Brainfade Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Really? A day for women? When we celebrate them for making all kinds of sacrifices, but do nothing to decrease their burdens? When we praise them for being the reason for our success, while doing nothing to support their quest for success? When we stereotype them for being great cooks, housekeepers etc., while not realizing that their dreams may go beyond what you want from them? When we put them on a pedestal for being soft-spoken and patient, because that is what we expect of them? When we celebrate Ma, but get together with her to torture biwi? Worst of all, when we find out that there is one on her way, we terminate her even before she has a chance? Let's do something real, 365 days of the year. Not create window dressings for 1. beetle, GoldenSun, Adi_91 and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomGuy Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 *जिन लड़कियों से गोल रोटी नहीं बनती है, उनको भी Happy Womens Day *विदाई में साड़ी मिलने पर " अरे इसकी क्या जरूरत थी " और घर आकर " ऐसी साड़ी तो हमारी नौकरानी " भी ना पहने.... बोलने वाली महिलाओं को भी...* *बहुत बहुत शुभकामनायें!* *ब्रेक दबाने के बजाए जमीन पर पैर रख के, स्कुटी रोकने की कोशिश करने वाली महिलाओं को Happy Womens Day *अपनी स्कूटी का राईट इंडिकेटर देकर लेफ्ट में मुड़ने वाली सभी महिलायों को भी Happy Womens Day *तीन घण्टे लगातार पड़ोस की बहू को कोसने के बाद.... ये बोलना कि* *"भाड़ में जाये हमे क्या करना"* *वाली महिलाओं को भी* *बहुत बहुत शुभकामनायें!* beetle and MechEng 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandeep Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Brainfade said: Really? A day for women? When we celebrate them for making all kinds of sacrifices, but do nothing to decrease their burdens? When we praise them for being the reason for our success, while doing nothing to support their quest for success? When we stereotype them for being great cooks, housekeepers etc., while not realizing that their dreams may go beyond what you want from them? When we put them on a pedestal for being soft-spoken and patient, because that is what we expect of them? When we celebrate Ma, but get together with her to torture biwi? Worst of all, when we find out that there is one on her way, we terminate her even before she has a chance? Let's do something real, 365 days of the year. Not create window dressings for 1. How about do both. You can't deny that such public discussions and commemorations do help in starting conversations, and changing attitudes. Howsoever slowly. Lord 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vilander Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Cliche. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainfade Posted March 8, 2017 Author Share Posted March 8, 2017 4 hours ago, sandeep said: How about do both. You can't deny that such public discussions and commemorations do help in starting conversations, and changing attitudes. Howsoever slowly. Agreed. But, let's strive for the moment when we will not need a day to remind ourselves of the value of women. GoldenSun 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 7 hours ago, Brainfade said: Really? A day for women? When we celebrate them for making all kinds of sacrifices, but do nothing to decrease their burdens? When we praise them for being the reason for our success, while doing nothing to support their quest for success? When we stereotype them for being great cooks, housekeepers etc., while not realizing that their dreams may go beyond what you want from them? When we put them on a pedestal for being soft-spoken and patient, because that is what we expect of them? When we celebrate Ma, but get together with her to torture biwi? Worst of all, when we find out that there is one on her way, we terminate her even before she has a chance? Let's do something real, 365 days of the year. Not create window dressings for 1. By that logic, we can get rid of any celebratory day- why have independence day ? we should be patriotic 365 days a year, not just window-dress it of 1 day. Why have Ganesh Puja day ? if one worships Ganesh, they should do it equally all days of the year and not window-dress it for a day... sandeep, GoldenSun, Lord and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 Ironic you brought up this issue on women's day Muloghonto and GoldenSun 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainfade Posted March 8, 2017 Author Share Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Muloghonto said: By that logic, we can get rid of any celebratory day- why have independence day ? we should be patriotic 365 days a year, not just window-dress it of 1 day. Why have Ganesh Puja day ? if one worships Ganesh, they should do it equally all days of the year and not window-dress it for a day... Sure. But the difference is that the reason for this day is that women, who have been oppressed and discriminated against throughout history, get a day when their contributions are recognized. But now we stereotype. We celebrate them because they supported us as moms, sisters etc. Because they cooked for us when we were chasing success. WTF? We have come a long way in the