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The Ranchi Daymare


Mosher

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Jarrod is just brilliant. Hilarious article. 

 

Why is Josh Hazlewood staring at a rough patch of grass for minutes at a time? What does this grass do, say, or show? Maybe it's zen grass. Maybe I should stare at the grass. Or perhaps I should squat down between balls like Nathan Lyon and play with it. Aw look, yeah mate, reconnect with nature, life will be simpler then... Like before I had an agent and my mate's all texted me when they wanted free tickets. I give away tickets to watch me; I'd never thought about this before - does this make me a product, an actor, a living entertainment vessel? Oh, this is deep, this one's going to fester.

Oh, a wicket, yeah! That's weird. Is this the first wicket ever taken in cricket? Should we shuffle in unathletically, mumble nothing more than "walla, walla, walla", stand in a circle for a while before moving back towards our positions of solitude? Yes, lets.

Oh, that crazy guy - or figment of my own hyper-real Ultra HD imagination - Sir Ravindra Jadeja! He's doing a sword celebration for his fifty. I think I remember my grandfather telling me that in the old days Australian cricketers would stare at this sort of thing disapprovingly and make passive aggressive comments. I wish I lived in those times. My grandpa also warned that under the Indian sun Australian men watched Indians for days, and this brought about an apocalypse. But that's just a scary fairy tale meant to scare me straight.

 

Mate, this is hell. The spinning, the foot marks. R Ashwin's teasing bombs and Jadeja's endless grenades. Argh, Virat Kohli's mouth. The whole thing. This isn't standing around on an overcast day wondering about the very existence of reality; this is the real thing. Ranchi rockets, bloodcurdling screams and things that go bump in the night.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/story/1087697.html

 

 

Edited by Mosher
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