Cricket jokes

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:28 AM

Since the world cup fever is on, lets have some cricket fun.

I will try not to repeat the old jokes..

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:29 AM

Cricket - A sport that requires five days of consecutive sunshine.

Invented in........ England.

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:30 AM

I bumped into Steve Bucknor in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you gave Sachin Tendulkar out in that match? I mean, two Star Sports pundits were..."

"Yeah yeah," he interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know."

So I explained the LBW rule.

Sachin=GOD · 02-22-2011, 10:34 AM

Gandhi's last words were - "Hey Ram".
Ponting's last words would be "Hey Laxman

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:38 AM

Ricky Ponting walks into a library.

The librarian raises his index finger and says, "Out!"

_____________________________________________________

Ricky Ponting walks into a library and says "Do you have any books on the Ashes"?

The Librarian says; "**** off, mate. You won't bring 'em back!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ricky Ponting walks into a library and asks "Do you have any books on Australian cricketers?"

The librarian says "They are all out."

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:38 AM

I just went to the BBC website and clicked on the link "Live - England v Pakistan"

A message came up saying "Click to play."

So that's how they pick the England team then.

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by Sachin=GOD

Gandhi's last words were - "Hey Ram".
Ponting's last words would be "Hey Laxman

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:41 AM

What do you call a group of cows?
A herd.

What do you call a group of ducks?

Pakistani batsmen.

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:41 AM

Apparently on winning the toss Strauss said to Ponting "You can bat", to which Ricky replied "You think so? Thanks for the encouragement." !

Sachin=GOD · 02-22-2011, 10:41 AM

4 captains are standing in a room boasting about their teams batting skills:
austrailian captain: hum to sirf 6 marte hain;
england captain: hum to sirf 4 marte hain;
indian captain: (sees the best has been taken so shrugs and says): hum to bhai style marte hain;
everyone looks at the relaxed pakistani captain who says: hum to seedha coach marte hain!!

Sachin=GOD · 02-22-2011, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by Domaink

What do you call a group of cows?
A herd.

What do you call a group of ducks?

Pakistani batsmen.

Originally Posted by Domaink

Apparently on winning the toss Strauss said to Ponting "You can bat", to which Ricky replied "You think so? Thanks for the encouragement." !

DomainK · 02-22-2011, 10:44 AM

I went to Shahid Afridi’s place to watch a cricket match. Midway I walked upto the fridge, pulled a pepsi bottle out and asked “mate, got any opener?”

He gave me a death stare, chewed the crown off the bottle and said “No, but I make it up with my teeth.”

EnterTheVoid · 02-22-2011, 10:46 AM

Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock:

"Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones"

Jadoo · 02-22-2011, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by sree_india

Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock:

"Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones"

gaurav92 · 02-23-2011, 04:35 AM

Originally Posted by Sachin=GOD

4 captains are standing in a room boasting about their teams batting skills:
austrailian captain: hum to sirf 6 marte hain;
england captain: hum to sirf 4 marte hain;
indian captain: (sees the best has been taken so shrugs and says): hum to bhai style marte hain;
everyone looks at the relaxed pakistani captain who says: hum to seedha coach marte hain!!

Originally Posted by Domaink

I went to Shahid Afridi’s place to watch a cricket match. Midway I walked upto the fridge, pulled a pepsi bottle out and asked “mate, got any opener?”

He gave me a death stare, chewed the crown off the bottle and said “No, but I make it up with my teeth.”

Originally Posted by sree_india

Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock:

"Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones"

Originally Posted by Domaink

Apparently on winning the toss Strauss said to Ponting "You can bat", to which Ricky replied "You think so? Thanks for the encouragement." !

Originally Posted by Domaink

I bumped into Steve Bucknor in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you gave Sachin Tendulkar out in that match? I mean, two Star Sports pundits were..."

"Yeah yeah," he interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know."

So I explained the LBW rule.

gaurav92 · 02-23-2011, 04:54 AM

The standard of batting in the local side was very low. Even at the net practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, the captain rushed forward and grabbed the bat.

'Now bowl me some fast ones!' he yelled. Six fast balls came down in quick succession and the captain missed them all. Not to be put off he glared at the team and shouted,

'Now that's what you're all doing. Get in there and hit them!'