area of women's rights, but we must reach a reach a point where not only is the oppression and discrimination non-existent, but where each man and woman is seen as an individual and not as a member of a group. BTW, if I can get modaks/kozhakattais every day, am all for celebrating Ganesh puja 365 days a year. Edited March 8, 2017 by Brainfade GoldenSun 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PBN Posted March 8, 2017 Share Posted March 8, 2017 main point of such days to is to raise awareness Muloghonto 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Got this on WA... If we must celebrate a day for women, let us celebrate freedom from stereotypes, from expectations, from idolisation, from sacrifice... Stop congratulating women for being the secret behind a successful man... Start saluting them for being successful. Stop saying the mother is sacred for all the sacrifices she makes... Try to reduce those sacrifices! Stop telling women they are beautiful... Try telling them it's not important to be beautiful! Stop praising her roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister... Celebrate her as an individual, a person, independent of relationships. Stop justifying her necessity to multi task.... Give her a chance not to! Stop these constructs which are aimed at making her strive for an impossible balance... Let her be inadequate... And happy! Stop making her look at herself through a conveniently male viewpoint. Let her be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, boorish, lazy, fierce, opinionated, loud, flabby, ungroomed, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared, impractical... Let her be da Man!. rkt.india, tweaker, Brainfade and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomGuy Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) 16 hours ago, Brainfade said: Sure. But the difference is that the reason for this day is that women, who have been oppressed and discriminated against throughout history, get a day when their contributions are recognized. But now we stereotype. We celebrate them because they supported us as moms, sisters etc. Because they cooked for us when we were chasing success. WTF? We have come a long way in the area of women's rights, but we must reach a reach a point where not only is the oppression and discrimination non-existent, but where each man and woman is seen as an individual and not as a member of a group. BTW, if I can get modaks/kozhakattais every day, am all for celebrating Ganesh puja 365 days a year. Cooking is the greatest responsibility women have taken historically imo...3 times a day...365 days a year... Standing in smoke to cook rotis (ok there are exhaust fans but still)...This deserves sooo much recognition....It shows their commitment and dedication...hats off. Edited March 9, 2017 by randomGuy Cricketics 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 4 hours ago, coffee_rules said: Got this on WA... If we must celebrate a day for women, let us celebrate freedom from stereotypes, from expectations, from idolisation, from sacrifice... Stop congratulating women for being the secret behind a successful man... Start saluting them for being successful. Stop saying the mother is sacred for all the sacrifices she makes... Try to reduce those sacrifices! Stop telling women they are beautiful... Try telling them it's not important to be beautiful! Stop praising her roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister... Celebrate her as an individual, a person, independent of relationships. Stop justifying her necessity to multi task.... Give her a chance not to! Stop these constructs which are aimed at making her strive for an impossible balance... Let her be inadequate... And happy! Stop making her look at herself through a conveniently male viewpoint. Let her be imperfect, whimsical, irresponsible, boorish, lazy, fierce, opinionated, loud, flabby, ungroomed, adventurous, unpredictable, unprepared, impractical... Let her be da Man!. Spoiled it there.Let her be the woman beetle, Sidhoni, coffee_rules and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 ^ I meant same as Man, as these are not expected of Men, no reason to expect it from Women. We put them on a pedastal, worship like gods, and ask them to act like one. beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, coffee_rules said: ^ I meant same as Man, as these are not expected of Men, no reason to expect it from Women. We put them on a pedastal, worship like gods, and ask them to act like one. ^ Agreed. IMO, people need to do what is best for them and their scenario, not what society expects uniformly. For eg, for he last two years, i am the 'stay at home daddy'. I cook, i clean, i take care of the kids after they come home from school, i drive them to extra-curriculars. My wife is the one who wakes up at six am, goes to work for 8 am, comes home at 6 (sometimes later, on her activity days), spends 1-2 hrs with the kids before bed. Why ? Because i work from home- i am a coder and my company doesnt require me to come to office more than once every 2 weeks. I can work from home, from library- heck, i 'worked' from Dallas last year when we went