apocalypse Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 An old man marries a young woman, and though they are in love, the wife cannot achieve an org@sm. They ask a psychiatrist for advice. He says, hire a strapping young man. While you are making love, have him wave a towel over your bodies. The couple are so desperate, so they hire a male escort to wave a towel. But despite a lengthy lovemaking session, the wife still cannot get off. Willing to try anything, the husband and the strapping young stallion switch positions. The guy goes to work, and the wife quickly has an earthshaking org@sm. The husband smiles and says triumphantly, You see, young fella? Thats how you wave a towel!? --------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. As luck would have it, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow.' 'Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes,' he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage his private parts. She then asked him, 'How does that feel?' 'It feels great,' he replied, 'but my thumb still hurts like hell.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Island in his Popemobile when suddenly he noticed a frantic commotion just off shore. There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President Bush, quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then, using baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Cheney, "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," Cheney replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom." "Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about Texas shark fishing... how's the bait holding up?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesiChap Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Re: Monday's Bag :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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