Jokes on recent test

[aussiefan]

WARNING.... The below posts are intended in humour and should not be taken seriously. New rules in the making by ICC after the SCG Test. (1) Ricky Ponting - (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will override any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of Ponting even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team understands the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE. (2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, if the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER (WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be sought from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams. (3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher. (4) UMPIRES are allowed to make one bad decision when an AUSTRALIAN player is batting. Multiple errors are allowed if the Aussie batsman scores a century. Opposition teams should accept the verdict and move on without any fuss. (5) All Australian players are entitled to sledge their opponents but any return comments from the opponents are strictly prohibited. Any such comments will be considered as racial abuse and reported to the match referee. All visiting teams must speak to their collegues in English on the field, use of any other language will be considered as racial abuse. (6) MATCH REFREE ' s decisions will be taken purely on the advice of AUSTRALIAN TEAM. Views of the other team will not be considered for decision making. (7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained. (8) LBW - If an Australian is batting, the batsman should definitely be given out only if the ball hits anywhere ABOVE the abdomen and the ball will hit the sticks if it had not been intercepted by the batsman. If opponent team is batting, the batsman should definitely be given out if the ball hits anywhere BELOW the abdomen and the ball is straight to the sticks from any view within +90 or -90 degree from where umpire is standing. AS PONTING PROVED BEYOND DOUBTS THAT ABDOMEN IS CONSIDERED TO BE IN CENTER PART OF ANY HUMAN BODY, THIS RULE IS CONSIDERED TO BE VERY FAIR AND UNBIASED. (9) Caught behind - If an Australian is batting, the batsman can be given caught behind only if the ball is caught by keeper after it hits the centre of the bat and a huge noise is heard to a person sitting 5km away from the pitch. If opponent team is batting, the batsman can be given caught behind even if it hits the pad (irrespective of where the bat is) and appealed by keeper and bowler. (10) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will play to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

[Rajan]

Just recieved the same from a friend, who is working in an Govt.Undertaking in Bangalore! Internet just evaporates the distance!

[Guest HariSampath]

Benefit of doubt goes to Australian batsmen; Benefit of OUT goes to Australian bowlers

[Guest HariSampath]

Indians should walk and not talk; Aussies will talk and not walk

[Rajan]

Both are very good Hari, By the way just received this one from an Infy friend: Bucknor: (n) (adj) 1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious. 2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time. 3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors. Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you. Benson: (n) (adj) 1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor. Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast. Also see bucknor

[varun]

LOL :haha:

[Sachinism]

hahahaha funny stuff though some of the rules were posted earlier

[Anakin]

:hysterical::hysterical:

[yoda]

New rules in the making by ICC after the SCG Test.

I thought these were the rules for the SCG test.

[DesiChap]

I thought these were the rules for the SCG test.

These rules have always been there. They were made public after the SCG test.

[Zap_Brannigan]

deja vu?

[Guest BossBhai]

-- Removed on request of the user --

[Bumper]

Both are very good Hari, By the way just received this one from an Infy friend: Bucknor: (n) (adj) 1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious. 2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time. 3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors. Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you. Benson: (n) (adj) 1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor. Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast. Also see bucknor

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: