Strictly 18+

[Don Sharma]

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

A man flies to Africa to track down a medicine man with a cure for impotency. The medicine man instructs, "You will now have three chances for an amazing erection. When you say or hear 'Towomba,' you'll experience a massive erection, but when you say or hear 'Sobiga,' you'll lose the erection. Remember, only three chances!" The man flies out of Africa and on the plane, the pilot announces, "Thank you for flying with us at Towomba Airlines." Immediately the man has an erection and says, "Sobiga," to lose the erection. Upon landing, the pilot announces, "Thank you once again for flying with us at Towomba Airlines, hope you had a pleasant flight." Once again, the man has an erection and has to say, "Sobiga." Knowing he has one chance left, he rushes to his girlfriend. He strips off his clothes, says, "Towomba," and gets a massive erection. When his girlfriend sees his enlarged penis, she says, "Wow, so big... ah!"

A college psychology class was studing human reaction to sexual stimulus and of special interest was the frequency of amorous relations. ''How many students here,'' said the professor, ''engage more than once a week?'' Five people raised their hands. ''And how many engage once a week?'' Ten hands went up. ''How many twice a month?'' Eight hands went up. ''Once a month?'' Four hands were raised. ''And how many once a year?'' A little guy in the back waved his hand frantically and giggled hysterically. ''If you engage only once a year,'' said the professor, ''I don't see what you're so overjoyed about.'' Flush with excitement, the little guy said, ''Yeah, but tonight's the night!''

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget." They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate. Later, as she is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, I know it's getting late, but I think we can do it one more time." "That's easy for you to say," she complains. "You don't have to get up in the morning."

:cantstop:

[SachDan]

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget." They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate. Later, as she is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, I know it's getting late, but I think we can do it one more time." "That's easy for you to say," she complains. "You don't have to get up in the morning."

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Dark Warrior]

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget." They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate. Later, as she is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, I know it's getting late, but I think we can do it one more time." "That's easy for you to say," she complains. "You don't have to get up in the morning.

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

[Don Sharma]

A guy and a girl are in a heavy make out session when the girl asks the guy to put his finger inside her. He does. She asks him to put two fingers inside. He does. She asks him to put his whole hand in. He does. Then, she asks him to put in his other hand and clap. He puts in the other hand, but he can't clap. She smiles, "Tight, huh? I told you I was a virgin!" There was a woman and her husband. They were happily married except for the fact that the husband never gave his wife any money.One day, a friend of the husband's comes over while the wife was taking a shower. He rings the doorbell and the wife comes out, wrapped in a towel. He asks, "Is your husband home?" She answers, "No, but he'll back in about 30 minutes. You can stay and wait for him if you want." The friend agrees and enters the house. As the wife is about to enter the bedroom the friend says, "If you flash me I'll give you a hundred dollars." The wife thinks about it, and decides that she does need some money of her own. So she agrees and flashes him. She was about to leave the room when he says, "If you model nude for me until your husband gets home, I'll give you two hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees. A couple of minutes later he says, "If you have sex with me, I'll give you three hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees. After the sex, he leaves, saying he had other buisness to get to. She thinks happily about the six hundred dollars and what she would do with it. Her husband comes home and she says, "Honey, your friend came over today." He replies, "Oh? Did he have the six hundred dollars he owed me?" Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally found one for a great price, but it was missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he would have to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should''ve been. His girlfriend was having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He rode his new bike to her house, where she was outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don''t say a word." She told him, "Our family had a fight awhile ago about doing dishes. We haven''t done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sat down for dinner and it was just how she described it. Dishes were piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody was saying a word. So Steve decided to have a little fun. He grabbed his girlfriend, threw her on the table, and had sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend was a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sat back down, but no one said a word. A few minutes later he grabbed her mom, threw her on the table, and did a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend was furious, her dad was boiling, and her mother was a little happier. But still there was complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there was a loud clap of thunder, and it started to rain. Steve remembered his motorcycle. He jumped up and grabbed his jar of Vaseline. When he witnesses this, his girlfriend''s father backed away from the table and screamed, "Okay, enough already, I''ll do the goddam dishes!"

:cantstop:

[gaurav92]

^^^^^^^^^ :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: