Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I don't fear my dad! My family has just had to deal with a lot of shyt over the last few years and I don't want to add to that. I'm willing to compromise to protect my family. Does that mean I don't live my life? I hope so. As the oldest child I feel responsible for taking away some of the worry in my parents' lives. They have been there for me through some pretty bad times and I know I can always count on them. 1) You have to ask yourself whether you live your life or not. I cannot answer that. My mother wanted to learn music, her father considered it a waste of time. She lost a great opportunity in life as she could really sing very well. Did she live her life? She was the eldest daughter too. She did what was best for the family. 2) Supporting your parents is one thing and subordinating your will to that of your father is another. In what way is your father affected if you are in a live-in relationship? Absolutely none. I am not asking you to disrespect your family, I am asking you to analyze what you are saying in the right context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yes very much so i think desi girls are more aware of this than non desis but again its personal choice not pressure!! your point about the 23 yr old, again personal choice but it does lead me to question what sort of relationship she has with her family that leads her to not think about them (assuming they have conservative views too) about Parents ? It depends on the relationship and how much importance parents gave to kids .... (im talking about taking care of parents ).. for selecting partners, people usually ask friends-family before taking a decesion so if you are close to your parents then chances are that you'll give more importance to their opinion. Beyond that its upto every individual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 This is intellectual dishonesty. You are using a populist notion to derail a debate. Men Vs Women is not the context of this thread. no its not i agree but the lack of women in this thread means my argument is not supported as much as i'd like at the end of the day facts speak for themselves Marlize, Riya and myself are examples of women to put it correctly are "just not THAT TYPE of girls" and it is our morals, family respect etc that keeps us that was - again i cannot emphasise enough that this is personal choice and free will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yes very much so i think desi girls are more aware of this than non desis but again its personal choice not pressure!! You are generalising. Clearly this is not true and you have already conceded that earlier in the thread. your point about the 23 yr old' date=' again personal choice but it does lead me to question what sort of relationship she has with her family that leads her to not think about them (assuming they have conservative views too)[/quote'] Her relationship with her parents is irrelevent to her relationship with other men. This point doesn't make any sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 about Parents ? It depends on the relationship and how much importance parents gave to kids .... (im talking about taking care of parents ).. for selecting partners' date=' people usually ask friends-family before taking a decesion so if you are close to your parents then chances are that you'll give more importance to their opinion. Beyond that its upto every individual.[/quote'] exactly the reason it leads me to question the relationship that ur example has with their friends and family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You are generalising. Clearly this is not true and you have already conceded that earlier in the thread. Her relationship with her parents is irrelevent to her relationship with other men. This point doesn't make any sense. of course its relevent as often this relationship with family is what shapes or personalities, influences the decisions we make - including relationships with men! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 no its not i agree but the lack of women in this thread means my argument is not supported as much as i'd like at the end of the day facts speak for themselves Marlize' date=' Riya and myself are examples of women to put it correctly are "just not THAT TYPE of girls" and it is our morals, family respect etc that keeps us that was - again i cannot emphasise enough that this is personal choice and free will![/quote'] Some of the guys supported your "moral", "family respect" yada yada too. It was not just the women. Don't form cliques, make your own argument. You linked sex to free will, I didn't. You initial point was morality and I told you it was irrelevant for a sexual relationship. What is "THAT TYPE" of girls? This completely pisses me off. You are being dishonest in your debate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 of course its relevent as often this relationship with family is what shapes or personalities' date=' influences the decisions we make - including relationships with men![/quote'] Maybe. My relationship with my family doesn't have any implications on my relationship with women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Some of the guys supported your "moral", "family respect" yada yada too. It was not just the women. Don't form cliques, make your own argument. You linked sex to free will, I didn't. You initial point was morality and I told you it was irrelevant for a sexual relationship. What is "THAT TYPE" of girls? This completely pisses me off. You are being dishonest in your debate. can you explain why this p*sses you off and where is the dishonesty?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Maybe. My relationship with my family doesn't have any implications on my relationship with women. its good that you detach the two from each other but not everyone is like you, in the same way that not all women are the same either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 can you explain why this p*sses you off and where is the dishonesty?? 1) It pisses me off because you say "THAT TYPE" of women. Which is a callous statement. 2) Let me list the dishonesty - A) You said desi women have a higher moral ground that non-desi women - not true, since you have been unable to prove any such thing. You just proved they fear social retribution more. B) You said you respect your friends who make such choices then you proceeded to use the term "THAT TYPE", clearly you look down on them. C) You keep harping on respect for family and therefore higher moral ground whereas you have been unable to establish any such link. This is dishonest in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shivani Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 pre marital sex is immoral :(( irrespective of who approves of it or who doesn't, whether a desi girl or a firangi(or non desi) Pre marital sex is a strict NO ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 pre marital sex is immoral :(( irrespective of who approves of it or who doesn't, whether a desi girl or a firangi(or non desi) Pre marital sex is a strict NO ! Haram warning :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 1) It pisses me off because you say "THAT TYPE" of women. Which is a callous statement. 