THE WTF news of the day thread

[The Outsider]

I read this in the print media a long time back in India. A guy got killed while driving his scooter on a runway and the plane hit him. Apparently, he was learning how to drive and found the traffic less air strip quite inviting.

[yoda]

In recent weeks, Ms. Rowling has reportedly received letters from people asking her to reveal the ending of the seventh book because their terminally-ill relative may not live until Saturday. PTI

:giggle:

[Gambit]

Dolphin voyeurs kill the mood for saucy submariners Monday Jul 16 14:00 AEST Some of the world's richest people are reportedly using their private submarines to indulge in deep-sea sex in front of panoramic marine vistas. But these aquatic trysts are sometimes interrupted by groups of voyeuristic dolphins, which excitedly tap on windows with their beaks. One of the world's top designers of luxury subs, US Submarines president Bruce Jones, told Bloomberg that dolphins were a problem for the amorous owners of his multi-million dollar vessels. "Dolphins are easily excited when they sense people making love. They get jealous and bang their noses against the window," Mr Jones said. The best solution was to block the dolphins out with a set of curtains, he said. Another top designer, Herve Jaubert of Dubai-based Exomos, told Bloomberg his clients wrestled "with how to conduct a deep-sea love affair in front of an observation window without creating an underwater paparazzi". Around 100 luxury submarines are believed to be submerged in the world's oceans, but it is not known who owns the majority of these undersea palaces. Russian billionaire Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abramovich has a submarine, as does Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=278856

[Lurker]

^^ I wonder if the Dolphins giggle when they catch couples in ahmmm, I mean they always have this weird smiling face dont they?

[Holysmoke]

With Harry Potter's worldwide success, world-renowned magician PC Sorcar has planned to start Hogwarts-type school of witchcraft and wizardry in India. Amid enormous craze for the art of magic sweeping through India with the release of the fifth Harry Potter movie The Order of the Phoenix, world-renowned magician PC Sorcar junior has announced his plans to start a master degree in 'Dramagic', which will help pupils learn the closely guarded secrets of his 2,000-year-old craft. The 61-year-old magician's version of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will be an affiliate of the government-run Visva-Bharati University in West Bengal. The course is expected to begin next year. Sorcar will teach students the tricks perfected by his family over eight generations-such as pulling a horse out of an empty bag, vanishing after being sealed in a box crushed by a road-roller and cycling through London and San Francisco with his eyes bandaged and plastered. He insists on the need to mop up the prevailing misunderstanding about the Indian magic among people. "Harry Potter has made magic popular in the world. A magic school will be able to attract many people. Indian magic is a misunderstood art. People think it's a rabbit out of a hat. I want to prove that wrong", Times Online quoted him as saying. Sorcar is planning to employ street performers or 'madaris' to teach students their trade at his institute. "The 2,000-year-old craft of street magicians was passed on through word of mouth before. It would be a loss for Indian magic if this art was not preserved", he said. http://lifestyle.indiatimes.com/quickiearticleshow/msid-2209954.cms

[Holysmoke]

BRISBANE, Australia -- Rugby player Ben Czislowski kept competing for more than three months despite the headaches that started after a clash with an opponent. Czislowski was playing for Brisbane team Wynnum during the April 1 incident involving Tweed Heads forward Matt Austin. He had a head wound stitched up afterward, the Australian Associated Press reported Tuesday. Czislowski later suffered an eye infection and complained of lethargy and shooting pains in his head. Then last week, his doctor found a tooth embedded in Czislowski's head. "I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs," Czislowski said. "I've got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table," he said. "If he [Austin] wants it back he can have it. I'm keeping it at the moment as proof that it actually happened."

[varun]

:hysterical: @ the dolphin story. Couldn't they make a one-way mirror kinda glass for the luxury subs ? :P

[Guest dada_rocks]

