What Happens After We Lose to Pakistan?

[Dhondy]

This is inspired by a similar thread started by Gambo. Except that, here, I am assuming Pakistan have won the final. This is what happens afterwards. Yuvraj has been relegated from Punjabdaputtar to the spoilt-brat-of-Chandigarh who feigned injury to miss the ODI against SA because he wasn't happy with Dhoni being anointed captain. Certain posters have suddenly transformed from being Punjabis to Paharis from Western UP (Gee, for a moment back there, I thought Punjab regiment had taken over ICF) New threads have cropped up on Pukepassion titled, "Hafeez owns Yuvi" (replacing,"How do we get Yuvi out?"),...."Shahid Afridi, da real beast" (How did we ever think he was human?) .... and "That six wasn't 119 meters- they confused metric with British". BCCI has revoked the reward of Porsche and offered a Daihatsu instead. Dhoni, the "Iceman", is now the spoilt Mahato from Jharkhand, who shamelessly accepted the offer of a free building plot from Shibu Soren in Ranchi. Despite his build, he probably has a small d1ck, and Lurker, fresh from singing paens about this talented Jharkhandi who leads the rest of India, is now banging his head against the wall because of the size of his waist line. Why can't these highly paid chewtias (Lurker's diction guys, not mine) spend a few moments in the gym to shape up? Sreesanth, he of the wonderful aggression, is now a neanderthal who needs some Valium to calm down, according to Zubinpepsi. At last ICF and Pukepassion are in complete agreement here. As a result of his demotion, and Sandtest suddenly remembering that he is from MP, not UP, following RP Singh going for 50 runs in the final, India's fast bowling cupboard has suddenly regressed from bursting at the seams to starkly threadbare, rather reminiscent of the Northern Rock vaults after the recent run on its deposits. Cries have gone up for Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly to promptly return to the team. Most ICFers, including Pred, agree that it was a false dawn that the newcomers promised. Ganguly, sitting on his sofa made of greenbacks in South Calcutta, turns to dad Chandi and lets out a whistle, "Phew, that was close. You can tell Bharti Telecom I'm back home." Donny starts a thread, "Oi oi Aussie." On being pointed out that Australia lost fully three matches in this tourney, Donny comes back with the gradient of the learning curve that Glichrist mentioned. Shwetabh gently corrects him, "But Donny, the gradient can never be 90 degrees!" Donny counters, "Have you ever climbed Kosciuszko (in NSW), you fool? Shwetabh looks suitably chastised and agrees that Donny was right all along. Meanwhile, Bheembhai is frantically calling the post office to retrieve a letter he posted to McGrath, challenging him to come back and face Yuvraj, and be exposed to the world for ever as the trundler that he was. This of course, after Yuvi scored a big fat zero. Uthappa is a South Indian mongrel, brought up solely on a diet of putrid Dosas, according to Northerners such as Cricketics. Kumble Rocks points out that in Karnataka, it is Uthapams that people prefer, as signified by Robin's surname. In any case, his great grandfather was a Punjabi, who ravished Robin's great grandma in the toilet of a South Indian restaurant called "Idl-Sambar...ahahaha", (slightly strange name, agree), and therefore Karnataka is not to be blamed at all. Bheem suspects that this great grandpa fella might have actually been a Wahabi in disguise from across the border. (Gee, these Pakistanis plan ahead, don't they?) Following the defeat, Lurker is back to the General Discussions forum, the brief foray into cricket forgotten. He has started a series called "Clean underwear"..."After his memoirs on his visit to the doctor's surgery, this article exhorts people to wear freshly laundered undies to the optician, just in case they suspect he is from Jarkhand and confuse him with small-d1cked Dhoni because of their similar build (sans the paunch in Lurker's case, of course. Oh no Lurks, I wasn't going to miss that out). My neighbour peers into the distance and points out a blimp. "Funny", he says, "The balloon is supporting a banner called " 'Meat, meat, meat'. Who put it there?" I sighed knowingly. This was Kablooee's way of getting back at us for banning him. Every day, for two weeks following India's loss in the final, he had bumped up his thread "Stand up and be counted" with the cryptic phrase, "You can sit down now". Really! It's just a game, innit? (Particularly when we lose)

[The Outsider]

:hysterical::hysterical::cantstop::cantstop: This is genius, all of it!! But the following parts are beyond that :

Lurker, fresh from singing paens about this talented Jharkhandi who leads the rest of India, is now bannging his head against the wall because of the size of his waist line. Why can't these highly paid chewtias (Lurker's diction guys, not mine) spend a few moments in the gym to shape up?

