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punjabiplaya last won the day on November 10 2015

punjabiplaya had the most liked content!

About punjabiplaya

  • Rank
  • Birthday 05/01/1974


  • Biography
    35 now getting old..
  • Location
    kent uk
  • Interests
    cricket football boxing reading cinema gym debating
  • Occupation
    own properties n 2 fish n chip shops

Recent Profile Visitors

477 profile views
  1. jokes

    Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life....
  2. jokes

    A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
  3. jokes

    What the number one crime in China? Identity theft
  4. jokes

    A woman was being examined by a Gynacologist. " Good Heavens you have a large vagina,Good Heavens you have a large vagina " He said. "There is no need to repeat yourself", said the woman. "I didn't ," replied the doctor
  5. jokes

    My friend once went to a strip club in Abu Dhabi and got thrown out after saying: "Show us your face"
  6. jokes

    Husband: Amazing world, only 25% of men have common sense, very short figure! Wife: What about Rest? Husband: Well rest are Married!
  7. jokes

    Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Johnny says " Mas-ter-bate." Ms Ball smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Billy says, "No, Miss Ball, you're thinking of a blowjob.
  8. jokes

    A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him. The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes? His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay. The husband says, No, not at all. His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.
  9. jokes

    My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" was not the right answer
  10. jokes

    Q: What do pakistani men do during foreplay? A: Tickle the goat under the chin.
  11. jokes

    Q: What is the difference between a Protestant woman and a pakistani woman? A: Protestant woman get stoned before they commit adultery
  12. jokes

    Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread.
  13. jokes

    During a blind date, as a man and a woman were filling each other in on their pasts, the man said, "A genie once gave me the option of having a longer penis or better memory". "And which did you choose?" the woman asked. the man replied "I don't remember
  14. jokes

    A man and his friend went to a bar and started talking. The man says to his friend “I think my wife is cheating on me.” The friend says, “How do you know?” The man replies, “She didn’t come home last night and she said she was with her sister Shirley.” The friend said, “and…..” The man says, “She is lying because I was with her sister last night.
  15. jokes

    One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. “I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?” “What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. “It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop. “Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, “Ummm… is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes.” replied the officer “Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher. “Uh… yes.” replied the cop. “Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.” “What? I can’t do that. It’s… inappropriate.” exclaimed the cop. “Trust me. Just do it.” said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs… “Ohh no… not another breathalyzer…”

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