Thief-mosque wtf Didarganj (Patna), July 18: Noori Baba was no Mumtaz Mahal. Neither had he got a relationship with someone like Shah Jahan. Certainly, the great thief of his time could ever think of a monument being dedicated to him, like the Taj Mahal, and that too by a king appreciating a challenging feat of theft. Passers-by along the NH-30 — connecting Patna with Barh — would not even notice this dilapidated mazaar at Didarganj check-post, about 20km from here. Those with religious inclination generally stop here for a while to rue the status of the 300-year-old mazaar, locally known as “chorba masjid” (mosque of the thief). It is, however, not known whether thieves in and around the Bihar capital visit this mazaar like lovers across the world would want to make a memorable trip to the Taj to click a picture on the lovers’ seat! “Just because it is called chorba masjid does not mean that thieves come here,” said Hafiz Mastan Islamuddin, the only caretaker at the mazaar of Hazrat Noorshah Baba Rahamatullah Alaih — popularly known as Noori Baba — for the past 20 years. Islamuddin, dressed in a green chonga and sporting garlands of beads and coloured stones, has no hesitation in accepting that he has been serving “a pir of thieves and hoodlums”. Incidentally, he found two knives near the mazaar about six months ago. Clarifying that it is not a mosque, the 50-year-old said that Baba Rahamatullah or Noori Baba was such a great thief that nobody could ever get hold of him. Islamuddin, who remains unmarried and left his ancestral home at Manersharif, explained how the mazaar came up. The myth goes something like this: the king (name not known to anybody) of then Nasirpur-Tajpur (now Didarganj) challenged Rahamatullah to dare a theft in his palace. Rahamatullah had accepted the challenge to commit it within seven days amid foolproof security saying “main to aankhon se kajal chura sakta hoon (I can steal collyrium from one’s eyes)”. After seven days when no theft was reported at the palace, Rahamatullah was produced before the king to withdraw his claim. While narrating this, Islamuddin takes a deep puff to conclude with great pride: “Rahamatullah produced a gold bangle he had stolen from the queen’s hand. The queen was seen wearing just one bangle much to everyone’s disbelief.” The king was greatly happy at the thief’s act and asked him to keep the gold bangle. Rahamatullah returned the bangle and wanted the king to construct a monument after his death. And thus came the chorba masjid, now a landmark for Didarganj. Local residents said though the mazaar gets good visitors, including VIPs, nobody thought of repairing the tomb, broken to half some 50 years ago. An 8ftx8ft cement roof over the mazaar is the only protection. Mohammed Firoz, a local electrician, said: “The area is not theft-prone. We have no idea whether criminals come here from adjoining places.”

[Gambit]

Anger at Kenya donkey nappy plan By Michael Kaloki BBC News, Limuru A kick is often the answer to putting a nappy on a donkey Donkey owners in the Kenyan town of Limuru are up in arms over an order from the municipal authorities that their animals must wear nappies. The council said the measure would come into effect on 16 July to ensure the town's streets are kept clean. But recent press coverage and outrage from the town's residents has led the authorities to put their plans on hold. "If we have to put nappies on our donkeys, soon they will say our cows need them too," one donkey owner said. Limuru's mayor, James Kuria, says: "We must come up with a way to make sure that the droppings are not a nuisance." Another donkey owner, Kimani Gathugu, who lives in the town some 50km north-west of the capital, Nairobi, says the measure is not practical and the council would do better to employ more street sweepers. Fatal kick Noting the vital role played by donkeys in the community, he says: "Donkeys are very important. Not many people have cars in the area and the donkeys serve as a mode of transport." The council itself has workers. They can do the sweeping John Kinyanjui Limuru resident Read your comments Another resident, John Kinyanjui, says: "The council itself has workers. They can do the sweeping. We are paying taxes." Water trader Simon Kamau, who uses donkeys to transport water to his clients utters: "In all the three years I have been in this business, I have never tied a nappy on a donkey. "The problem is that the donkey can give you a fatal kick. I was once kicked by a donkey and it broke my leg. "What the council should do is come to us traders and show us how to tie the nappies on the donkeys," Mr Kamau says Mr Kuria though seems determined to push on with his plan. "I have heard that in some areas where they keep donkeys, they also have nappies," he said. "We will go to these areas and see how they do it and come back and show our people how to do it. We want the people to earn a living but at the same time we must keep our town clean."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6902309.stm :hysterical:

[Gambit]

Inmates at some Philippines prison enact Thriller hMnk7lh9M3o :whatchutalkingabout

[suma25]

No puran poli? Divorce! By: Vinod Kumar Menon July 22, 2007 A techie, 25 years old and working for a reputed IT firm, has filed for divorce after just three months of marriage. Reason: his wife cannot make puran poli. A charted accountant, under 30 years of age, has filed for divorce. Reason: his name was not printed in the wedding card of his wife’s brother. A lawyer has filed for divorce. Reason: her husband came home very late on the wedding night and refused to undergo an HIV test. Increasingly, a number of divorces taking place amongst educated youth are for the flimsiest of reasons. A city psychologist says that the trend is being seen amongst urban couples have very less patience. Stress is the biggest reason for the breakdown of marriages. She adds, “Many times, the couple themselves are not sure about the reason for filing the divorce application. It is only during the counseling session that they come up with silly reasons.” Ego clashes Advocate Tara Hegde, president of the bar association, family court, confirms that there is an increase in divorce applications filed by young educated professionals for the silliest of reasons. The family court receives over 40 applications daily, either for settlement, divorce or for maintenance. Most applicants are newly married or fall in the time frame of 1-5 years of marriage. Statistical studies show that more than 85 per cent of marriages break down within the first five years of matrimony. Ego clashes are seen as the prime problem amongst most young couples, who find it difficult to cope with both professional and family expectations. And most young professionals of both genders give prime preference to their jobs and office work. They seldom find time for family, pointed out a marriage counselor who did not wished to be named. Marrying in haste ”The new generation lacks the capacity of making adjustments and building relationships. Also differences in culture, attitudes, values and expectations cause mal-adjustments between spouses,” says a marriage counselor. Advocate Hegde, attached to the family court for over two decades, observes that in the last few years, there has been an increase in the number of young girls (between 18 and above) who elope with their lovers and get secretly married. But they soon return to their parents, bringing them in tow when they file for divorce. “There have also been instances of women using provisions under the law to harass their husbands to seek maximum compensation or out of court settlements,” says Hegde. 13,000 cases pending All divorce and maintenance cases are dealt in the family court under the provisions of the Family Court Act 1984. The family court in Bandra started in October 1989, and as many as 13,000 cases are pending at present, says a judicial officer, attached to the court. A study was conducted by marriage counsellors working at the family courts in Maharashtra a few years ago to comprehend the reasons behind divorce cases. The data collected from Mumbai, Pune, Aurangabad and Nagpur family courts showed a drastic number of divorce cases, mostly filed by couples between the age 20-35 years. Lawyers practicing at the family court say that the number of women filing for divorce are more than men. Fraud, drug addiction, sexual abuse The study revealed that nearly 75 per cent of the reasons behind filing for divorce were due to social causes (sexual abuse by relatives of husband, fraud during the marriage etc), 20 per cent is due to psychological cause (drug addiction, womanising, adamant nature etc) and the balance five per cent is biological causes (infertility, illness etc). Many marital disputes are caused by meddling in-laws from both sides and women mostly find it more difficult to adjust. Dowry demands also crops up as a strong bone of contention. Unemployed husbands or those who can’t keep down a job add to blow-ups over finances. Alcohol and addictions add to the tension, which result in physical and mental harassment. Many times, girls and boys get forced into marriage by their parents and aren’t ready for it. In some cases, adjusting with a child creates problems, while the couples’ sex lives also play havoc. Work at it Young couples seem to get married in haste. Counsellors say that they need to understand marital relationships, expectations from each other and responsibilities. The family court has also started an emotional counseling center to assist couples to cope with their problems. ]

weird this...

[Gambit]

:hysterical: @ puran poli

Going Blind Justice Florida inmate convicted for pleasuring self in cell JULY 25--In a verdict that could chill lonely inmates everywhere, a jury today convicted a Florida inmate for masturbating in the privacy of his Ft. Lauderdale cell. After deliberating for only 45 minutes, a Broward County panel found Terry Lee Alexander, 20, guilty of indecent exposure for an episode last November. According to investigators, a female guard--who was monitoring Alexander's cell from a jail control room--spotted Alexander pleasuring himself while seated on his bunk. At the time, he was jailed on auto theft and gun raps (Alexander subsequently pleaded guilty to the felony raps and was sentenced to ten years in prison). Alexander, pictured in the below mug shot, was sentenced to 60 days in custody for today's indecent exposure conviction, though the time will be served concurrently with his lengthier sentence. No, you'll get no jokes from us about the penal system, doing "hard time," Alexander behaving like a jerk, or how his lawyer failed to get him off. (3 pages)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0725071lee1.html

[Gambit]

Oscar the Cat Predicts Patients' Deaths By RAY HENRY, Associated Press Writer Thursday, July 26, 2007 (07-26) 01:27 PDT Providence, R.I. (AP) -- Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live. "He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die," said Dr. David Dosa in an interview. He describes the phenomenon in a poignant essay in Thursday's issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. "Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one," said Dosa, a geriatrician and assistant professor of medicine at Brown University. The 2-year-old feline was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. The facility treats people with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and other illnesses. After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours. Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. "This is not a cat that's friendly to people," he said. Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there, said Dr. Joan Teno of Brown University, who treats patients at the nursing home and is an expert on care for the terminally ill She was convinced of Oscar's talent when he made his 13th correct call. While observing one patient, Teno said she noticed the woman wasn't eating, was breathing with difficulty and that her legs had a bluish tinge, signs that often mean death is near. Oscar wouldn't stay inside the room though, so Teno thought his streak was broken. Instead, it turned out the doctor's prediction was roughly 10 hours too early. Sure enough, during the patient's final two hours, nurses told Teno that Oscar joined the woman at her bedside. Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don't know he's there, so patients aren't aware he's a harbinger of death. Most families are grateful for the advanced warning, although one wanted Oscar out of the room while a family member died. When Oscar is put outside, he paces and meows his displeasure. No one's certain if Oscar's behavior is scientifically significant or points to a cause. Teno wonders if the cat notices telltale scents or reads something into the behavior of the nurses who raised him. Nicholas Dodman, who directs an animal behavioral clinic at the Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine and has read Dosa's article, said the only way to know is to carefully document how Oscar divides his time between the living and dying. If Oscar really is a furry grim reaper, it's also possible his behavior could be driven by self-centered pleasures like a heated blanket placed on a dying person, Dodman said. Nursing home staffers aren't concerned with explaining Oscar, so long as he gives families a better chance at saying goodbye to the dying. Oscar recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his "compassionate hospice care."

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/07/25/national/a141306D42.DTL&tsp=1 Dr. David Dosa :hysterical:

[yoda]

that's one deadly cat.

[varun]

damnn.. grim reaper indeed. Though I'd prefer mine in this form to curl up next to me:

[Lurker]

^^ Does she come complete with a flag?? Should I hoist this one this Independence Day:D

[Mandrake]

Simarharleen Singh of Jalandhar claims that he is the proud owner of 86 special SIM cards for which he has shelled out Rs 1.5 crore (TOI Photo)

CHANDIGARH: If you thought that status stood redefined with one Amit Malhotra of Ludhiana buying India's most expensive cellphone number ever — 97800-00000 from Hutch at a mind-numbing Rs 15.5 lakh — then think again. For, another Punjab man, Simarharleen Singh of Jalandhar, claimed on Friday that he is the proud owner of 86 special SIM cards for which he has shelled out Rs 1.5 crore. This, he claims is his favourite hobby. As a matter of fact, Singh, vice-chairman of Imperial Bank in Jalandhar, was also bidding on Thursday for the number that went to Ludhiana's Malhotra. He quoted Rs 10 lakh for it, Rs 5.5 lakh less than Malhotra. Singh claims to pay the monthly bills for all the SIMs he possesses, but keeps only a dozen operational at a time. The 29-year-old banker recalls how his passion for the platinum series — the special or 'VIP' numbers released by service providers — grew five years back after a friend complimented him for his mobile number 98143-00017 as it was simple to remember. "It was then I decided to accumulate special numbers. Soon, my collection of such numbers will cross 100, may be within a week," he says. He looks forward to writing to the compilers of the Guinness Book of World Records once he's scored this unusual century. Singh manages all the numbers with calculated efficiency. Anyone who calls will be answered on any one of his 86 numbers. He diverts all incoming calls to his latest number on his mobile. "With this diversion, I can answer to people calling any of my numbers through my trendy Nokia handset," he says, while refusing to disclose how much he coughed up for the mobile phone. The service providers can bank on this unusal banker for hassle-free payment of bills which run into tens of thousands of rupees. "They get deducted on my credit card," he says. While no single service provider can possibly lay claim over this flashy customer, sources with different service providers say he is one of their most respected clients who is ensured the best services. The zeroes that get added to his monthly rentals certainly help.

[Rajiv]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/07/25/national/a141306D42.DTL&tsp=1 Dr. David Dosa :hysterical:

oops,. I just posted that article Spent 2 years in Providence, RI. It was famous for that dancing cop and now this cat

[Gambit]

****ing loony.

I'll go to jail in Sanjay's place, says a fan Mumbai: Century Bazaar in Worli was the site of the deadliest of the 1993 serial blasts. It killed 113 people and while actor Sanjay Dutt's friends and fans may be rooting for him on Tuesday, for the survivors of the blasts whose family members were taken away from them, the wounds still run too deep, and six years is not enough. “He should have got more, so that other big stars learn a lesson from it,” said a blast victim's brother, Vinayak Devrukhkar. Among the 113 casualties in Worli were Vinayak Devrukhkar's 11-year-old brother, and 21-year-old sister. His father is a broken man and Dutt's verdict is too little, too late. “They say he was shaking in the courtroom, and sweat was streaming down his face. But what about the tears that we were shedding all these years?” asked Devrukhkar. But the actor's staunch fans are shedding tears for a different reason. Their beloved Sunju baba, they say, has suffered enough. “Yes, I am ready to go in his place (to jail),” said a fan. “The punishment was required, but six years is too harsh,” said another. “How can you make him do six years just for possessing a gun?” asked yet another. Justice often has two faces and as the longest trial in Indian history comes to a close. What is now paramount for both sides is the sense of closure it brings with it.

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/ill-go-to-jail-in-sanjays-place-says-a-fan/45976-3.html

[suma25]

^^ not surprising these fans had to come out sooner or later what is suprising though none of the actors fanclubs havent staretd protesting yet....