Why Indian kids are the worst behaved

[Gambit]

Honey, I lost the kids (I think the brats parachuted) Pursuits | Vir Sanghvi Do we have the worst-behaved children in the world or what? I'm writing this column on a long-haul flight. Across the aisle from me is a British father, travelling with his seven-year-old daughter. I have watched with astonishment how, over the last seven hours, the girl has not misbehaved once. She has read a book, she has peered at the in-flight entertainment, she has made conversation with her father and she has consumed her airline meal without dropping either the food or the fork. In the cabin behind mine, however, are several Indian children, some about the same age as this well-behaved little Brit and others in the 9-11 age group. Within half an hour of take-off, they have begun screaming and shouting, running up and down the aisle, colliding with the cabin crew and harassing other passengers. Some of this is just annoying, but occasionally it can be disturbing. I woke up from a light sleep to hear one child loudly telling the other: Dont open the door. You cant do that while the plane is flying. Christ, I thought to myself, these brats are unwitting suicide bombers. Through it all, the parents have either looked on indulgently or, weighed down as they are with too many handbags, polythene sacks of duty-free purchases and the debris of lunch, have shrugged helplessly. As far as they are concerned, none of this is their problem. I am as patriotic as the next man and as unwilling to believe that Indians are worse than foreigners in any respect. But on this score, Im quite willing to lower the tricolour and put up the white flag of surrender. Theres no doubt that we allow our kids to get away with much more than foreigners do. We are much less concerned when they inconvenience other people. And we take the line that their age exempts them from all norms of socially acceptable behaviour.More to the point, this is true of most Indian children, no matter where they are resident. If you are on a flight back from the US, the NRI kids will be the ones throwing orange juice at other passengers while the American children sit peacefully. Its the same at restaurants and other public places. Many of us have an advantage over people with similar jobs in the West: We can hire maids to look after our kids when we go out. Despite this, too many parents insist on bringing very small children to late dinners at expensive restaurants. Given that they can afford to eat at these restaurants, they can probably afford domestic help as well. But no, we will have to have our dinner interrupted as Pappu and Pinky keep running to the door or as Bunty cries loudly, shouting Mujhe butterscotch ice cream chahiye. Surely, it cant be good for the kids to be out that late? And cant Bunty have his bloody butterscotch at home? A friend of mine was enjoying a quiet dinner with her boyfriend at a Delhi pizza place when the children from the next table began invading their space and wrecking their dinner. Politely but firmly, she asked the mother if she could possibly keep her kids from hassling her table. Rather than offer any apology, the mother turned viciously on her. I am sure you are the kind of woman who has no children of your own, she snarled. Thats why you are complaining. What is it with us? Why dont we recognize that as much as we love Chunnu, Munnu, Pappu, Bunty or Pinky, the rest of the world is under no obligation to regard them with similar indulgence? Worst of all is the feeling of entitlement that prosperous parents have.They believe that because they are rich, their kids have the right to do whatever they feel like. Its a funny thing but the children of less-wealthy or poor parents never behave quite as badly as the children of the rich. Perhaps this is because the social inequalities of India mean that their parents themselves lack the confidence to cause a stir in public places. But rich kidsthey are even worse than their parents. I have now come to the reluctant conclusion that no matter how much people such as me rant and rave, Indian parents will simply not manage their children better. And as the new prosperity creates newer millionaires, there will be more badly behaved children nearly everywhere we go. So, I think the time has come to impose some rules. Children under the age of 14 should be banned from these places: All restaurants at dinner. If a restaurant wishes to welcome kids, then it should announce that it is child-friendly or whatever, so that the rest of us can stay away. This is an international practice, so there should be no problem about adopting it in India. All movie halls during shows that start after 7pm. Im sorry if that means that young mothers will have to forgo seeing their favourite movies because they cant bring Chunnu and Munnu along. But they can always rent the DVD later. Aeroplanes pose a particular problem because the little brats have to travel, somehow or the other. But I think that on long-haul flights, they should have a designated cabin for families travelling with children. And they should ensure that Pappu doesnt open the plane door as a prank. Does this make me an intolerant fascist? Possibly. But I speak as the father of a son who followed all these rules when he was young. And if my brat could do it, why cant yours?

http://www.livemint.com/2007/05/26002816/Honey-I-lost-the-kids-I-thin.html

[King]

This dude was on the wrong flight :thumbs_down: I feel it is otherwise, the Indian kids are very well behaved usually while the rest go absolutely mental on long flights. At least that is my experience.

[CC1981]

This dude obviously hasnt seen the average north american kids in their schools or homes. LOL.

