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MHR Jokes Corner


mhr123

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At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?' 'Very good! And what is it used for?' 'It is used for a headache.' The second pupil said: 'Nytol.' 'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?' 'To help you sleep', replied the student. Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.' 'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine. 'It is used for diarrhea.' 'And who told you this, Johnny?' 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'take a viagra, and maybe that sh|t will get harder.'' Sister Catherine fainted. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Santa "Ek condom dena, girlfrend ko gift dena hai" Dukaandar : Is par gift cover charha doon? Santa: Arre nahi yehi to cover hai. Gift to mere paas hai. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai. Kyon? Sanata ne sales-girl se kaha: Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ :D

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A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'

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A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :adore:
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A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'
Best Joke I had heard for some time Superb :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" theprofessor asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!" ******************************** Picture Hall Mein Film Chal Rahi Thi Achanak Ek Aurat Ka Bacha Rone Laga To Peeche Se Aawaz Aayi: “Iske Mooh Mein Apna Doodh Daalo” Yeh Sun Ker Aurat Ka Pati Gusse Se Bola: “Koun Hey Oye Dum Hai Toh Samne Aake Bol” Piche Se Phir Aawaz Aayi: “Doosre Wala Iske Mooh Mein Daal Do“ **************************************** Ek Aadmi Garments Ki Dukaan Par Jata Hai Aur Underwear Maangta Hai Shopkeeper Use Underwear Dikhata Hai Aadmi: “Is Underwear Ki Kya Garranty Hai?” Shopkeeper: “20vi Manjil Se Chalang Maar Ke Dekh Lo, G@@nd Phatt Jayegi Per Ye Underwear Nahi Phatega“ ****************************************** Ek Bar Husband Apni Wife Ke Sath Apni Sasural Mein Gaya Ek Din Vahan Husband Ne Biwi Se Kaha: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain” Biwi (sharma kar) Boli: “Nahi Ye Mere Baap Ka Ghar Hai” Husband: To Kya Mere Baap Ka Ghar Red Light Area Hai Jo To Roz Taiyar Ho Jati Hai.

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Ek Aadmi Garments Ki Dukaan Par Jata Hai Aur Underwear Maangta Hai Shopkeeper Use Underwear Dikhata Hai Aadmi: “Is Underwear Ki Kya Garranty Hai?” Shopkeeper: “20vi Manjil Se Chalang Maar Ke Dekh Lo, G@@nd Phatt Jayegi Per Ye Underwear Nahi Phatega“
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" theprofessor asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!" ***************************************** Ek Aadmi Garments Ki Dukaan Par Jata Hai Aur Underwear Maangta Hai Shopkeeper Use Underwear Dikhata Hai Aadmi: “Is Underwear Ki Kya Garranty Hai?” Shopkeeper: “20vi Manjil Se Chalang Maar Ke Dekh Lo, G@@nd Phatt Jayegi Per Ye Underwear Nahi Phatega“
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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These two little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward upstairs. The father "gets the message", and they both get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV we'll be right back, Ok?" The two boys nod 'OK', and the parents take off upstairs. he eldest of the two boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's bedroom and just shakes his head. Back downstairs he goes back to his little brother. "Come with me", he says. And the two little boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, the older brother turns to his brother and says, "Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our asses for sucking our thumbs..." ************************************** This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'Contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. "Carl," she says. Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, beause they're contagious." "Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious," and the teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!" Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class. "Yes, Johnny?" she says. Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbour painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, "O God, it's gonna take that **** ages to finish that fence." *********************************************** A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?", he asked. "Yes, I am." The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said. He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger and said, "Hurts, doesn't it?"

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