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what men want...a virgin bride??


theguyinallblue

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What men want Recent national surveys conducted in India have revealed that more than half of all Indian men still expect the woman they marry to be a virgin. DT explores... photo.cms?msid=816911 Times have changed and so has the man-woman relationship. Women no longer hide behind the veil but walk shoulder to shoulder with men. Yet there are issues on which men still hold on to their old-fashioned beliefs. That?s what recent surveys reveal. A majority of the population of Indian men say they want the woman they marry to be a virgin. Less than a fourth of them say they don?t harbour such expectations. Yet, amazingly, most men also believe that they (the men) should have some sexual experience, so that they don?t look like beginners when they marry! Himanshu Gupta, an faculty member at an engineering college, says, ?If you ask for my frank opinion, then I would definitely want to marry a virgin. Post marriage, if I get to know that my wife was physically involved with someone else earlier, I would spoil the relationship and never be able to trust her. What applies to my partner applies to me as well. I will also not like to indulge in sex with other women before marriage.? However, Abhinav Sharma, an IIT-Delhi student, thinks that this kind of behaviour is outdated. ?This is absurd. That you want to measure your love on the parameters of something as unimportant as virginity. I want to marry the woman I love and I don?t want to even ask her about whether she is a virgin or not.? Rajiv Upadhyaya, a young entrepreneur, adds, ?Most of us come from co-ed schools and have female friends. If I find the right girl, then whether she is a virgin or not would never matter!? Actor Priyanshu Chatterjee thinks that since the majority of Indians still reside in villages, virginity would be a matter of concern. ?If I had to tie the knot, I wouldn?t even dare to ask my woman such a question. I do agree that sex is a part of the equation in a relationship but it is not the only aspect of the equation.? Television actor Abhay Vakil agrees. He says, ?What matters to me is that she should be a good human being and value relationships.? Vakil concludes by asking a basic question: If a woman is not a virgin, whose fault is that? Sociologist Mala Das says, ?I feel there is lot of hypocrisy regarding sex in our country and men dominate the decision making. But I think growing numbers of empowered and educated women are taking a decision not to marry frivolous men. In future, I see women demanding greater sexual liberty.? http://xtraedition.indiatimes.com/Women/What_men_want/articleshow/816726.cms PS: Mods can delete the thread if they find it obscene. :hic: what do people here think ( married and unmarried including girls and women) about this whole issue of virginity considering being in delhi...and watching how bad the scene is ..it would be foolish for a guy to expect his wife to be a virgin when he himself is not.. but think about those guys who keep themselves fresh for their wives..out of compulsion.. :hic: a fast bowler getting a chance to bowl after 15 overs like pollock paneer..today.. :hic: best thing for the girls and guys imo will be to never discuss this issue.. no knowledge ..no confusion..

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? In my opinion, and experience, there is little difference between guys and girls when it comes to sex. They both enjoy it much. However guys somehow seem to "overstate" their sexuality, saying(or claiming) at times things which they have not done while girls on the other hand "understate" it, refusing to admit things that may have actually happened. A big mystery for me has always been the fact that in almost all such surveys it shows up that say 90% of the guys have had pre-marital sex while only 20% of the girls have had the same experience! It is no different in West where you would have guys suggesting they have had 8-10 sexual partners in their lives while girls would claim to have much less number of partners. So who exactly are the guys sleeping with? Hopefully not with each other... :roll: Goes back to guys overstating their sexuality and girls understating it. Personally I dont worry much about it. I mean why worry about something thats not within your control?? One can only control/not control his own virginity, hardly of anyone else. xxxx

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Guest dada_rocks

Re: what men want...a virgin bride??

In my opinion, and experience, there is little difference between guys and girls when it comes to sex. They both enjoy it much. However guys somehow seem to "overstate" their sexuality, saying(or claiming) at times things which they have not done while girls on the other hand "understate" it, refusing to admit things that may have actually happened. A big mystery for me has always been the fact that in almost all such surveys it shows up that say 90% of the guys have had pre-marital sex while only 20% of the girls have had the same experience! It is no different in West where you would have guys suggesting they have had 8-10 sexual partners in their lives while girls would claim to have much less number of partners. So who exactly are the guys sleeping with? Hopefully not with each other... :roll: Goes back to guys overstating their sexuality and girls understating it. Personally I dont worry much about it. I mean why worry about something thats not within your control?? One can only control/not control his own virginity, hardly of anyone else. xxxx
:wtg: :wtg: bull's eye......
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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Don't ask Indian men about sex. They start blushing straightaway, and it's quite clear they know jackshyte. Worse then females, they are. Lying prone on top of Aunty Sheila for 5 minutes while making funny noises and trying to figure out where the damn thing goes in...that's about it for most of the guys. No wonder they want to marry virgins. They would be found out in a minute by a real girl.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Might be hypocritical, but I could only have married a virgin. Imagine the woman you give your life to, the mother of your future children being that intimate with someone else, regardless of the situation which led to it (whether she was in love, or just wanted to see what shagging was like)... Even if it was way before she even knew you, it's not cool... For an Indian girl to lose her virginity before marriage, it shows: 1) She has no respect for the sanctity or concept of marriage, 2) She is highly likely to cheat on you, as she felt the need to have pre-marital sex, despite the risks of shame/beatings... Imagine guys walking around, knowing what it's like to screw your wife, and having got there before you. I could never live like that, and yes, I did ask before I got married (but tactfully)... When dating a girl, it didn't matter to me whether she was a virgin or a whore, but marriage is a different game altogether...

