Why Pakistan is actually New Zealand?

[rkt.india]

Many people don't realise that Pakistan's recently concluded Test series in New Zealand was actually a home series for them, thanks to the combined genius of the ICC policy-makers and the security situation back home in Pakistan. Inspired by this, teams such as India and Sri Lanka have hit upon the evil plan of improving their less-than-impressive overseas records by playing all their away series at home. "Yes! If Pakistan can play home series in New Zealand, then we can play away series in India itself. Finally we will beat Australia in Australia by beating them in India. It's brilliant," schemed BCCI president Shashank Manohar, rubbing his palms with glue. "Damn! It was supposed to be glee, not glue! For heaven's sake. Dumb writer! Careless editor!" he cursed, unable to separate his palms for a few hours afterwards. The Sri Lankan cricket authorities are also thrilled with the idea. "For our next away series, no one can accuse us of preparing slow, lifeless wickets. We can't help it if countries like South Africa or England prepare such wickets in Sri Lanka, which end up helping the away team," winked former Sri Lanka captain Arjuna Ranatunga, slightly breathless as always. The news has had spinners Muttiah Muralitharan and Ajantha Mendis licking their lips with glee (hence cleverly escaping gluing their mouths shut). "If Pakistan played a home series in New Zealand, we can safely conclude that Pakistan is New Zealand, since Pakistan's home is Pakistan. This means that Pakistan recently drew the series against Pakistan, played in New Zealand, which is actually Pakistan," said an increasingly flustered-looking former New Zealand great Sarfraz Nawaz. "What's next? People will soon claim that Barbados, Jamaica and West Indies are one and the same," he signed off. There is no need to panic over rumours about a new horror film based on the return of JY Lele to Indian cricket administration "This new development essentially means that international boundaries have become completely irrelevant. Good, now let's all quickly form clubs and play some IPL," grinned IPL commissioner Lalit Modi, displaying a keen sense of opportunism that would have made Ruud Van Nistelrooy turn green with envy. In the meantime, South African (or possibly Bangladeshi) legend Makhaya Ntini played his 100th Test match in Durban against England (or possibly Australia). In a typically cheerful and upbeat mood on the eve of the match, Ntini told presspersons that he had absolutely no regrets at the impending end of his long and distinguished career. "Except, it would be nice if Sunny Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri would finally stop referring to me as 'En-tini'. Can't be that hard, yeah?" he winked. "I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate being referred to as Eggvaskar or… er… ah… ," he trailed off, unable to think of an interesting play on "Shastri". Also, the effigy-burning fans in Kolkata, India, have decided to protect their rights by forming an "effigy-burners' union". "We have to regularly burn people such as Greg Chappell, MS Dhoni and Shah Rukh Khan in effigy for hurting the sentiments of Bengali cricket fans. But the media always shows us in a negative light. We have decided to protect ourselves by forming a union," said someone whose name sounded like "Sinestro", but that couldn't possibly be true. Apparently, the effigy-burners' union will deal with anyone who criticises them by burning their effigies. And finally, there is no need to panic over rumours about a new horror film based on the return of JY Lele to Indian cricket administration. The film is unlikely to see the light of day because a succession of studio executives have had fatal heart attacks while contemplating the idea for green-lighting. Here is article. http://www.cricinfo.com/page2/content/story/440982.html

[Asim]

"Yes! If Pakistan can play home series in New Zealand, then we can play away series in India itself. Finally we will beat Australia in Australia by beating them in India. It's brilliant," schemed BCCI president Shashank Manohar :hysterical:

[DomainK]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Sooda]

:cantstop: Funny stuff.. page two has some good writeups

[Asim]

I think now "home series" and "away series" terms should be over... "vs AUS in Pak" & "vs AUS in AUS" are more better...

[Asim]

In New zealand for any test match, it happened for the first time that away team captain (M.Yousuf) tossed the coin, why? because tradionally home side captain tosses the coin... and here in New Zealand, actually vettori was Guest team captain & Yousuf was home side captain. :winky:

[Indianfan_Hyd]

Cricinfo's Usman Samiuddin says... Pakis are Australias ***** " In hip-hop parlance, Pakistan has long been Australia's she-dog." http://www.cricinfo.com/ausvpak09/content/current/story/441070.html

[Pak_Forever]

Cricinfo's Usman Samiuddin says... Pakis are Australias ***** " In hip-hop parlance, Pakistan has long been Australia's she-dog." http://www.cricinfo.com/ausvpak09/content/current/story/441070.html

Well Australian have owned most of the times....just like India is Pak's ***-***. :--D

[Mamu]

You know everytime I take a dig at your education level our Liberal Leftists Mods -- who are always here to pander to our neighbors whims and fancies no matter how asinine they are -- delete my posts. How does India which has won 50% of the series played between Pak and Ind -- equal to a -- Aus vs Pak which has beaten (or should I say rammed a shaft ) -- 3-0 in the last 10 years ? On a serious serious note -- where did you get you under-graduate or graduate degree from. And I plead to the mods to not delete this. I want to hear the name of school where this guy got his education from. Nothing insulting here -- just curious -- Pak-4Ever ?