______________________________________________________________________________________

Michael Clarke called Ricky into his room and said 'We've got some very tough matches coming up,' he said, 'and I wanted to talk to you because we need someone with an Iron nerve, a strong constitution and great skill in the side.

That's why I'm asking you to resign.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Salman Butt said to the bowler, 'Give me an easy one, will you? I bet a fellow in the crowd five pounds that I'd score four runs.'

The bowler did so and the batsman hit it to the boundary. Straight away, he walked for the pavilion.

'You're not out,' said the bowler, 'Where are you going?'

He yelled back: 'I'm going to find the chap who bet me!'

gaurav92 · 02-23-2011, 05:00 AM

During the match, A Paki batsman heard a cry from the crowd 'Smith, Smith Your house is on fire!'

He dropped his bat and ran off the field, through the crowd and into the road. Breathlessly, he pounded along and then stopped.
'Why am I running?' he said. 'My name's not Smith!'

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:05 AM

It's a lovely day here at Lord's. Pakistan have won the toss and decided to bet.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:15 AM

Shoaib Akhtar has been invited to participate in Master Chef as it’s believed he can make a meal out of practically anything.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:16 AM

So Muralitharan has taken 800 test wickets.

Isn't it about time they stopped testing him and let him take some real wickets?

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:17 AM

Where does the English cricket team stay during a tour of South Africa?

With their parents.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:18 AM

I'm always immensely proud when England win the Ashes. Coming first in a bi-annual two team competition, in a game we invented, against a country with a population a third the size of ours, about 25% of the time, is really something to cherish.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:21 AM

Taking a clue from the Americans, the Aussi's have blamed a website for their recent defeat in the Ashes.

It's called 'Wicketleaks'

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:21 AM

Lakme has launched a new product in Pakistan that can fix spots on facial skin. They have signed up Salman Butt to endorse it.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:22 AM

What's the difference between Tarzan and the Australian cricket team?

Tarzan could reverse swing.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:38 AM

I think the Australians need to be more careful picking their cricket team line up.

haven't they noticed Shane Watson is an anagram of 'want no ashes'

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:41 AM

Just bought a copy of International Cricket 2010 for my Xbox, but the disc is broken.

I'm looking for Salman Butt now, I've heard he is f**king good at fixing cricket games.

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 07:42 AM

Kamran Akmal - from zero to hero and back to zero in 2.5 seconds.

Jadoo · 02-23-2011, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Domaink

Shoaib Akhtar has been invited to participate in Master Chef as it’s believed he can make a meal out of practically anything.

Originally Posted by Domaink

I'm always immensely proud when England win the Ashes. Coming first in a bi-annual two team competition, in a game we invented, against a country with a population a third the size of ours, about 25% of the time, is really something to cherish.

Originally Posted by Domaink

I think the Australians need to be more careful picking their cricket team line up.

haven't they noticed Shane Watson is an anagram of 'want no ashes'

Sachin=GOD · 02-23-2011, 01:45 PM

Nazi concentration camp commandant calls an Englishman, Australian and a Jew into his office."Ve are going to have a cricket match.
"He turns to the Englishman: "You vill be ze capitan of ze English team"
He turns to the Aussie: "You vill be ze capitan of ze Australian team"
"What"s my part in this then?" asks the Jew"
"You vill be ze ashes" says the commandant.

Sachin=GOD · 02-23-2011, 01:47 PM

My new cricket coach says it's mind blowing the way my balls swing but he would prefer if I wore trousers like everyone else.

mhr123 · 02-23-2011, 02:21 PM

1980's ---
Santa is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest...

First ball : Whizzes past Santa's off-stump. Santa doesn't move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper.

Second ball : Goes right over the Santa's bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Santa is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Santa, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Santa doesn't move a muscle.

Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Santa again doesn't move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper.

But this time, the umpire shouts "No Ball!"

Santa walks upto the umpire and tells him, "u phaccking retard,you discovered it now? You
see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!"

DomainK · 02-23-2011, 03:30 PM

Bookie approaches Pakistani cricketer:

Pak cricketer: What do you want?
Bookie: Got any no balls for me?
**** off, I can’t sell no balls. The ACSU is watching.
C'mon, dont be scared, show some balls.
What do you mean?
I mean you have no balls?
**** you. I have balls. I am pathan.