2) Let me list the dishonesty - A) You said desi women have a higher moral ground that non-desi women - not true, since you have been unable to prove any such thing. You just proved they fear social retribution more. B) You said you respect your friends who make such choices then you proceeded to use the term "THAT TYPE", clearly you look down on them. C) You keep harping on respect for family and therefore higher moral ground whereas you have been unable to establish any such link. This is dishonest in my opinion. 1. ok its a label in ur eyes not such a good one so what is it about that label that p*sses you off? again its still down to personal choice and free will, if by free a woman chooses to be more sexually active than others then they do need to be prepared for the consequences of acquiring such labels - the same way women who choose not to are labelled as prudish and deprived!! it too pisses me off that ur not willing to accept that free will plays a big part in all of this and i would still like to think that desi women refrain from sleeping around out of free will because of their moralistic views! i dont look down at my friends for being "that type" if that lifestyle is right for her its not for me though i dont respect them anyless i think the link between family values and morals is very apparent and it comes accross by all the girls that have contributed to this debate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabi_khota Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 1. ok its a label in ur eyes not such a good one so what is it about that label that p*sses you off? again its still down to personal choice and free will, if by free a woman chooses to be more sexually active than others then they do need to be prepared for the consequences of acquiring such labels - the same way women who choose not to are labelled as prudish and deprived!! it too pisses me off that ur not willing to accept that free will plays a big part in all of this and i would still like to think that desi women refrain from sleeping around out of free will because of their moralistic views! i dont look down at my friends for being "that type" if that lifestyle is right for her its not for me though i dont respect them anyless i think the link between family values and morals is very apparent and it comes accross by all the girls that have contributed to this debate! You have claimed that if a girl is sexually more active than you were before marriage, there are obviously some problems in her relationships with her family etc. After reading such claims, do you think any girl on this forum will come forward and tell everyone that she is actually having sex before marriage ? Would you think she would actually accept she is "THAT TYPE" of a girl ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You have claimed that if a girl is sexually more active than you were before marriage' date=' there are [b']obviously some problems in her relationships with her family etc. After reading such claims, do you think any girl on this forum will come forward and tell everyone that she is actually having sex before marriage ? Would you think she would actually accept she is "THAT TYPE" of a girl ? its not obvious only questionable! and i havent condemned the idea of sex before marriage only that girls who "sleep around" have a DIFFERENT set of morals not LOWER if being THAT TYPE is something they're comfortable with then thats up to them! The sad thing about this debate is that many of you are not willing to accept that if we as women have made a choice to live life in a certain way then that choice is rational, conscious and a decision we are happy with! on that note i am not saying that women who chose the other way of life is irrational but you need accept that we dont live in fear and that we do make our own decisions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 1. ok its a label in ur eyes not such a good one so what is it about that label that p*sses you off? again its still down to personal choice and free will, if by free a woman chooses to be more sexually active than others then they do need to be prepared for the consequences of acquiring such labels - the same way women who choose not to are labelled as prudish and deprived!! it too pisses me off that ur not willing to accept that free will plays a big part in all of this and i would still like to think that desi women refrain from sleeping around out of free will because of their moralistic views! i dont look down at my friends for being "that type" if that lifestyle is right for her its not for me though i dont respect them anyless i think the link between family values and morals is very apparent and it comes accross by all the girls that have contributed to this debate! Your arguments are now circular and the debate value is lost. The basic claim that you made that desi women have a higher moral ground than non-desi women is simply not substantiated by you and hence unacceptable. Whatever else they want to do or not, I don't really care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley's Girl Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 @ Gunner: I'm sorry your mom didn't get her dream, coz I have the opportunity to pursue my own. As for the "moral" decision I made, right now I'm happy. Luckily nothing is set in stone and when I become unhappy and it's important to follow my own path in order for me to be happy again I think my family would love me enough to stand by me, despite going agaist their wishes. By making the right choice for family when it was needed I think I've proven that I'm a big girl who sometimes knows what she is doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 its not obvious only questionable! Still FAIL. It is neither obvious nor questionable. The sad thing about this debate is that many of you are not willing to accept that if we as women have made a choice to live life in a certain way then that choice is rational' date= conscious and a decision we are happy with! on that note i am not saying that women who chose the other way of life is irrational but you need accept that we dont live in fear and that we do make our own decisions! 1) Meh....go back and read the OP. This is not the subject of the thread. I don't care how people choose to live their life. I am simply not willing to accept your view that it is more moral. 2) But still all your arguments smacked off fear, bigotry and down right ignorance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 @ Gunner: I'm sorry your mom didn't get her dream, coz I have the opportunity to pursue my own. As for the "moral" decision I made, right now I'm happy. Luckily nothing is set in stone and when I become unhappy and it's important to follow my own path in order for me to be happy again I think my family would love me enough to stand by me, despite going agaist their wishes. By making the right choice for family when it was needed I think I've proven that I'm a big girl who sometimes knows what she is doing. Perfect answer. You demonstrated your view without trying to climb on to any moral high ground, I truly appreciate that. So peaches, how you doin' today?:winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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