[saneindian]

Well Australian have owned most of the times....just like India is Pak's ***-***. :--D

Do they teach you to read 10-0, 10-10 and 5-5 in last 12 years as one and the same in schools across the border? No wonder we see such comments here.

[Pak_Forever]

You know everytime I take a dig at your education level our Liberal Leftists Mods -- who are always here to pander to our neighbors whims and fancies no matter how asinine they are -- delete my posts. How does India which has won 50% of the series played between Pak and Ind -- equal to a -- Aus vs Pak which has beaten (or should I say rammed a shaft ) -- 3-0 in the last 10 years ? On a serious serious note -- where did you get you under-graduate or graduate degree from. And I plead to the mods to not delete this. I want to hear the name of school where this guy got his education from. Nothing insulting here -- just curious -- Pak-4Ever ?

Forget about my education, you tell me which school have you been to? You easily come across as the most hateful poster on ICF when it comes to Pakistani discussion. I am completely being honest here. Surprisingly this is your very first post where I haven't noticed you using terms like terrorist, bombers and using ridiculous amount of swearing for Pakistanis. by the way I went to Harvard...now go cry a river! :--D

[Guest Hiten.]

Well Australian have owned most of the times....just like India is Pak's ***-***. :--D

What does this thread have to do with India at all ? Article was written by your fellow Pakistani and Indiafan_Hyd just repeated what Osman mentioned in parlance to hip-hop.

You know everytime I take a dig at your education level our Liberal Leftists Mods -- who are always here to pander to our neighbors whims and fancies no matter how asinine they are -- delete my posts. How does India which has won 50% of the series played between Pak and Ind -- equal to a -- Aus vs Pak which has beaten (or should I say rammed a shaft ) -- 3-0 in the last 10 years ? On a serious serious note -- where did you get you under-graduate or graduate degree from. And I plead to the mods to not delete this. I want to hear the name of school where this guy got his education from. Nothing insulting here -- just curious -- Pak-4Ever ?

Give me one reason to keep your posts like these in cricket talk (if on ICF site at all) ? What does his education has to do with this topic or cricket ? ICF admins have been kind enough to give their users with a facility of Private messaging; which can be used to share information that you are interested in (allowing the other 99.9% of Indian posters, continuing to not give a damn). Merry Christmas

[Texy]

"For our next away series, no one can accuse us of preparing slow, lifeless wickets. We can't help it if countries like South Africa or England prepare such wickets in Sri Lanka, which end up helping the away team," winked former Sri Lanka captain Arjuna Ranatunga, slightly breathless as always. :hysterical:

[Mamu]

Forget about my education, you tell me which school have you been to? You easily come across as the most hateful poster on ICF when it comes to Pakistani discussion. I am completely being honest here. Surprisingly this is your very first post where I haven't noticed you using terms like terrorist, bombers and using ridiculous amount of swearing for Pakistanis. by the way I went to Harvard...now go cry a river! :--D

Is there a resson to love Pakis? And what is that for? I reply to hateful posts by imbecile pakis, like yourself - by using the words above and for a good reason, because unlike the mods I cannot stand somebody taking a dig at my nation -- least of all from people who belong to a nation whose reputation or lack there of is widely known world over and not just India. And the place where I got educated -- they taught me -- 2 - 1 Series Scorecard is better than an ***** whipping 0 - 3 unlike in "Harvard" where they taught you that they are equal.

[Mamu]

What does this thread have to do with India at all ? Article was written by your fellow Pakistani and Indiafan_Hyd just repeated what Osman mentioned in parlance to hip-hop. Give me one reason to keep your posts like these in cricket talk (if on ICF site at all) ? What does his education has to do with this topic or cricket ? ICF admins have been kind enough to give their users with a facility of Private messaging; which can be used to share information that you are interested in (allowing the other 99.9% of Indian posters, continuing to not give a damn). Merry Christmas

I will answer ur query later blue_brigade -- I have to head out right now. It will be a long answer!

[flamy]

Fantastic. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[PotterManiac]

"Damn! It was supposed to be glee, not glue! For heaven's sake. Dumb writer! Careless editor!" he cursed, unable to separate his palms for a few hours afterwards.

:haha: