Ojha's missed opportunity, and Pakistan's new awards

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While everyone is rightly celebrating the spirited display by the New Zealand bowlers and the rousing fightback from VVS Laxman and Harbhajan Singh in the recently concluded Ahmedabad Test, do spare a thought for poor young Pragyan Ojha, who was left tragically stranded on 9 not out when his partner, Sreesanth, nicked one to the wicketkeeper to end India's heroic second-innings resistance - depriving the young spinner of a well deserved 12. "I was looking forward to completing my dozen, but unfortunately Sree could not stay and support me. However, personal milestones are not so important. I'm just happy that I could help my team achieve a resounding, authoritative and comprehensive draw," said Ojha, who had also narrowly missed out on his dozen in the first innings, being dismissed in the nervous 11s. "I only have two 12s in my career so far, but in this match I had the chance to complete the feat of getting one in each innings. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. I know I have the ability - I just have to be patient, and the runs will come," he added wistfully. Skipper MS Dhoni had kind words for his young team-mate. "The reason we didn't declare was to give Ojha a chance to get to his 12, since the match was heading for a draw anyway. Besides, it was the kind of match in which people did totally unexpected things - Bhajji hit a hundred, Chris Martin took a fifer outside New Zealand, Ross Taylor got a few wickets, and the BCCI temporarily felt the UDRS was a good idea. So there was every chance that Pragyan would have got a dozen, and we needed to support him. Maybe next time." In a move to boost the sagging morale of Pakistan cricket, the PCB has announced that they will be constituting some new awards for Pakistani cricketers, along the lines of Australia's glamorous and prestigious Allan Border Medal. A spokesman for the PCB announced that some of the awards being considered are the MoYo YoYo award for the player who bounces back most often from assorted bans and retirements, the Boromir-Faramir Trophy for the player who looks most like Shahid Afridi playing a character from a fantasy epic, and the Mohammad "My Hakim's Dog Ate My Homework" Asif medal for the most outlandishly ludicrous excuse of the year. "We felt that if we can't do things that need to be rewarded, we might as well reward the things that we do," said the spokesman philosophically. "Winners never quit and quitters never win. You can be a Centurion at Auckland, but you can't be an Auckland at Centurion. Moises Henrriques can have his comeback hopes dashed, but James Hopes can't... you get the picture," he added, following through on the pattern. While the Indian cricket team is relatively injury-free for the series, the commentary team is struggling to find replacements for its wounded warriors. According to reports, Arun Lal is suffering from a pulled beard muscle, Simon Doull is down with a case of high anonymity, and Sreenivasan Radhakrishnan has been diagnosed with a horrifying condition known only as "being Sreenivasan Radhakrishnan". This has put broadcasters in a spot, as they struggle to find replacements. "We are committed to providing non-stop commentary, sometimes grating, sometimes listless and always useless - so that our viewers can continue to experience unparallelled delight when they press the mute button on their TV remotes. Without annoying commentators to turn off, muting, now an essential part of the Indian cricket-watching television experience, will just not be the same," said a channel executive, causing more bewilderment than all Chris Gayle's interviews put together. We wanted to end this piece with the obligatory Zulqarnain Haider joke, but we had no idea where to locate it.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/page2/content/story/486437.html

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Sreenivasan Radhakrishnan has been diagnosed with a horrifying condition known only as "being Sreenivasan Radhakrishnan"

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