we are just a ruh. Nothing else.

 

Hope this what Flams saying.

Thanks for your perspective, dial! I hadn't heard of Ruh before, is it similar to Soul?

 

I consider the self to encompass the body, the mind, the personality, and the soul (for those who believe in it). But, really, my interest is more in keeping things practical than getting swept away by esoteric stuff. For me, magic is not real until I can feel it, touch it, and share it.

 

So, in that spirit (ha!), my main focus tends to be on how my relationships are, with myself, with my people, with my work, with my creativity etc.

 

I find that it is very easy to get into intellectual gymnastics with concepts when people get into them, which is why I like to keep it to just being loving. Love whatever is in your radar, be compassionate with it, and then the semantics of what the self is does not hold that much importance.

 

But, most people have a good sense of self, and that's why I refer to self-love.

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9 minutes ago, dial_100 said:

own Ruh

i have always found sufis to be saviors of the world, being from islam if they can manage to get all of islam mystic as them then the world is saved.

 

does Sufism believe in something similar to yogic transmission meaning any form of present divine energy from an infinite source ?

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Oh absolutely. I have read some stuff on Sufism. The islam should have only been Sufi Islam. But we all know the reality

 

Not just sufism but all the similar practices in the eastern culture talk about the same yogic transmission/divine energy. There are even many biblical references to it or Budhism is also similar. Entire Gita should only be read in that context only. Issue is all the scholars try to read it in a literal sense. Spirituality and scholars are poles apart. You can be one or the other. Too much importance is given to so called scholars in the modern world. 

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52 minutes ago, flamy said:

Thanks for your perspective, dial! I hadn't heard of Ruh before, is it similar to Soul?

 

I consider the self to encompass the body, the mind, the personality, and the soul (for those who believe in it). But, really, my interest is more in keeping things practical than getting swept away by esoteric stuff. For me, magic is not real until I can feel it, touch it, and share it.

 

So, in that spirit (ha!), my main focus tends to be on how my relationships are, with myself, with my people, with my work, with my creativity etc.

 

I find that it is very easy to get into intellectual gymnastics with concepts when people get into them, which is why I like to keep it to just being loving. Love whatever is in your radar, be compassionate with it, and then the semantics of what the self is does not hold that much importance.

 

But, most people have a good sense of self, and that's why I refer to self-love.

Oops. My bad. I misunderstood then.

 

What I am talking about is totally empirical. So yes it is kinda little mystical for those who are away from it but once you get into it, it is becomes more real than anything we have experienced so far. The difference in the two, i would say is, in one, you still feel life is like wave and in the other, you are unaffected by waves and you get to see waves but your remain steady. It is hard to explain.

 

Well, yes soul, spirit, atma, ruh are very similar terms. I gotcha. The journey starts with integration of body, mind and soul. But eventually the former two drop off and what remains is soul. 

 

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19 minutes ago, dial_100 said:

Oops. My bad. I misunderstood then.

 

What I am talking about is totally empirical. So yes it is kinda little mystical for those who are away from it but once you get into it, it is becomes more real than anything we have experienced so far. The difference in the two, i would say is, in one, you still feel life is like wave and in the other, you are unaffected by waves and you get to see waves but your remain steady. It is hard to explain.

 

Well, yes soul, spirit, atma, ruh are very similar terms. I gotcha. The journey starts with integration of body, mind and soul. But eventually the former two drop off and what remains is soul. 

 

 

I gather you are speaking of the 'observer' versus the 'experiencer' ?

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2 hours ago, dial_100 said:

Oops. My bad. I misunderstood then.

 

What I am talking about is totally empirical. So yes it is kinda little mystical for those who are away from it but once you get into it, it is becomes more real than anything we have experienced so far. The difference in the two, i would say is, in one, you still feel life is like wave and in the other, you are unaffected by waves and you get to see waves but your remain steady. It is hard to explain.

 

Well, yes soul, spirit, atma, ruh are very similar terms. I gotcha. The journey starts with integration of body, mind and soul. But eventually the former two drop off and what remains is soul. 

 

 

Soul as well as 'Ruh' is very much different from atma/atman. Dharmic theories of Atman is very much different from the 'Religious' view of 'Soul' in biblical sense. One should NOT equate the two. Here's the basic difference.

 

https://rajivmalhotra.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/SanskritNonTranslatables.pdf

 

ATMAN IS NOT SOUL

In dharmic tradition, the true nature of self or Atman is sat-chit-ananda. The true nature of Atman can be realised with sadhana or adhyatma vidya. Atman is present in plants and animals. Hence nature is as sacred as the self. Atman reincarnates. Hence the body is cremated once atman has departed.

 

In Christianity or even Islam, all humans are born as sinners due to original sin by adam&eve. Hence the true self or Soul is sinful. Only through Jesus/Allah can the Soul attain salvation. Soul is NOT PRESENT in plants and animal. In Bible, GOD gave mankind dominion over plants and animals. Soul DOES NOT reincarnate. Hence in Christianity/Islam you get only one body that must be preserved till the 'end of time' for resurgence, just in case the soul comes back. Hence, they don't cremate , but bury. 

 

Hence Christians say 'Rest in Peace' when somebody dies. When hindus die, 'Rest in Peace' message doesn't make sense. We should hence say 'Om Shanti' or say 'let the atma attain sadgati' and merge with paramatma!

 

Edited by coffee_rules

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Haven’t gone through all the posts in details so may hv missed something but I guess it is hard to understand your own self if you only love yourself as love is said to be blind 

 

Iirc, there is a story about Akbar asking Birbal to bring him the most good looking kid, and Birbal, considered to be a think tank, brought his own son (probably blinded by love)

 

Pharos were in self love mode too, which resulted in creating pyramids for themselves so they can probably continue to love themselves even after death :facepalm: 

 

BD cricketers are in self love mode too

 

Where is substance? How to acquire substance? 

Edited by zen

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5 hours ago, coffee_rules said:

 

Soul as well as 'Ruh' is very much different from atma/atman. Dharmic theories of Atman is very much different from the 'Religious' view of 'Soul' in biblical sense. One should NOT equate the two. Here's the basic difference.

 

https://rajivmalhotra.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/SanskritNonTranslatables.pdf

 

ATMAN IS NOT SOUL

In dharmic tradition, the true nature of self or Atman is sat-chit-ananda. The true nature of Atman can be realised with sadhana or adhyatma vidya. Atman is present in plants and animals. Hence nature is as sacred as the self. Atman reincarnates. Hence the body is cremated once atman has departed.

 

In Christianity or even Islam, all humans are born as sinners due to original sin by adam&eve. Hence the true self or Soul is sinful. Only through Jesus/Allah can the Soul attain salvation. Soul is NOT PRESENT in plants and animal. In Bible, GOD gave mankind dominion over plants and animals. Soul DOES NOT reincarnate. Hence in Christianity/Islam you get only one body that must be preserved till the 'end of time' for resurgence, just in case the soul comes back. Hence, they don't cremate , but bury. 

 

Hence Christians say 'Rest in Peace' when somebody dies. When hindus die, 'Rest in Peace' message doesn't make sense. We should hence say 'Om Shanti' or say 'let the atma attain sadgati' and merge with paramatma!

 

 

I am not religious. I dont agree with anything what was said by that person. But it is all ok.

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3 hours ago, dial_100 said:

 

I am not religious. I dont agree with anything what was said by that person. But it is all ok.

Atma is a dharmic word coming from sanskrit and it can't be used loosely with English words which originate from Christianity.  What is not to agree there? You need not be religious to know the origin of words and its true meaning. This is from an etymological point of view.

Edited by coffee_rules

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1 hour ago, coffee_rules said:

Atma is a dharmic word coming from sanskrit and it can't be used loosely with English words which originate from Christianity.  What is not to agree there? You need not be religious to know the origin of words and its true meaning. This is from an etymological point of view.

Again I am not big fan semantics. discussing it is somewhat petty for my liking. Besides I dont like to read, feel or smell about a Mithai (sweets) when I can eat it myself and understand. Same thing goes for the word Atma, Spirit or Pure Consciousness.

 

And what is this Dharmic word? The whole Bramhand is for each and everyone equally. Difference would only be at the semantics level. But deeper meaning is same. Just because the word is misunderstood by some in biblical references doesnt really mean we all did. 

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3 hours ago, dial_100 said:

Again I am not big fan semantics. discussing it is somewhat petty for my liking. Besides I dont like to read, feel or smell about a Mithai (sweets) when I can eat it myself and understand. Same thing goes for the word Atma, Spirit or Pure Consciousness.

 

And what is this Dharmic word? The whole Bramhand is for each and everyone equally. Difference would only be at the semantics level. But deeper meaning is same. Just because the word is misunderstood by some in biblical references doesnt really mean we all did. 

Study of language, words , etymology is not semantics. It is a science by itself.  If we make up our own meaning of words, we will form cults and echo chambers. 

Apologize for spoiling the sanctity of Flamy's thread, agree rhat the search of inner self, self exploration and  realization of one's magnified self worth is one's own journey, one has to take paying the fare on his own. 

Edited by coffee_rules

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5 hours ago, coffee_rules said:

Study of language, words , etymology is not semantics. It is a science by itself.  If we make up our own meaning of words, we will form cults and echo chambers. 

Apologize for spoiling the sanctity of Flamy's thread, agree rhat the search of inner self, self exploration and  realization of one's magnified self worth is one's own journey, one has to take paying the fare on his own. 

I know, even I am guilty of hijacking this thread. I will leave it there. Only thing is, for me the closest word for Atma in english would be Soul or Spirit or pure consciousness. I aint english expert or a native english speaker but I am not oblivious to the term Atma. And there is nothing wrong in forming any cult. As it is we know that the current religions are lacking lot of things. So it is okay to have a cult that believes in the core ideas of all the religions but not believe in 1 particular religion as a whole. That can be left with the owners of those religions.

 

May be we could discuss that on a separate thread and leave this one for Flamy. Flamy bro sorry to digress here.

 

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16 hours ago, zen said:

Haven’t gone through all the posts in details so may hv missed something but I guess it is hard to understand your own self if you only love yourself as love is said to be blind 

 

Iirc, there is a story about Akbar asking Birbal to bring him the most good looking kid, and Birbal, considered to be a think tank, brought his own son (probably blinded by love)

 

Pharos were in self love mode too, which resulted in creating pyramids for themselves so they can probably continue to love themselves even after death :facepalm: 

 

BD cricketers are in self love mode too

 

Where is substance? How to acquire substance? 

I'm seeing that people seem to have their own connotation of self-love, so lemme clarify where I'm coming from.

 

The way we love begins with how we love ourselves. And, the way we love others is an extension of how we love ourselves.

 

For example, I tend to be a perfectionist. So, if I decide that something I did was not up to the mark in something I did, I tend to get critical with myself and hold back love (getting less perfect day by day!)

 

I noticed that I tended to do this in my other relationships also, where if they would make a mistake, my first reaction was of censure instead of compassion. I would of course restrain myself from hurting them by saying anything, but it was still work to do that, and there were times I'd slip. Once, I started being compassionate with myself, the charge of shame/censure dissolved, and I could extend the same compassion to my loved ones easily.

 

Self-love does not mean being self-involved. Because, when I truly love myself, it means I truly allow my love to expand, not to constrict itself, otherwise what'd be the fun? Thus, my love for myself, naturally shows up in my love for the world.

 

And, love is not blind, fear is. It is not love to look over someone's shortcomings, that is actually fear. Because, love would look at the shortcomings and not be afraid to love them just so without having to change anything. The fear is one's own fear of not being ready to accept shortcomings in loved ones and hence glossing over them by pretending there is no shortcoming.

 

Love doesn't pretend, Love is Truth.

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