BacktoCricaddict Posted August 16, 2022 Share Posted August 16, 2022 19 hours ago, coffee_rules said: domestic help for the house, cook, driver etc In this aspect, I am the complete opposite. Managing domestic help and having non-family members hover around all the time makes me very uncomfortable. After I moved to the US and experienced the independence of being able to do everything on my own - from cooking for the family to raising my own garden without Ramu Kaka's help ... and most importantly ... driving in privacy, I SMH every time I go back and see my mom use her self-taught management skills juggling all these personnel. Nope, not for me. ravishingravi and Mariyam 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bharathh Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 On 8/16/2022 at 3:58 AM, coffee_rules said: QoL is all but a mirage. It’s all upto where one is happy. I tried to move back in 2015 and I didn’t experience any QoL issues except maybe traffic. Lived in a gated community close to work, was near to family and cousins . Had all comforts of domestic help for the house, cook, driver etc , 24 hr electricity, water, close to hospitals and clinics. Went on vacations to places you’d dream of. Except for kids’ schooling, I was much happy there than here in those two years. Had I gone 10 years earlier, it would have been easy on kids. Back here, in Covid times, had a recent health scare, surgery was delayed due to no hospital beds, overcrowded with Covid cases. If everything is ok, it looks very good. If sh1t hits the fan, anyplace can be as bad. QoL IMO is dependent on the person. What I really miss in Bangalore is good roads. Another thing that gets my goat is garbage and litter. However, those aside my child and family has a much better life than i had in the US. Glad I moved back when I did. coffee_rules 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted August 17, 2022 Author Share Posted August 17, 2022 18 hours ago, BacktoCricaddict said: In this aspect, I am the complete opposite. Managing domestic help and having non-family members hover around all the time makes me very uncomfortable. After I moved to the US and experienced the independence of being able to do everything on my own - from cooking for the family to raising my own garden without Ramu Kaka's help ... and most importantly ... driving in privacy, I SMH every time I go back and see my mom use her self-taught management skills juggling all these personnel. Nope, not for me. Was making a point on a perspective of QoL. Didn’t have personal hover around all the time with live-in staff, but once a day for an hour. Had employed a drivers for long drives. Had an accident once while driving once from Bengaluru to Hyderabad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoCricaddict Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 18 minutes ago, coffee_rules said: Was making a point on a perspective of QoL. Didn’t have personal hover around all the time with live-in staff, but once a day for an hour. Had employed a drivers for long drives. For sure, you are more of a people-person than I am (most people are), so our perspectives differ :-). Had an accident once while driving once from Bengaluru to Hyderabad That's scary. Glad you are okay. coffee_rules 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravishingravi Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 On 8/16/2022 at 7:39 PM, BacktoCricaddict said: In this aspect, I am the complete opposite. Managing domestic help and having non-family members hover around all the time makes me very uncomfortable. After I moved to the US and experienced the independence of being able to do everything on my own - from cooking for the family to raising my own garden without Ramu Kaka's help ... and most importantly ... driving in privacy, I SMH every time I go back and see my mom use her self-taught management skills juggling all these personnel. Nope, not for me. This is so true. But on flip side, I also appreciate these connections that one makes which breaks social / class demarcations. It creates a sense of community. For instance, children of housemaid are part of family. We take care of their education and their upliftment is top priority for all of us. Its one thing to give money to NGO. But being too exclusive can also make one rather aloof too. BacktoCricaddict 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoCricaddict Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 11 minutes ago, ravishingravi said: This is so true. But on flip side, I also appreciate these connections that one makes which breaks social / class demarcations. It creates a sense of community. For instance, children of housemaid are part of family. We take care of their education and their upliftment is top priority for all of us. Its one thing to give money to NGO. But being too exclusive can also make one rather aloof too. True ... that's why there is Xoom. I had this attitude even when I was growing up. I refused to let the domestic help lady wash my clothes or the plate in which I ate. Does having domestic help really break social/class demarcations? While the driver and domestic help were all treated as "family," there was always an invisible power line - you are the boss and they can be fired at any point. I would always question why we they don't "sit on our sofa" when they drank chai? Or dine with us when they drove us to a fancy restaurant? The power structure (I didn't know that term then) was clear and it made me super-uncomfortable. Still does. diga 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_rules Posted August 17, 2022 Author Share Posted August 17, 2022 2 hours ago, BacktoCricaddict said: True ... that's why there is Xoom. I had this attitude even when I was growing up. I refused to let the domestic help lady wash my clothes or the plate in which I ate. Does having domestic help really break social/class demarcations? While the driver and domestic help were all treated as "family," there was always an invisible power line - you are the boss and they can be fired at any point. I would always question why we they don't "sit on our sofa" when they drank chai? Or dine with us when they drove us to a fancy restaurant? The power structure (I didn't know that term then) was clear and it made me super-uncomfortable. Still does. Money doesn’t always help. The woman who came to our house looks st her husband, she had a daughter, same age as ours. She would play with my daughter and we gave her all books , comic books, stationery etc and it kind of helped. The lady would never clean the toilets as it is our job and did laundry in a washing m/c. No separate cups for coffee/tea. People can break that power structure barrier. ravishingravi, BacktoCricaddict and Clarke 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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