Why people in desi families dont understand that education is one's personal matter?

[Franco Vazquez]

I have my result on my 14th and I am not really good at studies and my mom takes a lot of stress about it and most of them is because she's afraid that she will face embarrassment in the family if I don't get good grades. I don't know why people dont understand that its personal matter and most of those people who make fun are those who haven't even completed their education and failed most in their exams.

[Stradlater]

Do you guys have an equivalent of Sharma ji's kid for parents to swoon over?

[Texy]

8 hours ago, Franco Vazquez said:

I have my result on my 14th and I am not really good at studies and my mom takes a lot of stress about it and most of them is because she's afraid that she will face embarrassment in the family if I don't get good grades. I don't know why people dont understand that its personal matter and most of those people who make fun are those who haven't even completed their education and failed most in their exams.

Society including unemployed ppl gossiping all day apparently dictates your status in our culture apparently....and most parents want to 'fit in" instead of opposing it and that's why having a girl child is STILL considered a burden and dowry is still a big issue in 2018. No one bothers to stand up but just want to fall in line and keep living like selfish assholes. This translates to pressure on kids, pressure on girls. 

Edited August 13, 2018 by Texy

[beetle]

Because children are not something they bring into this world because they want them just for the sake of wanting children.

 

Children are born because...it is time to have them, aur kitna mazaa karoge akele akele.Aaj kal ke bachche materialistic hai.

 

Children are born as retirement plans...budhappe ki laathi.

 

Children are born to take care of the parents other children....specially boys. Beta hoga...apne bhai behanon ko padayega ....behenon ki shaadi kareya, he will take care of our debts that we have in the first place because we had  children that we could not afford.

 

Children are born because parents want to become grandparents. They need to see their dna playing around in front of their eyes. There are millions of orphans...why not spend time with them .

 

 

 

 

 

[MechEng]

Gossip is common across the world, just topics vary. In India it's studies but in US replace studies with dating, if you're 18 and above and you haven't lost your virginity yet, then you're a social outcast and a gossip topic among your peers. A 40 year old virgin in the US has the same reputation as a 50 year old man in India who is still preparing to clear 10th Board exams (there are real cases). That's just how things are.

[Singh bling]

4 hours ago, beetle said:

Because children are not something they bring into this world because they want them just for the sake of wanting children.

 

Children are born because...it is time to have them, aur kitna mazaa karoge akele akele.Aaj kal ke bachche materialistic hai.

 

Children are born as retirement plans...budhappe ki laathi.

 

Children are born to take care of the parents other children....specially boys. Beta hoga...apne bhai behanon ko padayega ....behenon ki shaadi kareya, he will take care of our debts that we have in the first place because we had  children that we could not afford.

 

Children are born because parents want to become grandparents. They need to see their dna playing around in front of their eyes. There are millions of orphans...why not spend time with them .

 

 

 

 

 

Like it or not but young people have to support old people to survive.This western concept is strange , don't have kids but ask Govt to provide all facilities for old age.Govt in return tax Young working population to support old people.In other words dusron ke bachche support karein budhape mein taaki hum jee sakein

[Singh bling]

13 hours ago, Franco Vazquez said:

I have my result on my 14th and I am not really good at studies and my mom takes a lot of stress about it and most of them is because she's afraid that she will face embarrassment in the family if I don't get good grades. I don't know why people dont understand that its personal matter and most of those people who make fun are those who haven't even completed their education and failed most in their exams.

R U in India or abroad??

[beetle]

1 hour ago, Singh bling said:

Like it or not but young people have to support old people to survive.This western concept is strange , don't have kids but ask Govt to provide all facilities for old age.Govt in return tax Young working population to support old people.In other words dusron ke bachche support karein budhape mein taaki hum jee sakein

Yeah...we should support parents and take care of them.But all this should be out of  love .Don't have kids as retirement plan but for love.

Don't support parents as a payback but for love.

 

Parents should definetely not have children so that one or more can take care of their their other children and settle them .

