Why Apple must be stopped

[Desi Cartman]

I'M SICK to death of this constant pressure to upgrade. We've all been sucked into a consumer frenzy where we have to have the latest gadget with the latest apps. And then in about six months' time we get the new version of the latest electronic gizmo, throw the one aside we just bought, and line up somewhere to buy the next big thing. Apple is the worst, with a constant stream of newfangled products to amaze and entice us. It seems a month hardly goes by without Steve Jobs standing in front of an audience of adoring geeks saying something like ''this will change the way we do things forever''. Yeah right, Jobs, you still can't believe that playing Pong on your Commodore 64 in 1979 led you to such greatness. It's like Revenge of the Nerds on a mass scale. Computers won't control the world, but the nerds who know how to work them will. Oh no, don't bag Apple. Well, I'm writing this on an Apple powerbook and bag them I will. But they invented the iPod? Yeah and what is that? It's just an updated Sony Walkman, which I was quite happy with. But who would be seen with a Walkman these days? Maybe if you were going to a retro fancy dress party. Even Apple itself is on to this constant pressure to upgrade. With the introduction of the iPhone 4 it said in a slogan ''This changes everything. Again.'' Yeah, again is right. I'm just getting used to my iPhone and I have to change again? Can't they just stop at one? Where were all these great ideas and cameras and crap in the original iPhone? Did the first batch leave the warehouse and the inventors say, ''Oh but we had so much more to add.'' Don't worry guys, you've got at least three more versions where you can add all the features you like. And there's millions of suckers out there who'll buy them. Then there's the iPad. When I see grown men carrying one, it looks like a midget carrying an iPhone. Except the iPad can't make phone calls. So what does it do? Oh you don't understand, it's the connection between a laptop and a phone. No, that's called a wire. Well, I for one am saying no more! Call me Amish, or a Luddite, but I am resisting the iPhone 4, the iPad, the iCar - don't worry, it's coming, along with the Googlemobile. In fact, anything with an ''i'' in front of it, I'm avoiding. Because I must admit I did once buy a vacuum cleaner called the iVac. No, this is true. I recently had to throw it out, cause it iSucked! And not in the way it was meant to. You see, I've got a history of resisting. I've still got my big chunky TV I bought at the closing down sale of Brashes in 1996. You can jam your plasma flat screen that threatens to topple over and crush the kiddies, my TV works just fine, thank you. Which of course is wired up to my fabulous Beta video machine. And yes, that is my horse and cart out the front. It too works fine. This whole upgrading thing is a sickness that affects all of society. No one is happy with their place in this world. In my parents' day, you married, bought a house and stayed in the same job and the same place for the next 50 years. And they were happy, I think. OK, a lot of them are divorced now, and have joined swingers' clubs, but that's my point exactly. Everyone is selling their suburban block, moving into apartments in Docklands, downsizing and upgrading at the same time. And celebrities set a bad example. Like Tom Cruise, a man who has upgraded his wife several times, on each upgrade going to a younger woman. I fear for wife number four, who at this point is probably just finishing high school and not aware of Tom's affections. And then there's the constant upgrading of their faces - peels, nips, tucks and Botox. Demi Moore surely must be up to Demi 4.0 by now. It's sad, because with all my resisting I fear my house and person are soon going to resemble an attraction at Sovereign Hill. People will come for miles to observe me doing ye olde things, like buying food with cash at the shop. They'll all snigger when I go to fax something and laugh out loud when I pick up my home phone to make a call. ''It's got a wire attached!'' someone will guffaw. I won't dare get out my hand mower for fear of heart attacks from my audience. So maybe it is time to get with the 21st century and embrace all this new technology. So I'm now changing my name by deed poll, I'll now be known as iDave. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. I expect to be upgraded in about three weeks. Dave O'Neil is a Melbourne comedian, broadcaster with Classic Rock 91.5FM, and a fan of the landline. I found it so funny :cantstop:

[Rajiv]

Public Mangta Hain to Log Banata Hain

[bhanu]

Apple is a unstoppable giant now

[moumotta]

Public Mangta Hain to Log Banata Hain

In this age of marketing its more like product banata hai phir demand banata hai.

[IKnowU]

I feel apple are shooting themselves in the foot by releasing a new iphone every year. In a couple of years everyone will get over the Apple hungama with their constant release of products whether it be ipod, ipod touch, ipad or iphones. They need to give a bit of gap between releasing products imo.