punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruitcake at his wedding. Prince Philip says he doesn't give a feck and he's still going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Paddy loses his dog, he's inconsolable, his wife says he should put an ad in the paper , So he does. 2 weeks pass and not a word , paddy's wife asks "what did u say in the ad " paddy replies " HERE BOY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 A Paki and an Englishman were driving head on one night and their cars collided . To their amazement neither is hurt but both cars are destroyed. In celebration of their good luck they agree to put their differences aside from that moment on and the englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 yr old bottle of whisky. He hands it to the paki who exclaims, "may the english and pakistanis live together forever in peace and harmony" and then gulps down half the bottle. He goes to hand the bottle to the englishman who replies, "no thanks you paki cu*t, i'll just wait til the police get here! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 There r 2 typs of HOOKs. 1st is cricket hook & 2nd is bra's hook. 1st is used to send ball out side d boundry & 2nd is used to adjust balls inside d boundary.. :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Mary Mary quite contrary how does ur garden grow? I live in a flat u stupid tw*t, how the feck wud I know! Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white n wispy, along came foot n mouth disease n now its black n crispy. Jack in Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills fanny. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of co*k cuz Jills a pre op tranny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Paddy's walking down the street eating a bag of doughnuts. Mick meets him & says, "If I guess how many doughnuts are in the bag can I have one?" Paddy says, "If you guess how many are in the bag you can have both of them." Mick says, "Four?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 A womens pussy is like a shed roof! If you don't nail it hard enough, it will end up next door!!! :winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 I was teaching a group of paki students how to line dance yesterday...... They seemed to be doing alright until the fecking train hit them! :winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 Paramedics attend an accident & find a man in the drivers seat screaming his head off. They tell him to "Calm down. It could be worse. Look at your girlfriend. She's gone through the windscreen" The man replies in agony "Have you seen what she's got in her mouth?" :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 My mates used to call me mr lover lover as i had quite a good record with the ladies until one night a woman with one leg and one arm asked me to shag her up the a*se . . . Now they call me mr bumspastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of piña coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." :winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 Was in Asda 2day with 2 full trollies of booze & my weeks shopping when a little old lady got behind me in the queue. She only had a pint of milk, so I said "Is that all u've got love?" She replied "Yes" So I did the decent thing & said "If I were u I'd feck off to another till, I'm gonna take ages" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Paramedics attend an accident & find a man in the drivers seat screaming his head off. They tell him to "Calm down. It could be worse. Look at your girlfriend. She's gone through the windscreen" The man replies in agony "Have you seen what she's got in her mouth?" :hysterical: :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Warrior Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 An old Parsi is dying calls his grandson to his bed: "Dikraa, aii ley, for you, my chrome-plated .38 revolver." "But Bawaji, I don't like guns. How about u leaving me tamaaru gold Rolex watch instead?" "Chutia, shutup & listen. Someday u have to run maaru business. Someday u gonna come home & maybe find ur fataakri bairi(wife) in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarina, what will u do then? Point ur Rolex watch at him and say "Time's up? :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Warrior Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Today, I made the wife make me a sandwhich with her left hand, you should probably know why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 An old Parsi is dying calls his grandson to his bed: "Dikraa, aii ley, for you, my chrome-plated .38 revolver." "But Bawaji, I don't like guns. How about u leaving me tamaaru gold Rolex watch instead?" "Chutia, shutup & listen. Someday u have to run maaru business. Someday u gonna come home & maybe find ur fataakri bairi(wife) in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarina, what will u do then? Point ur Rolex watch at him and say "Time's up? :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 An old Parsi is dying calls his grandson to his bed: "Dikraa, aii ley, for you, my chrome-plated .38 revolver." "But Bawaji, I don't like guns. How about u leaving me tamaaru gold Rolex watch instead?" "Chutia, shutup & listen. Someday u have to run maaru business. Someday u gonna come home & maybe find ur fataakri bairi(wife) in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarina, what will u do then? Point ur Rolex watch at him and say "Time's up? :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachin=GOD Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Paramedics attend an accident & find a man in the drivers seat screaming his head off. They tell him to "Calm down. It could be worse. Look at your girlfriend. She's gone through the windscreen" The man replies in agony "Have you seen what she's got in her mouth?" :hysterical: An old Parsi is dying calls his grandson to his bed: "Dikraa, aii ley, for you, my chrome-plated .38 revolver." "But Bawaji, I don't like guns. How about u leaving me tamaaru gold Rolex watch instead?" "Chutia, shutup & listen. Someday u have to run maaru business. Someday u gonna come home & maybe find ur fataakri bairi(wife) in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarina, what will u do then? Point ur Rolex watch at him and say "Time's up? :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kabira Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 An old Parsi is dying calls his grandson to his bed: "Dikraa, aii ley, for you, my chrome-plated .38 revolver." "But Bawaji, I don't like guns. How about u leaving me tamaaru gold Rolex watch instead?" "Chutia, shutup & listen. Someday u have to run maaru business. Someday u gonna come home & maybe find ur fataakri bairi(wife) in bed with some other bhonsrino bhadvo. Chutmarina, what will u do then? Point ur Rolex watch at him and say "Time's up? :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :--D:--D:--D:--D:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: joke of the month.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 Little Johnny wasn't doing very well at school so his Mum and Dad sent him to a Catholic school. After two months he was getting top marks in every subject. His Mum asks "How come you're doing so well at this school?" Johnny replies "The first day I walked in to school & saw that poor fella nailed to a cross I knew they didn't feck around here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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