You have no balls.
I have balls.
What about no balls?
You have no balls.
Are you sure?
I am sure, I am telling you, you have no balls.
Thank you.

ACSU officer steps in “Step aside please; let me read you your rights.”

Pak Cricketer: "I see, it's all fixed."

ACSU Officer: Thanks for the confession.

gaurav92 · 02-24-2011, 02:31 AM

CricketWeekly · 02-24-2011, 07:43 AM

Hilarious

Cheers,

DomainK · 03-01-2011, 07:10 AM

Australian racism: Bloody English, coming to our country, taking our wickets.

DomainK · 03-01-2011, 07:11 AM

"ICC is investigating worrying reports of irregular betting patterns in the world cup. Some people are actually backing Australia"

DomainK · 03-01-2011, 07:15 AM

Santa asked Banta for help on a crossword puzzle the other day. It said "Pakistan (3,4 8,10...)". Banta said "stupid, that's not a crossword puzzle, that's yesterday's scorecard.

DomainK · 03-01-2011, 07:16 AM

I heard on the news yesterday that the Pakistani Cricket players involved in the match fixing scandal had been charged.

Imagine my disappointment when I found out it wasn't with 50,000 volts.

DomainK · 03-01-2011, 07:17 AM

The Bangladeshis should stop calling their batsmen tigers. They should be called ducks.

02-22-2011, 10:28 AM	#1
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Cricket jokes Since the world cup fever is on, lets have some cricket fun. I will try not to repeat the old jokes..
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:29 AM	#2
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Cricket - A sport that requires five days of consecutive sunshine. Invented in........ England.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:30 AM	#3
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	I bumped into Steve Bucknor in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you gave Sachin Tendulkar out in that match? I mean, two Star Sports pundits were..." "Yeah yeah," he interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know." So I explained the LBW rule.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:34 AM	#4
Sachin=GOD *100* Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: India Posts: 15,981 $ICF: 99,315,787,051	Gandhi's last words were - "Hey Ram". Ponting's last words would be "Hey Laxman
	“When people throw stones at you, you turn them into milestones” Sachin Tendulkar

02-22-2011, 10:38 AM	#5
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Ricky Ponting walks into a library. The librarian raises his index finger and says, "Out!" _____________________________________________________ Ricky Ponting walks into a library and says "Do you have any books on the Ashes"? The Librarian says; "**** off, mate. You won't bring 'em back!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ricky Ponting walks into a library and asks "Do you have any books on Australian cricketers?" The librarian says "They are all out." Last edited by DomainK : 02-22-2011 at 11:33 AM.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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02-22-2011, 10:39 AM	#7
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Originally Posted by Sachin=GOD Gandhi's last words were - "Hey Ram". Ponting's last words would be "Hey Laxman
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:41 AM	#8
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	What do you call a group of cows? A herd. What do you call a group of ducks? Pakistani batsmen.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:42 AM	#11
Sachin=GOD *100* Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: India Posts: 15,981 $ICF: 99,315,787,051	Originally Posted by Domaink What do you call a group of cows? A herd. What do you call a group of ducks? Pakistani batsmen. Originally Posted by Domaink Apparently on winning the toss Strauss said to Ponting "You can bat", to which Ricky replied "You think so? Thanks for the encouragement." !
	“When people throw stones at you, you turn them into milestones” Sachin Tendulkar

02-22-2011, 10:44 AM	#12
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	I went to Shahid Afridi’s place to watch a cricket match. Midway I walked upto the fridge, pulled a pepsi bottle out and asked “mate, got any opener?” He gave me a death stare, chewed the crown off the bottle and said “No, but I make it up with my teeth.” Last edited by DomainK : 02-22-2011 at 10:59 AM.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-22-2011, 10:46 AM	#13
EnterTheVoid Viddy well little brother Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 10,190 $ICF: 866,696	Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock: "Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones"
	http://indiancricketfans.com/showthread.php?t=290322

02-22-2011, 01:21 PM	#14
Jadoo It's coming home baby!!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: London, England Posts: 1,182 $ICF: 954,802,555	Originally Posted by sree_india Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock: "Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones"
	Some Say The Glass Is Half Full Some Say The Glass Is Half Empty I Say Are You Gonna Drink That Mate

