Play 10-15 balls while batting before getting out to a daft shot (on account of not having the fitness or the temperament to play the long game), then chill in the pavilion for the rest of the day.
chomp on some Vadapavs during lunch and tea, no need to watch your weight coz kiwi ka baap bhi kuch nahi bigad sakta tera
While fielding stand at slips all day, coz of limited fitness, that’s the only place you can field. Set the most defensive fields known to man for every new batter that comes in. Bowlers produce edges and false shots but lack of close in fielders means you can’t capitalise.
Start panicking that you picked extra batting all rounders to cowardly cover for your failures with the bat, bowl Bumrah into the ground (but in press conference say that you’re managing his workload well)
after eventual loss take zero responsibility and throw youngsters under the bus