[The Outsider]

One thing on which I agree with in the article is not allowing kids in movie theaters after a certain time say the 9 or 10 o'clock show. While westerners would shell out those $30-$50 for a babysitter, the percentage of Indians doing it is extremely small resulting in irritated and sleepy kids howling away in a late night show. I don't blame the kids. Its past their bed time and they are obviously sleepy and cranky but shouldn't their parents adopt a bit of common sense.

[yoda]

If you are on a flight back from the US, the NRI kids will be the ones throwing orange juice at other passengers

:hysterical: what a moron!

[Aditi]

I just got back from Disney World yesterday and let me tell you the white American kids were a million times brattier than any other nationality. Indian children were angels compared to them!

[dial_100]

Oh yeah.. and nothing to say about these same kid when grows up, the way she will be behaving in the public places? Well... Mute point....thats how ppl like their kids to behave then they should raise their kids that way. We will raise them what we think is right way of doing. But I must assure you, that the kid we raise when they grow up will be best behaving kids. :thumbs_up::thumbs_up:

[Cricketics]

okay tell u wat, the first part time job i ever did in U.S was of a photographer.. i used to work @ a store called photo fever.. used to take pictures, of passport and stuff.. saala all these american, spanish, japanese, chinese, shinese kids wagara used to misbehave the most.. Indian parents had alredy trained their kids so that they don't mis behave when they go somewhere, americans on the other hand had given khuli choot to their children.. they used throw stuff all over the place.. carrying a glass of shake, droppping it and stuff... India kids way better in that way..

[Lurker]

Veer Sanghavi has a point though he has not been very articulate about it. Look at it this way. If you are living in US/UK/Australia etc. and say you go to catch a flight. If everyone had the same skin colour, facial features etc you would still be able to differentiate between an Indian family with kids and a Western family with kids. Why? well because there is a very good chance that a Western kid of say 2 years is hauling his own little bag behind him while an Indian kid would be in the Momma's lap with husband carrying the entire family's luggage rushing to catch the flight. Sounds familiar? I see that only too often. Does that mean Indian kids are brats? No. Its the parents that are to be blamed. Shwetabh is right on the money on how Indian parents haul their kids to cinemas, I specially stopped going to local theatres who showed Hindi movie. Thats one side of the story. The other side of the story is when these kids grow-up, Indian kids turn out to be calm and generally decent while Western kid having been independent since an early age get all too out of hand. xxxxx

[yoda]

Why? well because there is a very good chance that a Western kid of say 2 years is hauling his own little bag behind him while an Indian kid would be in the Momma's lap with husband carrying the entire family's luggage rushing to catch the flight.[/quota] No 2 year old western kid is going to haul his own bag. Yes, westeners in general raise their kids to be more independent because they consider them as their burden and want them out of their house ASAP. Indians treat their kids as a treasure and want to treat them as one.

[The Outsider]

Yes, westeners in general raise their kids to be more independent because they consider them as their burden and want them out of their house ASAP.

You really need to get out more often. In my circle, I don't know anyone like that.

[kumble_rocks]

Why? well because there is a very good chance that a Western kid of say 2 years is hauling his own little bag behind him while an Indian kid would be in the Momma's lap with husband carrying the entire family's luggage rushing to catch the flight.[/quota] No 2 year old western kid is going to haul his own bag. Yes, westeners in general raise their kids to be more independent because they consider them as their burden and want them out of their house ASAP. Indians treat their kids as a treasure and want to treat them as one.

As a rule, I don't think westerners consider their kids to be burden. Yes, their are exception to the rule.

[Lurker]

No 2 year old western kid is going to haul his own bag. Yes, westeners in general raise their kids to be more independent because they consider them as their burden and want them out of their house ASAP. Indians treat their kids as a treasure and want to treat them as one.

Thats another strange Indian orthodox view I run into everyday. To suggest that Western parents do not treasure their kids is cr@p. It is just an excuse for Indians to baby their kids. The net result is often that Indian kids end up becoming Moma's boy for a long time. In my own experience in the West, Western parents love their kids as anyone else. To give an example I have seen a Western parent(mom or Dad) more likely to go visit his Son/Daughter's football/baskbetball/baseball game over Friday evening/Saturday morning. How often did our own parents come to watch us play back in India? I dont imply Indian parents love their kids less, but I would also say that Western parents love their kids quite much too. xxxxx

[CC1981]

As a rule, I don't think westerners consider their kids to be burden. Yes, their are exception to the rule.

As a rule, westerners care a ****load less about their kids than desi parents do. My mom from the other side of the planet calls me twice a week every week almost for the last eight years. Moms here speak to their kids once or twice a year when they are living cross-Canada, let alone cross-continent. Chinese parents i find are extremes - they are either total control freaks, controlling your career to your marriage or they don't give the slightest toss about you.

[CC1981]

I dont imply Indian parents love their kids less, but I would also say that Western parents love their kids quite much too.

Not really. You are right about the western parents/culture being more independence oriented and as an inescapable consequence of that, relationships as a whole are more or less diminished in attachment factor across the whole spectrum. Be it filial love, parental love,sibling love or sexual based. Indian mentality does inflate the difference significantly but the difference, still is there. Western parents, so long as you are doing fine/having a good time and are independent, don't feel the need to remain in touch nearly as much. Ofcourse, as with any culture, the poorer classes tend to have stronger family bonds than the upper classes.

[yoda]

Lurker, yes, they will visit their kid's baseball game and clap-clap-clap. But when it comes to putting their family's finance in trouble to send their kid to college, they wouldn't budge. They would rather have their kids clean in McDonalds and pay for their education in the name of taking responsibility (cause it would otherwise screw up their own lifestyle) than go the extra mile to help them by going out of their way. I know of many guys who had to get a "loan" from their parents for going to college. And god forbid those kids who can't get a job soon enough or afford a place of their own and end up "over-staying" in their own parent's place.

[CC1981]

Yes, western parents are very individualistic with money-matters. Not sure that it is really any better way of teaching kids how to handle money responsibly - there are equal, if not more people in the west with facked up finances, deep in debt yet they own nothing ( running up stupid credit card bills they cant pay, etc). But personally, i can't believe having similar financial relationship with my family or my kids. I certainly cant be giving my dad a 'loan' when he really needs it (ie, it certainly wont be a 'loan' that i would ask back later- i'd not have the nerve to) and i certainly can't tell dad i am gonna 'pay him back' for paying for my schooling..it'll earn me a slap for being rude to father. But western families - i've known people take loans from their parents to buy a car and first thing mom does is log-on to yahoo stocks to see the latest interest rates. Then the 'parents & kids' agree on the interest rate for the money they are borrowing. :whatchutalkingabout

[Lurker]

Lurker' date=' yes, they will visit their kid's baseball game and clap-clap-clap. But when it comes to putting their family's finance in trouble to send their kid to college, they wouldn't budge. [b']They would rather have their kids clean in McDonalds and pay for their education in the name of taking responsibility (cause it would otherwise screw up their own lifestyle) than go the extra mile to help them by going out of their way.

Yoda whats wrong with that? If you are 16 why shouldn't you take care of yourself. If I had those oppertunity while growing up in India I would have loved to work in a McDonald, earn my way through college and not be a burden on my parents. I can still remember how my parents spent almost half, if not more, of their earnings on the kids education and often sacrificed everything in life for us. By the time we were up on our feet their whole life had passed them by. How is that fair? I know a few Indian/Pakistani kids in US who are working their way through college. It is not only American kids that do that, and frankly I greatly respect them for that. xxxx

[The Outsider]

You guys are making it sound as if paying for college education in the US is some kind of a joke. A good college education would end up costing $150k. Some of you might be really rich but most people wont be able to dish out that kind of money over a 4 year period and imagine if you have 2-3 kids going to college at the same time or someone pursuing his MBA or studying to become a doctor or lawyer in which there are hardly any financial aid options available. My brother is doing his undergrad here and despite the fact that he is on a 75% tuition waiver the annual expenses come to around $15k so obviously he tries to contribute in whatever way he can by working on campus. Whats wrong in that?

[Cricketics]

they will visit their kid's baseball game and clap-clap-clap. But when it comes to putting their family's finance in trouble to send their kid to college, they wouldn't budge. They would rather have their kids clean in McDonalds and pay for their education in the name of taking responsibility (cause it would otherwise screw up their own lifestyle) than go the extra mile to help them by going out of their way. I know of many guys who had to get a "loan" from their parents for going to college. And god forbid those kids who can't get a job soon enough or afford a place of their own and end up "over-staying" in their own parent's place.

exception of that clean in mcdonalds, i agree with everything.. to be frank, its one good thing happening in Western nations.. u see in India most of the students rely on their parents to pay for their collage fees, and most of them try to bunk classes... most of the students back in India are like "Baap ka Maal hai, ais karte raho." if u are in INdia u dont realize that, but visiting countries like U.S, u will actually realize that 16 year old starts earning himself.. also, Indians need to change their mentality.. they still dont have dignity of labor, unlike other nations.. if in India a person plans to work in such places, then their town ppl would be talking to each other about that.. ..