on an impromptu road-trip. While she is an office manager- she has to be at work or she is not working. So it makes sense for me to 'be the mommy of the house', coz i am already here. Whats surprising, is that most Punjabis,Arabs and Chinese people here view that negatively. They see 'cooking + cleaning = woman's job', period. While most of the white people/Iranians/rest-of-the-indians-here (which in my circle, are Tamils and a few Bengalis) are supportive of it. Edited March 9, 2017 by Muloghonto beetle and Brainfade 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 1 hour ago, coffee_rules said: ^ I meant same as Man, as these are not expected of Men, no reason to expect it from Women. We put them on a pedastal, worship like gods, and ask them to act like one. I got that.But we should celebrate these imperfections while also appreciating qualities that only women seem to have Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muloghonto Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 14 minutes ago, Lord said: I got that.But we should celebrate these imperfections while also appreciating qualities that only women seem to have except for child-bearing/breast-feeding and being one step behind in sports, there are no other 'qualities that only women have'. Men can do just about anything else just as well and women can do just about anything else just as well as men. beetle and Brainfade 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainfade Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 10 hours ago, randomGuy said: Cooking is the greatest responsibility women have taken historically imo...3 times a day...365 days a year... Standing in smoke to cook rotis (ok there are exhaust fans but still)...This deserves sooo much recognition....It shows their commitment and dedication...hats off. Absolutely male chauvinistic view. Instead of letting her sacrifice for 364 days and celebrate her sacrifice, how about do something to spare her the sacrifice? Do something meaningful. Start by asking her what her dreams are. Maybe she does not want to cook and clean for the family, but would rather become a scientist or electrical engineer or social worker or astronaut. Instead of celebrating and romanticizing her ability and willingness to cook for the family, spare her of that and let her do what SHE dreams for herself. beetle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomGuy Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Brainfade said: Absolutely male chauvinistic view. Instead of letting her sacrifice for 364 days and celebrate her sacrifice, how about do something to spare her the sacrifice? Do something meaningful. Start by asking her what her dreams are. Maybe she does not want to cook and clean for the family, but would rather become a scientist or electrical engineer or social worker or astronaut. Instead of celebrating and romanticizing her ability and willingness to cook for the family, spare her of that and let her do what SHE dreams for herself. How do you know I haven't done this?... Several times. There is no bigger proponent of equality and socialism in entire world than me, not just gender equality. You can't even dream to be like me. I fully agree with all you have said on this topic. Btw I also try to think that there may be a genetic reason why women and men may sometimes have different strengths,interests,habits,ambitions, behaviours or even different life expectancies (in every country, women have higher life expectancy than men by about 3 years) : The difference of hormones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainfade Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 29 minutes ago, randomGuy said: How do you know I haven't done this?... Several times. There is no bigger proponent of equality and socialism in entire world than me, not just gender equality. You can't even dream to be like me. I fully agree with all you have said on this topic. Btw I also try to think that there may be a genetic reason why women and men may sometimes have different strengths,interests,habits,ambitions, behaviours or even different life expectancies (in every country, women have higher life expectancy than men by about 3 years) : The difference of hormones. Sorry, didn't mean to direct it at "you." It was directed generally at our male-centric societies. My bad. randomGuy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I think in most urban families and esp in the west, household chores are equally distributed. There is not much of sacrifice expected nor celebrated. I feel feminists are not getting the labor distribution among men and women. It is no more about what women cant do, it is about who can do a better job or fit for it. jobs needing physical labor, women sometimes are not strong enough. But to point it becomes misogyny. Jobs like human care, women can do it better. In Combat, women can make the team vulnerable. I am not saying women shouldnt take up such jobs, if they can prove, they should. But, the fight should be about individual rights and not about capability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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