02-23-2011, 04:35 AM	#15
gaurav92 SRT = GOD Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: ICF Posts: 21,703 $ICF: 123,735,668,746 My Blog	Originally Posted by Sachin=GOD 4 captains are standing in a room boasting about their teams batting skills: austrailian captain: hum to sirf 6 marte hain; england captain: hum to sirf 4 marte hain; indian captain: (sees the best has been taken so shrugs and says): hum to bhai style marte hain; everyone looks at the relaxed pakistani captain who says: hum to seedha coach marte hain!! Originally Posted by Domaink I went to Shahid Afridi’s place to watch a cricket match. Midway I walked upto the fridge, pulled a pepsi bottle out and asked “mate, got any opener?” He gave me a death stare, chewed the crown off the bottle and said “No, but I make it up with my teeth.” Originally Posted by sree_india Batsmen sledges Dwayne Leverock: "Mate, you're so fat, you need two wrist watches, one on each hand coz you're in two different timezones" Originally Posted by Domaink Apparently on winning the toss Strauss said to Ponting "You can bat", to which Ricky replied "You think so? Thanks for the encouragement." ! Originally Posted by Domaink I bumped into Steve Bucknor in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you gave Sachin Tendulkar out in that match? I mean, two Star Sports pundits were..." "Yeah yeah," he interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know." So I explained the LBW rule.
	"Commit all your Crimes when Sachin is Batting because at that time even The Lord is watching" Click here to relive some glorious moments in Cricket

02-23-2011, 04:54 AM	#16
gaurav92 SRT = GOD Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: ICF Posts: 21,703 $ICF: 123,735,668,746 My Blog	The standard of batting in the local side was very low. Even at the net practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, the captain rushed forward and grabbed the bat. 'Now bowl me some fast ones!' he yelled. Six fast balls came down in quick succession and the captain missed them all. Not to be put off he glared at the team and shouted, 'Now that's what you're all doing. Get in there and hit them!' ______________________________________________________________________________________ Michael Clarke called Ricky into his room and said 'We've got some very tough matches coming up,' he said, 'and I wanted to talk to you because we need someone with an Iron nerve, a strong constitution and great skill in the side. That's why I'm asking you to resign.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Salman Butt said to the bowler, 'Give me an easy one, will you? I bet a fellow in the crowd five pounds that I'd score four runs.' The bowler did so and the batsman hit it to the boundary. Straight away, he walked for the pavilion. 'You're not out,' said the bowler, 'Where are you going?' He yelled back: 'I'm going to find the chap who bet me!'
	"Commit all your Crimes when Sachin is Batting because at that time even The Lord is watching" Click here to relive some glorious moments in Cricket

02-23-2011, 05:00 AM	#17
gaurav92 SRT = GOD Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: ICF Posts: 21,703 $ICF: 123,735,668,746 My Blog	During the match, A Paki batsman heard a cry from the crowd 'Smith, Smith Your house is on fire!' He dropped his bat and ran off the field, through the crowd and into the road. Breathlessly, he pounded along and then stopped. 'Why am I running?' he said. 'My name's not Smith!'
	"Commit all your Crimes when Sachin is Batting because at that time even The Lord is watching" Click here to relive some glorious moments in Cricket

02-23-2011, 07:05 AM	#18
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	It's a lovely day here at Lord's. Pakistan have won the toss and decided to bet.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:15 AM	#19
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Shoaib Akhtar has been invited to participate in Master Chef as it’s believed he can make a meal out of practically anything.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:16 AM	#20
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	So Muralitharan has taken 800 test wickets. Isn't it about time they stopped testing him and let him take some real wickets?
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:17 AM	#21
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Where does the English cricket team stay during a tour of South Africa? With their parents.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:18 AM	#22
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	I'm always immensely proud when England win the Ashes. Coming first in a bi-annual two team competition, in a game we invented, against a country with a population a third the size of ours, about 25% of the time, is really something to cherish.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:21 AM	#23
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Taking a clue from the Americans, the Aussi's have blamed a website for their recent defeat in the Ashes. It's called 'Wicketleaks'
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:22 AM	#25
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	What's the difference between Tarzan and the Australian cricket team? Tarzan could reverse swing.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:38 AM	#26
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	I think the Australians need to be more careful picking their cricket team line up. haven't they noticed Shane Watson is an anagram of 'want no ashes'
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:41 AM	#27
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Just bought a copy of International Cricket 2010 for my Xbox, but the disc is broken. I'm looking for Salman Butt now, I've heard he is f**king good at fixing cricket games.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 07:42 AM	#28
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Kamran Akmal - from zero to hero and back to zero in 2.5 seconds.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-23-2011, 09:37 AM	#29
Jadoo It's coming home baby!!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: London, England Posts: 1,182 $ICF: 954,802,555	Originally Posted by Domaink Shoaib Akhtar has been invited to participate in Master Chef as it’s believed he can make a meal out of practically anything. Originally Posted by Domaink I'm always immensely proud when England win the Ashes. Coming first in a bi-annual two team competition, in a game we invented, against a country with a population a third the size of ours, about 25% of the time, is really something to cherish. Originally Posted by Domaink I think the Australians need to be more careful picking their cricket team line up. haven't they noticed Shane Watson is an anagram of 'want no ashes'
	Some Say The Glass Is Half Full Some Say The Glass Is Half Empty I Say Are You Gonna Drink That Mate

02-23-2011, 01:45 PM	#30
Sachin=GOD *100* Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: India Posts: 15,981 $ICF: 99,315,787,051	Nazi concentration camp commandant calls an Englishman, Australian and a Jew into his office."Ve are going to have a cricket match. "He turns to the Englishman: "You vill be ze capitan of ze English team" He turns to the Aussie: "You vill be ze capitan of ze Australian team" "What"s my part in this then?" asks the Jew" "You vill be ze ashes" says the commandant.
	“When people throw stones at you, you turn them into milestones” Sachin Tendulkar

02-23-2011, 01:47 PM	#31
Sachin=GOD *100* Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: India Posts: 15,981 $ICF: 99,315,787,051	My new cricket coach says it's mind blowing the way my balls swing but he would prefer if I wore trousers like everyone else.
	“When people throw stones at you, you turn them into milestones” Sachin Tendulkar

02-23-2011, 02:21 PM	#32
mhr123 The Legend Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 7,716 $ICF: 65,616,776	1980's --- Santa is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest... First ball : Whizzes past Santa's off-stump. Santa doesn't move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Santa's bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Santa is again unmoved. Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Santa, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Santa doesn't move a muscle. Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Santa again doesn't move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts "No Ball!" Santa walks upto the umpire and tells him, "u phaccking retard,you discovered it now? You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!"
	“SHUT UP AND SQUAT” Tears Will get u Sympathy Sweat Will get u Results. Deadlift will make you cry like a woman , but will make you Man

02-23-2011, 03:30 PM	#33
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Bookie approaches Pakistani cricketer: Pak cricketer: What do you want? Bookie: Got any no balls for me? ** off, I can’t sell no balls. The ACSU is watching. C'mon, dont be scared, show some balls. What do you mean? I mean you have no balls? ** you. I have balls. I am pathan. You have no balls. I have balls. What about no balls? You have no balls. Are you sure? I am sure, I am telling you, you have no balls. Thank you. ACSU officer steps in “Step aside please; let me read you your rights.” Pak Cricketer: "I see, it's all fixed." ACSU Officer: Thanks for the confession. Last edited by DomainK : 02-23-2011 at 03:38 PM.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

02-24-2011, 02:31 AM	#34
gaurav92 SRT = GOD Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: ICF Posts: 21,703 $ICF: 123,735,668,746 My Blog	^
	"Commit all your Crimes when Sachin is Batting because at that time even The Lord is watching" Click here to relive some glorious moments in Cricket

02-24-2011, 07:43 AM	#35
CricketWeekly Turbanator Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 15 $ICF: 689	Hilarious Cheers, Last edited by Moderator : 05-23-2011 at 11:54 AM.

03-01-2011, 07:10 AM	#36
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Australian racism: Bloody English, coming to our country, taking our wickets.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

03-01-2011, 07:11 AM	#37
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	"ICC is investigating worrying reports of irregular betting patterns in the world cup. Some people are actually backing Australia"
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

03-01-2011, 07:15 AM	#38
DomainK The best. Ever. Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 26,090 $ICF: 452,727,730	Santa asked Banta for help on a crossword puzzle the other day. It said "Pakistan (3,4 8,10...)". Banta said "stupid, that's not a crossword puzzle, that's yesterday's scorecard.
	A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.