Thierry Henry - The Captain's Log

[sashi]

I Present you....Thierry Henry! MONDAY I am not scared by much in my life. I respect my enemies, my fears, my difficulties, but I don't fear them because only an idiot fears fear. I can look anybody in the eye and say, "I am Thierry Henry." I have played against and with some of the best defenders in the world - Lilo Thuram, Desailly, Ayala, Nesta, Senderos. I never had fear or dread in my stomach's pit. But I fear one thing - an English barbeque. We had to go to a barbeque with my wife's friends and it was a joke, a disaster. The weather was terrible; it was pissing on us all the time. But we had to stay outside, enjoying the classique British summer. Come on guys! Do you want that I catch a cold? I am a sportsman working hard on a miracle comeback. Do you think a cold helps me? I lost a big part of the season with injuries, many injuries, now you want that I sit in the storm for three hours listening to your stupide Fatman Slimboy barbeque cassette and drenching myself? And then the food - sacre bleu, don't get me started! The meat is uncooked or burnt like a crisp! What the hell is that? Then they drown it in the ketchup. Why guys? The pig is already dead, why you must drown it? Rain and ketchup, is that all you've got guys? I don't know how much longer I can put this up, these barbeques, rain, ketchup. Maybe I need a new environment for my spirit, for my soul - maybe I have to go to new space to let my soul breathe. Away from ketchup. Far away. TUESDAY I went to do the photo shoot for a new Arsenal kit, a new white shirt in which I look so, so beautiful. Some people, stupide people, say that Arsenal cannot wear a white shirt. They are stupide. Arsenal cannot have a white top? What the hell is that? Because Spurs are wearing white for all their history? Pathetique. Do Spurs have trademark on white? You know, I like to wear the white shirt, I love it. I feel like a swan, a graceful swan. My style on the pitch is like a swan, floating, dipping, soaring. But I am a swan with the teeth and killer instinct of the shark. I am a swan-shark I think, unique. WEDNESDAY Something so sad, so typical happened at the shops today, inside the car park. I had to do the food shopping (after the difficult season I had last year and my injuries? What is that? Lose in Champions League final, World Cup Final, get injury and finish fourth yet still have to do food shopping?). I found a nice space for my car. I measured the angle perfectly, and was about to do a beautiful reverse parking in the space, taking my time, not touching any kerb or crunching any gear or clipping anybody's mirror-wing, glide into the gap in a swift but not unresponsible speed, leave room enough to open my doors without scratch the other car and allow other people around me to open their door and calmly place their shopping bags inside. Then some idiot, he just parked in my space while I was preparing myself! He just drives straight in, in two seconds, zoom! Straight into my space without taking time. And he was crooked! His stupide car was jutting out at a horrible angle. Sticking out, man it was so ugly. I think if you are parking your automobile you must do it beautifully. Why park in a supermarket carpark without making something attractive? Why? How can you live like this? How can you exist like this? It's too ugly, so sad. Is that how you live, is it all you've got? THURSDAY Thursday night is cinema night in my family, the Thierry Henry family. I thought a good way for me to relax myself was to choose the film for my family. But my wife and daughter wanted to decide the film, a stupide cartoon movie about a stupide puppy dog or monkey or something. Come on guys! What the hell is that? I am under stress, my body was nearly destroyed last season. It was very draining to me, it took a lot out of me. Why can't they understand that? Why can't I watch the film I want to watch? After the difficult season I had last year and my injuries? In the end they understood and agreed that we could go and see SpiderMan 3 again. I love this film, I love it too much! I think it is because Spidey is like me, we are cut with the same cloth. He is one man fighting for justice against ignorants and violent people. I am one man fighting for the name of beautiful football against the monsters, freaks of anti-football. Spidey has problems, stress, doubt, but he never gives in or cries like a woman. I am the same, I accept all they throw at me, like Spidey, I am not a woman. Me and Spidey are not women. He had the Goblin, and Sandy-Man like enemies, I have teams playing ten men behind the ball, Carles Puyol and Sam Allardyce. I know I am right, Peter Parker knows he is right, he holds and guards the truth, like me, TH14. We don't ask for thanks from the people, we do it because we have to and it is right. And of course this SpiderMan suit he wears is so cool, trop cool! I love it, red and blue. I want a red and blue football shirt, it would look perfect on my athletic body. Maybe I tell Hill-Wood to give us a red and blue shirt, or I think of a team who has it already and dress myself in it. Next week I will see SpiderMan 3 for the eighth time, if my family don't get selfish thoughts again. If they want to see this film about the dog puppy or monkey cartoon they will have to do it without me - c'est la vie. They choose - stupide puppy or monkey or their husband and father and Arsenal captain Thierry Henry. FRIDAY I was flicking the channels on TV this morning, looking for some clips of my best goals, but Sky Sports didn't have any on (What the hell is that guys? I get many, many injuries, take a little time out and you forget me? Did you lose the clips of all my goals?). Anyway, I accidentally switched on the cricket. I have a question. Cricket? What the hell is that? It is so boring, man it makes me want to sleep! How can you call this a sport? Man, I want to laugh at them! They are wearing jumpers! I mean, it takes five days and they still can draw! What a stupide sport! Come on guys, you got to be joking! These Anglo-Saxons are ridiculous sometimes; they make me laugh so hard. I don't know how they can stay here all their lives without going crazy! SATURDAY Sky Sports and the BBC finally started talking about me again, making up rubbish about my future, like every summer. Come on guys! Haven't you got any other things to talk about? Is that all you have got? And one journalist, stupide, stupide man, said I don't go to Italy this summer because I failed at Juventus in 1999. What the hell is that? Again, this story? I tell you, I tell you the truth, the real truth. Juve failed, not Thierry Henry. They played me in a stupide position, they didn't understand Thierry Henry. They made me wear the football handcuffs. They wanted to strangle me with suffocation. On the pitch I take risks, I take the ball, I go wide, I cross, I fly, I create, I glide, I soar, I swoop, I pounce. But they put me inside a cage, a horrible cage. They failed, not me, they are the people who built a horrible cage around Thierry Henry. I cannot think they are a real club, a big club. I do not think many big team do this. I do not think Barcelona would build up a cage with Thierry Henry inside. SUNDAY It was the grande finale of the Spanish Liga, and I wanted to watch it to see who wins. Of course I had to miss the first two minutes because my wife was watching something on a DVD. I asked if I could see the Spanish games and she said she was watching 'Sex In A City' or 'Willy and Grace' or something stupide. I could not believe that I could not watch what I wanted in my house! What the hell is that? Can't I relax at home? I want to release my stress, I have played so many games in the last few years, but my body said stop! And now I need some Thierry-time. In the end she let me see the games. "Come on Nicole, what the hell is that?" I calmly moaned, and she stopped the DVD. But I missed two minutes of the football...come on! You want to ruin my night? But I was laughing at the end because Barcelona's captain, Carles Puyol, lost the title on the last day! Hey Puyol, you think I forget the Champions League Final in 2006? You played like a cheat, beating, kicking and hitting me. But I didn't go down. I am not a woman. But I lost that night. Now you must taste a defeat, idiot. Magnifique! This is a big, a strong club Barcelona, with a nice mentality and respect for the true spirit of the football. When you have the captain's armband on your bicep you carry the fans, the dreams and you must respect beauty and honour, I think. But maybe someone must put a word in Puyol's ear and make him know some things! Maybe I visit him in Barcelona. I don't know the future. I know many things, but I cannot know the future. It is impossible. But of course I am sad for Lilo Thuram. Man I am sorry for him, my brother, a warrior like me. He lost too, and he is real man, like me. He has respect and understands the truth, the real spirit of sport, life. Maybe I invite him to come and see SpiderMan 3 with me, if my wife and daughter are stubborn mule again next week. Or I could go to Spain and watch it with him. Yes, this is a good idea, I'll ask my agent to phone and find out about cinema times in Barcelona tomorrow morning after my stupide, soggy English idiote baker-produced croissant with Nicole and my petite daughter. Stupide. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Source:www.football365.com They come up with hilarious diaries.Class stuff.:haha:

[Predator_05]

Gotta love f365.com !