CricketGirl Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 He said .. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . ....... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said .. .......That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . ....... Why don't you tell me when you have an orga$m? She said . . .. I would but you're never there. He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said .. . We don't know; it has never happened. He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends. She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? He said . . . A widow. He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women? She said . .... . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley's Girl Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Nice ones CG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 He said .. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . ....... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said .. .......That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . ....... Why don't you tell me when you have an orga? She said . . .. I would but you're never there. He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said .. . We don't know; it has never happened. He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends. She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? He said . . . A widow. He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women? She said . .... . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. :haha::haha::haha::haha::two_thumbs_up: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 "It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'" ------------------------------------ "Race is just a pigment of the imagination" -------------------------------------- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. --------------------------------- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. ------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began,"you've been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed,"When do we get started?" :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dial_100 Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Truely good ones.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sachinrox Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 nice ones Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhr123 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 What Is The Difference Between Stress, Tension And Panic? Stess Is When Wife Is Pregnant, Tension Is When Girlfriend Is Pregnant, Panic Is When Both Are Pegnant :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhr123 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Man Marries A Deaf Girl. On Their First Night He Write A Code For The Sex If I Want Sex I’ll Squeeze Your Breast,In Response You Can Pull My d1ck Once For Yes And 50 Times For No. :D ____________________________________________________________________________________ Ek Bar Ek Sardar Ji Ko Political Rally Mein Police Ne Pakkad Liya…. Kyunki, Ek Ladki Apni Chest Pe Ek Badge Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Sardar Ji Ne Press Kar Diya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhr123 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Sardar Ji: “Carpenter Bed Zara Majboot Banana Mere Munde Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.” Carpenter: “Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Kuch Nahi Tutega.“ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley's Girl Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 The jokes here are getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 mhr is good with his adult jokes. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhr123 Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Ek Banda Bus Mein Safar Kar Raha Thha Aur Ciggerete Pee Raha Thha. Conducter Bola: “No Smoking Ka Board Nahi Dikhta Kya?” Man Replied: “Uske Side Mein ‘Always Wear Condome’ Ka Bhi Board Laga Hai, Vo Bhi Laga Ke Bethoo“ :nervous: =========================== Ek Bus Mein College Ke Ladko Aur Ladkiyo Ki Team Ek Trip Mein Jaa Rahi Thhi, Raste Mein Vo Bore Na Ho To Vo Antakshari Khelne Ke Liye Tyaar Ho Gaye. Girls: “Hum Tumko Harakar Dikhayenge..” Boys: “Hum Haar Gaye, Chalo Ab Dikhao“ :winky: =============================== Ek Ladki Ka Rape Ka Case Court Mein Chal Raha Thha Judge: “Jab Tumhara Rape Ho Raha Thha Tab Tum Kesa Mehsus Kar Rahi Thi?” Ladki: “Laddu Agar Jabardasti Se Bhi Khilaya Jaye To Meetha Hi Lagta Hai.“ :omg: =============================== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. ---------------------- Santa: Why have you left an empty milk carton in the fridge? Preeto: That’s if someone wants his coffee black. ----------------------- Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can't b heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls?? ----------------------------- Why did the history teacher get angry? Because his wife asked "Anything new at work?" --------------------------------- Santa: What is the main reason of divorce? Banta: Marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Preeto to Santa: "Santa, I am in love with you. Will you marry me?" Santa: No, thanks. In our family we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on. Hope you understand !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 What would confuse a mentally challenged person? Answer: A pineapple. Confused...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg. The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog. A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!". The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW! -------------------------------------------- How come The Hulk's shirt came off, but never his pants? --------------------------------------------------- Why don't homeless people just deal drugs? What's the worst that can happen? They get sentenced to food and shelter? ------------------------------------------- Is it fast-food because they cook it fast or because we eat it fast? --------------------------------------- If you publish a book on curing kleptomania, should you expect a certain amount of profit loss? ---------------------------------------- What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire? --------------------------------------- Are there crash courses on how to fly? ---------------------------------------- Where does the "o" come from when we abbreviate "number"? --------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes ----------------------------------------- What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale? A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..." ------------------------------------------ Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"? It comes with Ken's car and Ken's bungalow. -------------------------------------------- What was the witches' favorite subject in school? Spelling. ---------------------------------------------- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts ----------------------------------------------- Santa's credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it. The thief was spending less than his wife did --------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!" "Sit down and I'll deal with you later." "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!" "What's come over you?" "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Pull yourself together!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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