Stradlater Posted May 15, 2018 Author Share Posted May 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, beetle said: Small town girls don't stay sad and depressed for life. Her parents will force her to get married to a nice guy . Once married, she will love him and you will be a faint ex. She will have a few kids and live happily ever after. Good you did not mess with her. And I want that for her. She's a nice girl you know a bit sanskari types. It would be awesome if her family can get her arranged marriage to some other nice decent guy who isn't prone to mood swings like me and who can take care of her which I never couldn't. beetle and flamy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velu Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 25 minutes ago, Stradlater said: And I want that for her. She's a nice girl you know a bit sanskari types. It would be awesome if her family can get her arranged marriage to some other nice decent guy who isn't prone to mood swings like me and who can take care of her which I never couldn't. i think you have some problem and she is perfectly fine Switchblade, DHONI_FANN, Book_Worm and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradlater Posted May 15, 2018 Author Share Posted May 15, 2018 3 minutes ago, velu said: i think you have some problem and she is perfectly fine I never said it was her fault. She's a good kid albeit quite annoying and bit dull. Less said about me otoh, the better. flamy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MechEng Posted May 15, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted May 15, 2018 Play cricket with her, ask her to bat and you bowl 6 deliveries to her. After that say "it's over". flamy, Mariyam, sandeep and 10 others 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rahulrulezz Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 (edited) Tbf if she is a nice girl, don’t let her go if you are thinking of marriage in next couple of years. You might find a interesting girl but it’s very hard to find a nice girl. For a marriage to run, you need a nice girl not an interesting girl. Tbf I am very extrovert, sports oriented, eating out, travelling out, social person, full of spending time on my hobbies and practical person whereas my wife is super sanskari, emotional, family oriented person and not into partying, shopping, eating out, going out etc which sometimes annoys me. Only time we argue, it’s about me pushing her to be selfish and spend time with friends or going out for shopping rather than worrying about family all the time. but then I look at my married friends and see the kind of struggles they go through, our problems are nothing. I actually think I got very lucky that I found someone like her who cares more about me than herself and I appreciate her more and more every single day. Bottom line is - If you are looking to marry in next 2 years, stick with her. It’s very hard to find nice girls these days. Edited May 16, 2018 by rahulrulezz Stradlater, Turning_track, sensible-indian and 4 others 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 (edited) While a good sanskari girl will gel well with family but if you find her irritating and annoying , life will be tough. You have to come home to her everyday , lay in bed with her everyday, have kids with her features .Grow old with her. Besides, she deserves someone who loves her, not tolerates her. Edited May 15, 2018 by beetle Stradlater, sandeep, Mariyam and 1 other 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 (edited) @Stradlater If your girlfriend were to read this thread, she'd be so at you, that we'd have to rename it "Relationships and Mortality" Edited May 15, 2018 by Mariyam beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 be honest, be straight and be kind. These are the three things i'd say you should always have in mind, when having a difficult conversation with someone you care about and are about to hurt/disappoint. Don't play games, come up with bullshit, etc. Because when you do, you damage the other person far more - it damages their self esteem in terms of what they perceived the relationship to be and end up in the ' how could i have been so blind/so wrong/how did i miss this,i am so deluded/oblivious, omg i am such a loser/broken' cycle. The bitter truth, will be painful, but it will preserve her self esteem, her own impression of the relationship and over time, she will thank you for being honest with her. flamy, beetle, Mariyam and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dial_100 Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 If she is young in her early 20s, she will mature whole lot in her late 20s. If she has many siblings and many friends then i would suggest you to keep her and work on her annoying part. If you think it is over then dont try anything, just break. No matter how much you try it wont work out from your side. She will get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velu Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 10 minutes ago, dial_100 said: If she has many siblings and many friends then i would suggest you to keep her and work on her annoying part. whats the logic ? do you mean people with many siblings usually be mature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradlater Posted May 16, 2018 Author Share Posted May 16, 2018 (edited) On 5/15/2018 at 1:22 PM, rahulrulezz said: Tbf if she is a nice girl, don’t let her go if you are thinking of marriage in next couple of years. You might find a interesting girl but it’s very hard to find a nice girl. For a marriage to run, you need a nice girl not an interesting girl. Tbf I am very extrovert, sports oriented, eating out, travelling out, social person, full of spending time on my hobbies and practical person whereas my wife is super sanskari, emotional, family oriented person however she is not into partying, shopping, eating out, going out etc which sometimes annoys me. Only time we argue, it’s about me pushing her to be selfish and spend time with friends or going out for shopping rather than worrying about family all the time. but then I look at my married friends and see the kind of struggles they go through, our problems are nothing. I actually think I got very lucky that I found someone like her who cares more about me than herself and I appreciate her more and more every single day. Bottom line is - If you are looking to marry in next 2 years, stick with her. It’s very hard to find nice girls these days. Problem is I have no plants to marry for at least 3-4 years(make that 5 actually) and I don't want to give her a false glimmer of hope keeping her waiting for me. I have my whole career ahead of me and want to make most of it. Maybe I would regret my decision later on but the thing is relationship at this moment is the last thing I need. On 5/15/2018 at 2:46 PM, Mariyam said: @Stradlater If your girlfriend were to read this thread, she'd be so at you, that we'd have to rename it "Relationships and Mortality" She detests cricket (another reason why we don't get along) therefore the chances of her reading this forum are same as you renouncing bollywood and come to your senses. On 5/15/2018 at 3:12 PM, dial_100 said: If she is young in her early 20s, she will mature whole lot in her late 20s. If she has many siblings and many friends then i would suggest you to keep her and work on her annoying part. If you think it is over then dont try anything, just break. No matter how much you try it wont work out from your side. She will get over it. Thing is the risk is too huge. What if she doesn't mature(or rather I). Edited May 16, 2018 by rahulrulezz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 A girl who really loves you is worth all the trouble and headaches. Nobody is perfect you will have a few turn offs and repulsions once you start living with even the best. Besides if you want to be single then its your choice and you should tell her without wasting time. Don't feel bad about being a jerk as you know you are a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MechEng Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 Do you find her hot? If yes, then don't leave her. beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradlater Posted May 16, 2018 Author Share Posted May 16, 2018 12 minutes ago, MechEng said: Do you find her hot? If yes, then don't leave her. She's definitely beautiful.Hot I don't know. I guess she could qualify to be one. But as the saying goes Ghar ki murghi... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stradlater Posted May 16, 2018 Author Share Posted May 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Number said: A girl who really loves you is worth all the trouble and headaches. Nobody is perfect you will have a few turn offs and repulsions once you start living with even the best. Besides if you want to be single then its your choice and you should tell her without wasting time. Don't feel bad about being a jerk as you know you are a jerk. Everybody seems to be in that love phase during the course of a relationship. I have seen countless women mad in love with their boyfriends but as soon as they get engaged to someone else, the so called love goes down the drain as if the other guy never existed. In the meantime poor ex boyfriend drowns himself in alcohol listening to old Hindi dard bhare songs. flamy and beetle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MechEng Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 39 minutes ago, Stradlater said: Everybody seems to be in that love phase during the course of a relationship. I have seen countless women mad in love with their boyfriends but as soon as they get engaged to someone else, the so called love goes down the drain as if the other guy never existed. In the meantime poor ex boyfriend drowns himself in alcohol listening to old Hindi dard bhare songs. Bro tera abhi downtime hai, you don't need to leave her what you actually need is personal space. You must be feeling like to end the relationship, it's not the relationship which is at fault but you're probably overwhelmed, take rest for a while by reducing your frequency of communication and once recharged then switch back to default mode! flamy, riya, Stradlater and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 Take a break for a month and see if you crave for the annoying girl. If you find her hot and pretty, care for her....then give it your best shot for next six months and see. But if you feel like choking and running away at the thought of living with her forever....then run. riya, flamy, Alam_dar and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alam_dar Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 One untraditional option: You could let her read this thread. Commitment: I always feel sorry for the breaking of the relations. But let me make it clear: "Commitment" in case of the relations is not the same as in case of business. A commitment in business in compulsory, but the commitment in case of relations is not compulsory, even not "moral duty" to bound to it if the feelings of one partner changes. Marriage is itself a commitment. But if one partner feels uncomfortable or feels no love any more, then one has full right to annul the marriage. Therefore, if you feel yourself better without her, then no shame in telling her. I just hope you don't regret it later. Stradlater 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alam_dar Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 (edited) 7 hours ago, Stradlater said: Everybody seems to be in that love phase during the course of a relationship. I have seen countless women mad in love with their boyfriends but as soon as they get engaged to someone else, the so called love goes down the drain as if the other guy never existed. In the meantime poor ex boyfriend drowns himself in alcohol listening to old Hindi dard bhare songs. What is the exact reason of leaving her? (1) Is it your future plan, which you could not achieve in any way after marrying her? (2) Or are these your "FEARS" that after marriage there will no more intense love relationship, and you fear drinking and listing to dard bhare songs? And your future plans are only an excuse that you are trying to make in order to convince yourself? ====== It is not marriage, but even before the marriage love goes down considerably and it is no more thrilling. At this stage, the thing which really helps is the presence of baby/children. Life becomes so much more beautiful with children and no more Boriat in the life. This stays till the time children are of 13-14 years, after which children want their own life. Ok brother, have I terrified you with "Children"? Yes I know you are not even planning a wife in next 5 years, and I am talking about wife+children here. Wife is not enough. After the marriage, you need either Children, or very good friends/family, or very good activities which don't let you get bore. Edited May 16, 2018 by Alam_dar Stradlater 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandeep Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 Do yourself and her and everyone around you both a favor. Don't drag it out. Its clear that you don't want to be with this girl. End it. Its like taking off a band-aid, the faster you do it, lesser the pain. Take it from someone who's been through a disastrous long relationship that ended in eventual divorce - it only lasted that long due to my conservative hang-ups and guilt about "commitment" and loyalty. Man up. End it. You may have to be the 'bad guy' in the short-term, but its the heroic thing to do from a long-term perspective. Stradlater 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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