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Thats highly hypocritical mate, i think u've had sexual relationships with more then 1 women in ur life, while you expect her not to have had any such relationships cause that makes her prone to in ur words 1) She has no respect for the sanctity or concept of marriage, 2) She is highly likely to cheat on you, as she felt the need to have pre-marital sex, despite the risks of shame/beatings... doesnt that work the other way as well. You also dont have respect towards sanctity or concept of marraige and that you are also very very likely to cheat. Ur basically sayin its ok for me to shag b4 marraige but not her. Not fair mate not fair at all.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Personally i dont mind if she's virgin or not. Thats immaterial. Wat matters is her, me and our love which if pure and not ridden with lust will make sure we understand the full sanctity of marraige and are never likely to cheat on each other.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride??

Lying prone on top of Aunty Sheila for 5 minutes while making funny noises and trying to figure out where the damn thing goes in...that's about it for most of the guys.
Dhondy, That cuts both ways. How is the man supposed to know what "works" for a woman when the woman herself does not know? Surely when it comes to the acts "when light goes off" it should be a very open thingy. But here is where may lie the catch. If the guy doesnt know much he may be thought of as "budhoo" by the girl(or so us guys fear)..and if the girl says much she would be thought as "experienced" by the guys(or so the girls fear). Either way you are screwed, pun intentional :hmph: xxx
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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Don, I believe it should be the same for men and women, and I admit I have made retarded mistakes in my youth that I would go back and change if I could. I'm sure a lot of women feel that way too, but like I said, if it makes me a hypocrite, so be it... If a woman can give herself to guys who she's not married to, she's not worth marrying, same with guys too, I just got lucky I guess... I just couldn't marry someone who'd done it before. I've seen guys laugh at guys married to women that were known to screw around at Uni...

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? The woman you marry may not be a virgin...but not necessarily because she's slept around with others. You may be the fella responsible. Would you respect her any less in that case? My problem with such debates is the hypocrisy that's involved. Here in the west, there's a lot of sleeping around, and people are not afraid to admit it. In our country, men want unspoiled virgins, but are not averse to having a few flings outside their marriage if they get half a chance, while expecting the wife to remain faithful. That kind of moral bankruptcy nauseates me. I'd rather live in an openly promiscuous society.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? It doesn't matter who's virgin and not. It has no bearing on the marriage life and both will get on just fine as long as they like each other. Having sex prior marriage does not mean you lost your mojo or anything. It is one of those things that is to be enjoyed at the right age. Any intercourse prior the age of 20 pretty much doesn't count :hic: I can't think from the psyche of the participants in the poll. In fact the poll itself is a useless excercise IMO.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride??

You also dont have respect towards sanctity or concept of marraige and that you are also very very likely to cheat.
On the contrary, the fact that his wife has not slept around means that he is more likely to have a greater respect for his partner and not cheat!
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Re: what men want...a virgin bride??

My problem with such debates is the hypocrisy that's involved. Here in the west, there's a lot of sleeping around, and people are not afraid to admit it. In our country, men want unspoiled virgins, but are not averse to having a few flings outside their marriage if they get half a chance, while expecting the wife to remain faithful.
True that Dhondy. But thats not entirely due to male, is it? Like I mentioned before if guys overplay their "conquests", girls refuse to admit their "surrender". In my opinion the worrying part is how the females look at the issue(not trying to do a blame game here". Look at it this way, if our sisters turn out a little racy(not meaning sexually but even if she has tons of boyfriends) we would be up in arms, in certain society people go for honor killing even. However if the guys are racy somehow that seems to go very well for their sisters? I mean I am yet to meet a guy who is proud of his sisters "popularity" but I have met many girls who are certainly not ashamed of their brothers Billboard chart topping antics. I say if guys want virgin why not the girls? Surely the fight for that has to come from them? If not then even that is hypocracy. xxx
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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Another thing to consider is in India there are lots of arranged marraiges Now in that sorta marraiges u would hardly be in love with your wouldbe wife, then it is understandable that you would atleast want a virgin bride. U dont wanna end up with someone u dont love and someone who'se dunnit all. (like shes used to bigger ones then wat u have :lmao: )

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? To answer that, Lurker, yes she may feel proud of her brother's attractiveness, but will not condone sleeping around. More importantly, she will not marry a man known to be lightfooted, shall we say. I find it difficult to believe otherwise.

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? the thing is..women can never fail in bed..most of the time...even if they are batting for the first time... its man..who takes up the moral responsibility to "perform" ..and they think they need practice before the final match... men think women don't need practice....so they need to be virgin... can't say about women though..if they would want their husband to be virgin?? i think as along as the man remains committed to the relationship with his wife... she would not mind..even if he had pre marital affairs... this is how the thinking goes... as long as all is forgotten....before marriage..all is fine for women...

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? I'd like all of you to imagine that you found out that your Mothers had been that intimate with men other than your fathers. Imagine how that would change your perceptions of your mothers. Imagine your feelings. Now tell me, why would you want to have kids and put them through that? Raj is right, had I married a non-virgin, I'd have felt more likely to cheat, as I'd have kind of felt cheated on myself. Truthfully, since I've been engaged, I've never looked at any other woman in that way, and have felt guilty for even talking too much to other women, even though I'm not coming on to them. This is down to what I feel I owe my wife...

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Re: what men want...a virgin bride?? Dal and Raj, I understand your thought processes, I never thought about that, in that light. But I still reckon it depends on the individual If hes likely to cheat or not regardless of his or her wifes virginity b4 the marraige.

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