I Love You...

[Dark Warrior]

Men! It's really important for a man to learn how to say, "I love you" properly to a woman. I learned just how important it is when I was watching a critical football game. It was the fourth quarter, with seconds left to play, and the losing team was rushing for the touchdown which would win them the game. At this critical moment, my female companion happened to stand in front of the TV set, unintentionally (I couldn't prove it wasn't) placing her body between me and the football game. It was a desperate moment where time was of the essence and decisions have to be made quickly. Quietly but firmly I said, "Honey, I love youx" The words hung in the air as she turned toward me with a surprise on her face, because she wasn't used to me being so affectionate. When her eyes met mine I finished my sentence, "xto move away from the TV set." Later on when we were both sharing the couch I said to her, "I love youx" Again she turned toward me, mesmerized, as I finished my sentence, "xto hand over the remote so I can watch what I want on TV." Next day as we were having an informal dinner together at home, I looked at my food and said to her, "I love youx" This time hostile suspicion met my eyes, but what the heck, I finished my sentence anyway, "xto learn how to cook." And so it went on for a while, "I love youx.to learn how to clean housex.not spend so much moneyx.to do the laundry." I was able to get away with this for a while because she had a fanatical need for someone to tell her, "I love you." But like all trends, this one too, came to an end. One unexpected day she learned to do without her pre-programmed need and reversed the tables. "Honey, I love youx." she said to me. I looked up, surprised. As her eyes met mine, she finished her sentence, "x.to meet my needs, physical, emotional, and spiritual. And next time you say 'I love you' you better mean it." One day I said to her, "Honey, I love you. Don't look at me that way, I just love you, that's all."