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Athers-Inzi: Boo Boo Boo

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For all Athers-Inzi fans: The Eng-Pak 2006 series, saw two historic characters emerge. Athers & Inzi. Am archiving all Athers-Inzi stuff in one thread for ease of access. 2nd Test, Old Trafford, Manchester. After Harmison annihilated the Pak batsmen in the 1st innings Part-1: The Stoopid Boyzz Athers: Inzi, this is an absolutely shocking batting display. What do u have to say about this performance ? Inzi: Bismillah, Rehman ur Rahim, Thank is you allah! Boyzz is misunderstand coach, coach say duck for bouncer, boyzz score duck. I too duck and we suck. -- Pak loses the test series 2-0, after tall claims from their fans that their test team is ready to challenge Australia Part-2: I go bathroom Inzi: Bismillah Rehman-ur Rahim. Thanks to allah! Atherton: Inzi, whats wrong with your team ? Inzi: "No wrong. We is very good team. Mashallah we just need two openers, a stable middle order, healthy bowling lineup and Akmal to bat & keep well. Inshallah when we go Pakistan, we are fine". Atherton: Hmmm, thats everything in a cricket team. Your openers are awful, got any words for them ? Inzi: "Yes, two words." Atherton pulls the mike away worried. Inzi snaps it right back. Inzi: "Think hard. They is think better, they is come good. Now when butt open, he open butt and close brain. Inshallah he open brain more" Atherton: Imran calls u the best player of pace. But u couldnt handle even Monty's pace. Inzi: "Imran saab is right. But Monty saala yell 'Donald' every time he bowl. I go bathroom." Atherton: (Giggling)You rolled over the stumps. Inzi: "Saala, Read yell 'McGrath' when Monty yell 'Donald', i is no concentrate. I try fall hard on Read and crush him" Atherton: "Whats wrong with Kaneria ?". Inzi: "Kaneria add more vareity now. His chicken dance is good" Atherton: "Whats ur plan for next match" Inzi: "Next match, mashallah, Rain!!" -- Pak is accused of ball tampering & Inzi leads a famous protest, only to chicken out moments later. The match is forfeited & England wins the series 3-0, completing the humiliation of Pakistan Part-3: Whiteman screw us Inzi: Bismillah Rehman-ur-Rahim, Thanks to Allah! Athers: Inzi, Pak team has been accused of ball tampering this game. This is a serious accusation. Whats your reaction ? Inzi: Shock. Where evidence ? Wasim, Waqar, Imran all retire now. Asif tell me, he only do it first innings. Unfair. Kutha Hair! Athers: Whats the state of mind of the team right now ? Inzi: Boyzz have no mind. We feel like porn star on adult channel. All white man screw us and world enjoy. Athers: Why did Pakistan not come out after Tea ? Inzi: Eng announce Flintoff come back. Boyzz protest good bowlers. Athers: Then why did u guys change ur mind and come back ? Inzi: Yusuf, Younis fall at feet Flintoff and twist ankle. We ready now. Athers: Why did PCB not support the use of more technology ? Inzi: Khan saab say Pak bowlers make no love to ball with technology. We oppose technology. Imran saab give good wins with no technology. Athers: Whats Pakistan's answer to Darrel Hair. Inzi: Mashallah, Shakoor Rana. -- As if the 3-0 result werent humiliating enuff, Pak draws the ODI series 2-2 against the worst ODI team in the world. And what makes the result more humilating is that this was not even Eng's first choice ODI lineup, while Pak featured a potential world cup squad, with all their stalwarts hale & healthy. Part-4: Greeng Greeng Inzi: Bismillah Rehman-ur-Rahim. Thanks to Allah! Athers: You lost 3-0 in the Test series. Now 2-2 to the worst ODI team in the world, and that too against the Z team. Any thoughts ? Inzi: Botham say we is world cup champ. We is good team. Bring on Bangla Tigers! Jive Jive Pakistan! Athers: Why do Pak fare poorly at the sight of anything green ? Inzi: We no afraid green. We is green shirt, green pant, green cap, sit on green sofa. Our phone rings "greeng greeng" We love green. Inshallah, they make cricket ball and bat green. Athers: Afridi & Akmal, who are touted as the future of Pak cricket, are back to their pathetic selves. Whats Pakistan's strategy to get them back to their best. Inzi: When we go Pakistan, we do brain surgery on Afridi & Akmal. Last time, Dr. Salim, brain specialist, look at Afridi, Akmal and find no brain. Inshallah, he find brain now. Athers: Whats Bob