Yoda-esque Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 ^ seems like a Mallu weddding. Cringeworthy Probably telugu,malayalee weddings are minimalist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alam_dar Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 It seems to me that different groups of people have different types of complaints: (1) The First Group is of "conservative Desi people". They have this complaint that modern marriages have lost the "traditions/religious" touch, and have become "vulgar" (i.e. bride dancing in her own marriage). And West/Bollywood is responsible for this vulgarity in their eyes. I was once watching a film of marriage party of one of my friend, and his bride was sitting there with eyes OPEN, and laughing on the stage with others. My another friend (a traditionalist) had this complain that girls of Pakistan have lost "Sharm (modesty)", while traditionally brides in Pakistan used to sit on the stage with closed eyes (or at least looking downwards) all the time, and they were not laughing and talking with others. This incident happened about 20 years ago. But I think it has become OK now-a-days, even in Pakistani society, that girls don't sit quietly with eyes closed on the stage any more. In India too, with time it will become normal that brides will be dancing even during the Phairas around the Agni. (2) The second group worries about the "expenditure" in the marriages On 3/4/2021 at 1:54 AM, Khota said: Problem is it puts pressure on others who cant afford it. It seems to me that this problem is also very much limited to the "desi society". We have extreme problem of being a Jaati oriented society. Thus hundreds and thousands of people are being invited in the marriage ceremonies. As compared to this, Western society does not have such a close family/extended family/Jaati system. Therefore numbers of guests in marriage ceremonies are often very limited. Actually, it has become common in West that only bride and bridegroom go to any other country, and marry there even without even their close family members. And their families also have full understanding of this fact that only bride and bridegroom matters in a marriage and they don't become angry if they are not invited in the marriage ceremony. In this way, western people are able to save a lot of money at their marriages. While people in India are still angry upon Kohli of not getting married in India. I disagree with this approach. For me, people should get full liberty of choosing where to marry and how to marry. Again our traditional desi marriages have still got the huge problem of dowry too. This is an extra Burdon. I just hope our societies evolve and some day we get rid of this evil completely. Actually I have this feeling that the modern non-traditional families in our society (i.e. the so called followers of the West), have already evolved to some extent, and dowry is not a big issue any more for them. Conclusion: Please don't call me a Western Agent, but I feel myself more comfortable with the Western Culture regarding marriages, where people have a lot of liberties and they are not judged by others too much. All the changes that come from West/Bollywood are not evil. There are somethings which are also good, and actually our desi culture have to evolve and learn something from it. Chakdephatte 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Yeah....how dare the bride enjoy her own marriage,she should be sad and shy ....the decay of society indeed. Mariyam, Yoda-esque and EnterTheVoid 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonbeliever Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 What's sad is some people sacrifice/save for whole life for that one occasion just to match the foolishness of others. Let ultra rich boost the economy and sensible people should invest in better future then this dramebaazi increasing day by day. Khota, beetle, Cricketics and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diga Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 2 hours ago, beetle said: Yeah....how dare the bride enjoy her own marriage,she should be sad and shy ....the decay of society indeed. I dont have a problem with the bride enjoying it. But that dance seems cringeworthy more like an ad for jeweler shop beetle and coffee_rules 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 2 hours ago, diga said: I dont have a problem with the bride enjoying it. But that dance seems cringeworthy more like an ad for jeweler shop One man's cringe is another (wo)man's fun factor. Khota 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khota Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 On 3/22/2021 at 8:38 AM, Vilander said: Not body shamming - but he looks like a drug addict who is now a TB patient as well - if marriage does not make him gain weight i dont know what will, feel sorry for him. That is body shaming and he looks good and fit. 90% of desis have belly fat which looks terrible(including me). He does not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alam_dar Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 3 hours ago, diga said: I dont have a problem with the bride enjoying it. But that dance seems cringeworthy more like an ad for jeweler shop Exactly this is my point. This feeling of being cringeworthy will go away with time, as it becomes more and more a fashion. It is WE, the humans, who make these "CUSTOMS" ourselves. And when one goes against these customs through our actions, then we get this feeling that these new actions are cringeworthy. In Europe, it was hundreds/thousands of years old tradition that women and men were dancing together with hands in hands (at least the European Monarchs were dancing in this way). While it was a total NO NO in our traditional society. But with time, it has become so common in our culture too, that he have stopped getting this feeling any more that it is cringeworthy. It is difficult to get out of this traditional culture, but modern era is giving lot of liberties to the individuals and making them free for religious/traditional practices. Chakdephatte 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanted_desi Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Its all good as long as poor parents aren't pressurized to spend all of their saving, which is case most of the times. Sponsor your own wedding!!!! beetle, Cricketics and Laaloo 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted March 28, 2021 Author Share Posted March 28, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, beetle said: Yeah....how dare the bride enjoy her own marriage,she should be sad and shy ....the decay of society indeed. Nobody is having a problem with the party. A lot of people do it every Fri/ Sat. But. Phere mein koun nachte hain yaar? Mantra paath havan chalne ke samay. Thoda to laaj banta hain. It will s the extreme that is bein mocked. Edited March 28, 2021 by coffee_rules Laaloo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikred Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Exactly this is my point. This feeling of being cringeworthy will go away with time, as it becomes more and more a fashion. It is WE, the humans, who make these "CUSTOMS" ourselves. And when one goes against these customs through our actions, then we get this feeling that these new actions are cringeworthy. In Europe, it was hundreds/thousands of years old tradition that women and men were dancing together with hands in hands (at least the European Monarchs were dancing in this way). While it was a total NO NO in our traditional society. But with time, it has become so common in our culture too, that he have stopped getting this feeling any more that it is cringeworthy. It is difficult to get out of this traditional culture, but modern era is giving lot of liberties to the individuals and making them free for religious/traditional practices. Chicha....when it comes to Indian weddings and dancing the Europeans have lot of catching up to do. Sent from my SM-M315F using Tapatalk Clarke 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 23 minutes ago, coffee_rules said: Nobody is having a problem with the party. A lot of people do it every Fri/ Sat. But. Phere mein koun nachte hain yaar? Mantra paath havan chalne ke samay. Thoda to laaj banta hain. It will s the extreme that is bein mocked. Arey bhai....to each his own. Indians ki generally ek hi baar hoti hai shaadi... let them do what they want to do. apni apni shaadi mein jo karna hai karo.... if I had a choice...I would have run away and eloped. Arranged type thi....so I did not know much about husband. He told me...pehle kyun ni bataya....bhag jaate wanted_desi, Alam_dar, Mariyam and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Eff off pandu! coffee_rules and Clarke 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Sorry ...wrong thread coffee_rules 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarke Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 (edited) Theory of relativity, eh Edited March 28, 2021 by Clarke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vilander Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Too much Hindi in this thread feels like a fish market please keep is civil and post in English pls. beetle and Laaloo 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordPrabhzy Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 11 hours ago, Vilander said: Too much Hindi in this thread feels like a fish market please keep is civil and post in English pls. So according to you Hindi speakers are uncouth and barbarians? Chakdephatte 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeepSpace Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 On 3/3/2021 at 5:54 PM, Khota said: Problem is it puts pressure on others who cant afford it. On 3/3/2021 at 6:52 PM, EnterTheVoid said: When a family friend's son got married, the bride's side gifted him an Audi R8 as an engagement present. As for the wedding itself, they flew in members of the Cirque Du Soleil to perform. This was in 2011. They were a rich Reddy family. The gultis are big on dowry! Alam_dar, beetle and Khota 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alam_dar Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 1 hour ago, LordPrabhzy said: So according to you Hindi speakers are uncouth and barbarians? I don't see any problem in @Vilander 's post. I myself use Urdu/Hindi words during discussions as I am very comfortable with it. But still I could imagine that not all people are able to understand these Urdu/Hindi words within an English Post, and they feel uncomfortable to read and understand such discussion. When word civil has been used, then we should limit it only in meaning of using only English words. It does not automatically mean that Hindi speakers are barbarians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariyam Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I really don't understand the very in your face condescending attitude in this thread by some of the posters. "Oh the poor and the middle class spend their entire earnings to put on a show. There is so much peer pressure to spend a lot on weddings" Do you all think that the people who spend a huge chunk of their savings/take loans are incapable of any thought? It's their money and years of hard work on the line, most of them *would have* done their due diligence. Chakdephatte 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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