 

Anyways...don't want to derail more.

 

Back on topic. ...

Most parents don't even know the kind of professions that are open to youngsters today.

 

They want their child to study, get a safe job and be secure even if it is not something the child wants.May be there should be counselling available for parents to make them aware.

 

Another problem is that parents think their job is not done till the child gets settled in a job, gets married and has children of his/ her own and those grandchildren are  also brought up in their way in front of their eyes, in their lifetime.

 

 

 

 

[Singh bling]

37 minutes ago, beetle said:

Yeah...we should support parents and take care of them.But all this should be out of  love .Don't have kids as retirement plan but for love.

Don't support parents as a payback but for love.

 

Parents should definetely not have children so that one or more can take care of their their other children and settle them .

We are humans some will do it for love some will do it as duty and some will not anything for parents

 

As far parents not not having children for opd age then please tell who will take care of old people ?As a society we should ask those people who don't have children or where children are not taking care and they suffer from incurable painful illness to opt for Euthanasia?

 

41 minutes ago, beetle said:

Most parents don't even know the kind of professions that are open to youngsters today.

 

They want their child to study, get a safe job and be secure even if it is not something the child wants.May be there should be counselling available for parents to make them aware.

 

Another problem is that parents think their job is not done till the child gets settled in a job, gets married and has children of his/ her own and those grandchildren are  also brought up in their way in front of their eyes, in their lifetime

Its true many don't know about the professions but many have seen live examples of people that opted not the hot professions but decided to opt what they want to do.I have live examples of by brother cousins who opted normal career and the one who opted what they want to do

The one that opted normal career and studied  are in jobs or business.Two of my cousin who opted something else are

depressed or fell into something illegal.

 

The problem is we are not USA or Europe 

Where if you fail in one career you can opt for jobs.Most doors of study and jobs are closed when you are barely 30.If you are not successful in career you choose there is no coming back.At that time roaring rebels of late teens or early 20s fall into depression or fell in bad company.people make fun of them , they are not considered for marriage etc

[beetle]

49 minutes ago, Singh bling said:

We are humans some will do it for love some will do it as duty and some will not anything for parents

 

As far parents not not having children for opd age then please tell who will take care of old people ?As a society we should ask those people who don't have children or where children are not taking care and they suffer from incurable painful illness to opt for Euthanasia?

 

Its true many don't know about the professions but many have seen live examples of people that opted not the hot professions but decided to opt what they want to do.I have live examples of by brother cousins who opted normal career and the one who opted what they want to do

The one that opted normal career and studied  are in jobs or business.Two of my cousin who opted something else are

depressed or fell into something illegal.

 

The problem is we are not USA or Europe 

Where if you fail in one career you can opt for jobs.Most doors of study and jobs are closed when you are barely 30.If you are not successful in career you choose there is no coming back.At that time roaring rebels of late teens or early 20s fall into depression or fell in bad company.people make fun of them , they are not considered for marriage etc

Being taken care of in old age is a selfish reason to have a child. The child does not have the option ...when you have a child for oldage , you force that option on the child. Taking care should be out of love.

 

How do people who don't have kids manage?

How do people who have only girls manage, married into conservative families, these girls rarely have the option of taking care of their parents?

 

For every person who chose the not so normal career and failed, there are more people who succeeded. If the child is happy doing what the child wants and can take care of self...that is success.

The problem is the million expectations of the parents.

 

There are enough people hanging themselves because they could not fulfil their parents dreams or .....because they ended up fulfilling parents dream instead of their own .Is there a bigger failure than that?

 

Parents should be happy if the child can make a living doing whatever ...even if it means being a farmer ,a driver....or a shopkeeper. 

 

Let the child decide if and when they want to marry.

 

Let the child decide if and when he wants a child .

 

If they let the children decide....the children will find their place in the world according to their capabilities and wishes.

 

Children don't have to live their lives fulfilling the parents dreams and making them proud. If the child is independent and satisfied....that should be enough for the parents. 

But then beti ki shaadi kaun karaega?

Chote bhai ko kaun padaega?

Achche din kaun dikaega....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 13, 2018 by beetle

[someone]

Many use that as a motivation while you are whining about it. Parents single biggest aim is that their children have better lives than themselves. And education is the number one method for it.

 

 

[Trichromatic]

If you have any other interest and devoting time, then it's ok. No need to suppress your talent or interests. But if you are doing just hawabazi then better start studying instead of spending time on forums. Saying that it's your personal matter isn't enough.

[beetle]

Franco...if you are still in school , then you better listen to mom and study as well as you can.

 

If you are in college..talk to her about what you want to do in life and how you are going to achieve it. Show her some intent that you have a plan....a genuine plan. Give her some basis to trust that you care about your life and want to do something with it.

 

 

 

[coffee_rules]

8 hours ago, Singh bling said:

R U in India or abroad??

It doesn't matter, I meet parents here in US, all they are worried and talk about is...

 

1. Kids doing well in School - Kids in higher level of learning syllabus (Academic Honors or AP), Sports, Music (some concert/band/instrument), Dance Arangetrams etc.

2. Kids' SAT scores, college admissions, Ivy League, College fees (the higher the proud they feel)

3. European vacations, Latin American is the latest in thing now. - The remote the better

4. Automobiles - Merc, Tesla - highest level, Acura, Lexus is mid-level. Honda/Toyota is elementary)

5. Brands - Apple, Michael Kors, Coach, Designer wear

6. Dissing India - Every time they visit how worse it is becoming - traffic, crowds, system etc.

[Franco Vazquez]

Firstly, The money thing doesn't apply here. My family is filthy rich and I haven't gone to school since Jan and I appeared privately for exams. Secondly, I do have other interests but the main problem is that in A Level everything is complicated, They don't want you to learn something new but just memorize and apply stuff which wont be useful in future

[Singh bling]

7 hours ago, beetle said:

Being taken care of in old age is a selfish reason to have a child. The child does not have the option ...when you have a child for oldage , you force that option on the child. Taking care should be out of love.

And we all are selfish infact Human being survived because they were selfish.There is no escape route for young working population .Either take care of old people themselves or just pay tax to Govt which in turn will take care of aged population.Imagine a society where 90% people opt not to have kids .30-40 years later that society will look scary.Old people will be dying on roads with no one to pick up bodies as 90% population will be old and unable to work.

 

7 hours ago, beetle said:

How do people who don't have kids manage?

How do people who have only girls manage, married into conservative families, these girls rarely have the option of taking care of their parents?

 

Simple , They live Bhagwan bharose , die bemaut,means if there is mild heart attack and nobody was there to take you to hospital .or they attach themselves to a sibling which has sons.The aged population in India still belong to generation where 5-7 kids was norm.

 

7 hours ago, beetle said:

For every person who chose the not so normal career and failed, there are more people who succeeded. If the child is happy doing what the child wants and can take care of self...that is success.

The problem is the million expectations of the parents.

 

There are enough people hanging themselves because they could not fulfil their parents dreams or .....because they ended up fulfilling parents dream instead of their own .Is there a bigger failure than that?

 

Parents should be happy if the child can make a living doing whatever ...even if it means being a farmer ,a driver....or a shopkeeper. 

 

Let the child decide if and when they want to marry.

 

Let the child decide if and when he wants a child .

 

If they let the children decide....the children will find their place in the world according to their capabilities and wishes.

 

Children don't have to live their lives fulfilling the parents dreams and making them proud. If the child is independent and satisfied....that should be enough for the parents. 

But then beti ki shaadi kaun karaega?

Chote bhai ko kaun padaega?

Achche din kaun dikaega....

Not true , more people fail when they choose not so normal career.How many boys play cricket , how many even make it to Ranji trophy?very few.similarly the stories of people going to mumbai  to become actor singer etc but end up doing menial jobs are very famous.

 

Being a small farmer , a driver or small shopkeeper are majboori ke career.Hardly any young guy or girl dream of becoming that.

 

The problem with no so normal career is high failure rate and earning not upto the expectations.then most people either become depress , do nasha or even induldge in illegal things.

 

Many parents in India just want their children to live a decent life.We are 1.3 billion nation with cut throat competetion for every earning opportunity .

[nikred]

Firstly, The money thing doesn't apply here. My family is filthy rich and I haven't gone to school since Jan and I appeared privately for exams. Secondly, I do have other interests but the main problem is that in A Level everything is complicated, They don't want you to learn something new but just memorize and apply stuff which wont be useful in future

You are not planning to live off your parents money for the rest of your life, are you? If not, how does it matter how rich your family is?

If you have other interests, discuss it with your parents and try to make them understand what you want in life. Try to hear out their perspective too instead of just shutting them down.

Sent from my Redmi Note 4 using Tapatalk

[beetle]

Franco...finish school first.

There is a basic level of education that everyone needs. 

Then you can follow your dreams.

[beetle]

8 hours ago, Singh bling said:

And we all are selfish infact Human being survived because they were selfish.There is no escape route for young working population .Either take care of old people themselves or just pay tax to Govt which in turn will take care of aged population.Imagine a society where 90% people opt not to have kids .30-40 years later that society will look scary.Old people will be dying on roads with no one to pick up bodies as 90% population will be old and unable to work.

 

Simple , They live Bhagwan bharose , die bemaut,means if there is mild heart attack and nobody was there to take you to hospital .or they attach themselves to a sibling which has sons.The aged population in India still belong to generation where 5-7 kids was norm.

 

Not true , more people fail when they choose not so normal career.How many boys play cricket , how many even make it to Ranji trophy?very few.similarly the stories of people going to mumbai  to become actor singer etc but end up doing menial jobs are very famous.

 

Being a small farmer , a driver or small shopkeeper are majboori ke career.Hardly any young guy or girl dream of becoming that.

 

The problem with no so normal career is high failure rate and earning not upto the expectations.then most people either become depress , do nasha or even induldge in illegal things.

 

Many parents in India just want their children to live a decent life.We are 1.3 billion nation with cut throat competetion for every earning opportunity .

Bhai...is desh ka yeh haal 5-6 bachon se hi hua hai.

Have 5-6 kids to support the elderly. Then to support these 5-6 people they should have 8-9 children , then 12-15 .

The cycle will have the same end . Some day people will have to look around and stop having children.

 

In western countries...people pay taxes and are taken care of. That is not so bad . The cycle of endless production of children ends there.

 

People may live away from family there and some may suffer in old age, but here the youngsters are going to suffer through out life to take care of far more people than possible.

For what?....so that their children then fulfill their duty to take care of them in old age. 

 

Akhri 10 saal ki fikar mein saari zindagi piste raho.

 

Arey bhai ....akhiri 10 saal sanyaas le lo.

Marna sabko hai ek din .

 

I would rather die at 70 while I can still take care of myself than not have control over my life and live till 100.

 

 

 

[Stradlater]

@beetle You are making Indian parents sound like some evil, diabolical, scheming a&&holes whose only motive to procreate and have offsprings as some sort of insurance in their later life.

 

What about the countless sacrifices they have to endure to make sure their kids get success in life? It's a well known fact that Indian parents work extremely hard all their life to save every bit of last extra penny for the education and career of their kids. They would give up their own dreams to fulfill their kids.

After all this **** throughout their entire life, is expecting your kids to take care of you too much to ask for?

I for one won't hesitate to help my parents in anyway possible when they are too infirm to take care of themselves. I don't care if that leads to me getting broke. That's what our culture is all about and I don't feel ashamed about it.

Honestly I have become sick of the prevalence of this self hating attitude among modern Indians. West west ka rag alap k people have lost their identities.