Woolmer's role in all this ? Inzi: Boob chacha, is good coach. He wake up morning, check email, count money. Then tell us play hard, count more money and pray for us. Athers: Your leadership has been lacking thru out the series. Is it time for you to step down ? Inzi: I is very good leader. I show lot of character, versatility. I lead Pakistan in the game, I lead Pak out of the game. In the ODI series i even lead from behind. I give everything. Mashallah, after Imran, I is the best captain. -- So finally we have the verdict from the ICC. Inzi has been cleared of ball tampering, but has been banned 4 ODIs. As usual the curious Atherton has a boatload of questions for Inzi. Part-5: Chasing donkeys in Waziristan Inzi: Bismillah, Rehman-ur-Rahim, Thanks to Allah! Athers: This is fantastic news for you & PCB. Your team has been cleared of ball tampering Inzi: Boyzz is happy. This great news. Mashallah, ICC find no evidence. I is very joy today. Athers: Lets unravel the recent events in this episode. How did PCB suddenly manage to get BCCI's support in the Hair episode ? That should have played a great part in influencing the ICC. Inzi: We is give BCCI ultimatum. Musharraf threaten Afridi president in 2 weeks. BCCI and India worry, Oh no, some brain better than no brain. Hahaha, Mashallah, Afridi save day. Athers: Your team was accused by the ICC of two things. a) Ball tampering B) KHPD: Kade Hair Pe Dhoka, apparently the walk out incident, leaving Umpire Hair, high & dry -- to which Mr. Faker Suman (who was later found be a PCB con, masquerading as BCCI representative) has taken strong exception to. They have cleared u for tampering, but banned u for KHPD. Is this justified ? Inzi: KHPD ? We no KHPD, we is Kaja beedi. Afridi smoke Lala beedi. Inshallah, PCB make team mascot jaja beedi. Athers: English commentators unanimously agree your team is among the most balanced in the world. Your ban would certainly impact the balance a bit. But Bob Woolmer who played a great role in achieving this team balance, should steady the ship ? Inzi: Boob chacha only good bank balance. But I is create team balance. Team balance no easy. I is front of bus, Boob chacha back of bus, Boyzz in middle. very fine balance. Akhtar saala, affect balance, going front and back, we kick him out. Now he sorry and sit middle ok. Athers: U guys copped a massive whipping in England. Whipping of enormous proportions. Did u guys not have problems at the Lahore airport while returning. Inzi: Boyzz is no problem. All player wear burka. Bob Woolmer disguise in big beard, as "Mohammad WUlmah". We go home fine. Athers: Lot of teams are engaged in innovative training camps these days. Do you guys plan to do some such training in the off season ? Brief me about your camps & preparation for world cup 2007. Inzi: Boob chacha invent new camp. Boyzz set fire and run behind donkeys in Waziristan. Athers: What, running behind donkeys ? Thats the first time i've heard of this. Thats hilarious! Inzi: This no fun. Woolmer study donkey reaction with a$$ on fire. It come useful in match situation. Inshallah, we learn good in training. PCB also hire new "joker coach". Boyzz need humour before world cup. Athers: Holy cr@p, a joker coach. What does he do ? Inzi: He crack joke after loss. Boyzz cheer up, run behind donkeys. He crack new joke last week: "Boyzz when u no hunger to win, eat less samosas!" Haa haa haa! Athers: (With a grim look) Boy, you guys are a starved bunch. Thats worse than Russian & Chinese humor combined.Anyways, good luck in the Champions trophy! -- Pakistani bowlers have historically been contraversial. Its well documented that Imran, Sarfraaz, Akram, Waqar all tampered with the ball. Akhtar continued the tradition & took it to the next level by chucking under the pretext of hyper extension. Asif & Akhtar now, have redefined the art of cheating by taking anabolic steroids. As usual theres confusion already in the background to go along with these events (PCB chair recently resigning, captaincy changing hands, Inzy asked not to visit India & Bob Chacha asking for performance bonus after an embarrassing English tour both in Tests & ODIs). Athers & Inzi sit down to talk about the state of Pakistan cricket. Part-6: Cipher-extension Athers: Inzi, sad day for Pak cricket. Asif & Akhtar have been accused of taking performance enhancing drugs. What are you thoughts? Inzi: Shaitaan Hair destroy Pak cricket. Shaitaan ka bacha. I is banned, sharyaar resign, YK captain, my commentary career screw. Athers: What will Hair do ? Arent Akhtar & Asif responsible for their own problems ? Inzi: Akhtar saala always trouble. He bunk skool, copy exam, they catch him, he produce hyper extension certificate. He then fake butt injury, now take drug to grow brain. He stoopid. Athers: U think Akhtar & Asif took these drugs to enhance their brain cells. Thats shocking, never heard of this before. Inzi: Me too shock, Akhtar saala have cipher-extension. He think with kidney. Nandralone-X variety directly connect brain and kidney. He think better now. Athers: What about Asif ? Inzi: Asif innocent. He only smoke, no drug. Akhtar put drug in kaja beedi. Athers: Some body is responsible in the management for all these issues. Would it be Bob or the PCB staff ? Inzi: Younis Khan. He very bad captain. I is outstanding captain, i is lead outside now. Inshallah, PCB make me captain. I solve all issue. Athers: What will u do differently ? Inzi: I bring back Sami. He great talunt. Imran call him Malcolm Sami. Poor Marshall die. Athers: Marshall died because of Sami ? Inzi: Marshall watch Sami tape on last day. Sami bowl well now. Wasim Raja watch Sami bowl in nets. Saala he too die. Athers: Woolmer has asked for $50K US in performance bonus. U guys were just whipped 3-0 in the test series & 2-2 in ODIs. What performance is he talkin about ? Inzi: Chacha only worry money. He big African looter. He work with Pybus and loot many bank before. Our prev coach, Pybus make team bad, PCB bankrupt. Now Chacha do nothing, get rich. Athers: Tell us about your possible commentary stint with the Indian TV channel. Inzi: Yaar, i is great opportunity on Animal Planet. I is work lot with animal every day. PCB destroy great career. Athers: So you were asked to commentate on Animal Planet ? Hmm interesting. Where do u go from here ? Inzi: I go bathroom. Sami bowl in net today, we go see him next. Athers faints. -- Boo Boo Boo The legendary Athers-Inzi are back after a few months break to talk about the latest developments in Pakistani cricket Athers: Inzi, not sure what your mood will be after the world cup. Its great to talk to u ahead of the competition. Inzi: Bismillah-Rehman-ur-Rahim, Thank is you Allah. Athers: Whats with this PCB's ruling on Urdu interviews only ? Inzi: Yaar, Pakistan team speak Ingles, get in trouble with WI locals. Kaneria stare at local woman & go "Boo Boo Boo......". Lady slap Kaneria, complain police. Poor Kaneria, he is want to go to book store. Athers: Thats unfortunate. Inzi: Boob chacha ask Sami get soap, Saala go to local store, get dope. PCB pass rule no more talkin Ingles. Urdu or hand signs only. Athers: I read that ICC is gonna question Afridi on his contraversial on field behavior ? Inzi: Yaar, Afridi practise hard, hurt index finger. He appeal during game, with middle finger. He no fault. Inshallah, he set free again. Athers: That loss vs WI must have hurt the morale of the team a bit. Inzi: We no hurt. We plan good for world cup. All donkeys go corner now. Mashallah, we is dangerous. Athers: Imran thinks you havent used Sami well. What do you reckon ? Inzi: Yaar we is use Sami good. But Sami big fool. He no learn. Boob chacha tell Sami to turn it around, saala, Sami turn around & bowl to boundary. Rana is bowl good. Athers: Ok, Inzi nice talking to u. Hope to talk to you more often during the world cup. After Twenty20 world cup finals loss vs India Inzi: Bismillah Rehman-ur-Rahim. Phirst of all thank is you allah! Shastri: Brilliant game Inzi, sadly someone had to lose it Inzi: Yeah boyzz is play good, we lose ball in final ball. Shastri: What was the turning point of the match ? Inzi: Akhtar. Shastri: Akhtar ?!!!!!! Inzi: Akhtar hit Afridi on head with the bat. Afridi see two ball from Pathan. He hit the wrong one for six. Shastri: Fantastic innings from Misbah-Ul-Haq Inzi: He come from family of legend. Good player. Shastri: Were you guys a bit underprepared for this tournament ? Inzi: Boyzz is prepare good. Boyzz prepare for cricket, we lose on bowl out. We prepare bowl out, we lose cricket. Dhoni always confuse boyzz. Shastri: Imran bowed out of the world cup & started a hospital. Do you have any such plans ? Inzi: I start Ingles medium skool in Khandahar and teach poor kids Ingles. Shastri: Thanks Inzi, good luck! Inzi's Farewell (after his last test) Inzi: Bismillah, Reman-ur-Rahim, Thank is you Allah! Athers: Inzi, an undramatic end to a stellar career Inzi: Yeah boyzz is play good. We is bat well and field well. Athers: Am talking about you Inzi. You'd have liked to finish with an avg above the 50 mark ? Inzi: 49 average very good. Yusuf avg 56, but he no legend. PCB give good money, Habibul not coming Pakistan soon, i retire. Athers: Whats your biggest regret in your career ? Inzi: Harami log, McGrath and Donald. I join ICL, Saala McGrath too join ICL. I quit ICL, retire now. Athers: You had several opportunities to nail McGrath. In the 2004 tour, you missed out due of injury. Inzi: Big mosquito bite injury yaar. McGrath escape. Athers: You always had issues with Shoaib Akhtar, what do you think of his recent spat with Asif ? Inzi: Akhtar big fool. Saala, he practise free hit with Asif, get ban. Stoopid, never learn Athers: Have you thought about your post retirement career ? Inzi: I is do commentary. Arun Lal big inspiration. I is sign 4 year contract with Animal Planet. Athers: Thanks Inzi, good luck! Bonus Updates Boob ache by Shwetabh Inzy cites boob ache as the reason for his cop out of the Thrashes'04 series. After the Perth test, Inzy goes hiding for the remaining two, leaving his team in a limbo. Han Solo's gem on the Inzy cop out Scene: Perth 2005 Second Innings, Inzamam just out. Inzamam: Yessss izzz not feeeling ok Boob, boobzzz hurtingzzz. Bob: Huh? WTF are you talking about Inzi, I am not hurting anywhere and my boobs pack a decent punch and are bigger than yours. So you should be the facking one who and whose boobs should be hurting! Inzamam: Boobzzz, McGrathzzz getting me outzzz for 0 again. Bob: Whats that got to do with my facking boobs? Inzamam: Boobzzz, McGrathzzz getting me first balzzz. Bob: Dude, either you've got boobs or balls. I know I've got boobs and you've got smaller ones, where do the balls come in? Inzamam: Yeaaah, I not thinking thatzzzz. But McGrathzzz getting me phirst balzzz. Dont know where theyzzz comingzz from. Bob: Listen, Inzi. I've had enough of you. You had one ball which we stole from Kashmir and you gave to McGrath today. You better grow it back before you play against McGrath. In the mean time you can have my boobs and pretend to have a boob ache. -- Bumper parade continues... Butt head Drawing inspiration from his skipper, Akhtar fakes butt injury & cops out of the India-Pak'05 series. Bumper's version of Actaar's butt injury Bob: Actaar, what the hell is wrong with u ? Actor: Shhnothing, Shhbob, I justsh have shmaall butt-ache in my buttock Bob: You got more accent than grammar, dude. Did i hear u say u have a butt injury ? Actor: Thatshh right Bob. I got my bott kicked by sheywag last time. Itsh still hurtshh. I wantsh Raana to take the honorsshh. Inzi butts in. Inzi: What problem, Akhtar saala, fake injury again ? Actor: Hey Inshi, waaash wot u shey mate. I got no boob ake like some boady. Inzi: I is real injury. U is fake injury. Actor: This no faake mait. This is reaal. Inzi: U is hold head in pain yesterday, u is hold butt today. What matter ? Actor: Thatssh raight mait. I am a butt-head, goddit now mait ? Akhtar-Asif Dressing Room Spat (an original transcript) Here is the official transcript of the dressing room incident released by Reuters Shoaiby: Ashif mait, how you doin, mait ? Asif: Not good. I have some pain on elbow, my legs hurt, my hands numb. Shoaiby: No worriesh mait. All minor after effects of nandro. Asif: Saala, you say dope is good. I believe you. Shaoiby: Trusht me mait, i have been using this sinche am 13. I only losht my penish in between. But it promptly grew back mait. Asif (with devastated looks): My penis too pain for last 3 days. But you told me not to worry. Shoaib: Relaxsh, mait cshew this ghum. I'm there for you mait. You'll be alright. Asif: Thanks (chewing the gum). What i do now ? Shoaib: Nothing, mait. You just cshew the gum. That Hakim ish good. The gum worked for me. Asif: (more worried) This gum is from that Hakim ? Saala i have to play 20/20 next week. Shoaib: Dont worry mait, your shances are 20/20. Thatsh the new pill -- ban-dralone. Asif: (agitated) You screw my career. Do something, help me come out of this. Shoaib: (lifts the bat close by & rams it on Asif's legs to injure him) Now you are offichially injured mait. You are no a drug cheat And thus Asif was injured

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yoda Newbie

yoda

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Re: Athers-Inzi: Boo Boo Boo

Athers: Imran thinks you havent used Sami well. What do you reckon ? Inzi: Yaar we is use Sami good. But Sami big fool. He no learn. Boob chacha tell Sami to turn it around, saala, Sami turn around & bowl to boundary. Rana is bowl good.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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DesiChap Newbie

DesiChap

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Re: Athers-Inzi: Boo Boo Boo :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Inzi: Boob chacha ask Sami get soap, Saala go to local store, get dope. PCB pass rule no more talkin Boob chacha tell Sami to turn it around, saala, Sami turn around & bowl to boundary. Bumper excellent interview :lmao: :lmao:

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Dhondy Newbie

Dhondy

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Re: Athers-Inzi: Boo Boo Boo Oh, I love these interviews! Nothing like them. Look at this underrated line! "We no hurt. We plan good for world cup. All donkeys go corner now. Mashallah, we is dangerous" All donkeys go corner now! The world had better watch out! :hail::hail:

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theguyinallblue Newbie

theguyinallblue

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Re: Athers-Inzi: Boo Boo Boo :hic: :hic: :hic: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: ... ahh..arthur--inzi..interview.. thankfully..arthur does not faint this time.. :hic: bumper ..some comments on beard also..? Arthur : inzi...what is this fashion of growing beard among the players..? inzi.: dekhiye jee...we are growing beard..i apply bush-mush chaap manure to make it more bushy....we loose WI..we loose Ireland... we go home...shave beard..no one recognize... we is planning to order burqa also.. but i is not getting any size..

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