Meanwhile, Bheembhai is frantically calling the post office to retrieve a letter he posted to McGrath, challenging him to come back and face Yuvraj, and be exposed to the world for ever as the trundler that he was. This of course, after Yuvi scored a big fat zero.

Kumble Rocks points out that in Karnataka, it is Uthapams that people prefer, as sigified by Robin's surname. In any case, his great grandfather was a Punjabi, who ravaged Robin's great grandma in the toilet of a South Indian restaurant called "Idl-Sambar...ahahaha", (slightly strange name, agree), and therefore Karnataka is not to be blamed at all. Bheem suspects that this great grandpa fella might have actually been a Wahabi in disguise from across the border. (Gee, these Pakistanis plan ahead, don't they?)

Will have to read this over and over again to savour the wonderful humour!!!

[Guest BossBhai]

-- Removed on request of the user --

[Bumper]

Dhoni, the "Iceman", is now the spoilt Mahato from Jharkhand, who shamelessly accepted the offer of a free building plot from Shibu Soren in Ranchi. Despite his build, he probably has a small d1ck,

I sighed knowingly. This was Kablooee's way of getting back at us for banning him. Every day, for two weeks following India's loss in the final, he had bumped up his thread "Stand up and be counted" with the cryptic phrase, "You can sit down now".

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Bumper]

Dhondy you need to fit feverpitch & Chandan in there somewhere. Am sure feverpitch would have something to say about "Snake Chappell's appointment by Rajasthan cricket board" and how it affected our performance in the finals and how badly we missed Saurav's aggro & leadership in the finals. Chandan, would slam the BCCI for preannouncing the awards, not backing the seniors.

[The Outsider]

^ and Bumper would start a "Drop Yuvraj" campaign backed by Predator!!:haha:

[Guest BossBhai]

-- Removed on request of the user --

[Bumper]

^ and Bumper would start a "Drop Yuvraj" campaign backed by Predator!!:haha:

Naah I never drop my players back one or two bad performances. Veeru & Yuvraj are among my fav players in the team. However i will back a drop Joginder campaign:haha:

[sandtest]

:cantstop::cantstop: Whatever will be the result of tommorrow's match, after reading this brilliant stuff..we should better support our respective players or else face the onslaught of Dhondyism....:hysterical:

[theguyinallblue]

Meanwhile, Bheembhai is frantically calling the post office to retrieve a letter he posted to McGrath, challenging him to come back and face Yuvraj, and be exposed to the world for ever as the trundler that he was. This of course, after Yuvi scored a big fat zero.. :cantstop::haha:... Bheembhai...i just hope you did not send an email...else you will have to hack Mcgrath's email id..or his PC.. brilliant stuff Dhondy....

[kumble_rocks]

:hysterical::hysterical: Bumper, Gambit and Doc are the best when it comes to humor. Simply too good.

[Mandrake]

This totally had me in splits::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: "Uthappa is a South Indian mongrel, brought up solely on a diet of putrid Dosas, according to Northerners such as Cricketics. Kumble Rocks points out that in Karnataka, it is Uthapams that people prefer, as signified by Robin's surname. In any case, his great grandfather was a Punjabi, who ravished Robin's great grandma in the toilet of a South Indian restaurant called "Idl-Sambar...ahahaha", (slightly strange name, agree), and therefore Karnataka is not to be blamed at all. Bheem suspects that this great grandpa fella might have actually been a Wahabi in disguise from across the border. (Gee, these Pakistanis plan ahead, don't they?)"

[Gambit]

Hilarious stuff Dhondy but I'm too nervous to laugh. Will revisit this thread after we (hopefully) win.

[Rajiv]

:hysterical: It really doesn't matter if we lose now

[Bumper]

Uthappa is a South Indian mongrel, brought up solely on a diet of putrid Dosas, according to Northerners such as Cricketics. Kumble Rocks points out that in Karnataka, it is Uthapams that people prefer, as signified by Robin's surname. In any case, his great grandfather was a Punjabi, who ravished Robin's great grandma in the toilet of a South Indian restaurant called "Idl-Sambar...ahahaha", (slightly strange name, agree), and therefore Karnataka is not to be blamed at all. Bheem suspects that this great grandpa fella might have actually been a Wahabi in disguise from across the border. (Gee, these Pakistanis plan ahead, don't they?)

Dang i had missed this one in my first read. This really had me rolling on the floor:hysterical: Absolutely brilliant! :hysterical:

[Anakin]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dirty_South]

Brilliant !!! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Gifted u ICF $300 ! :two_thumbs_up:

[Mr. Wicket]

Spectacular. Hilarious stuff, Doc.

[King]

Awesome, a chuckle is the need of the hour.

[Gambit]

Phew :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: