Sports- humour

[hari504504]

:mad: I came to this thread expecting some jokes. WTH. Hari, by any chance did you take humour tuition from G92? :hmmm:

All of it are English premier league related stuff. And ofcourse..none of them are my creations.:haha: was hoping others would add better stuff to the thread

[hari504504]

Professional fighters Chisora and Haye reprimanded for fighting after other fight The boxing community has rounded on fighters David Haye and Dereck Chisora after they chose to fight in a place that is traditionally reserved for talking about fighting after a fight. A little fight was what was needed after several minutes of non-violent conversation on the post-fight press conference. British Boxing officials have criticised the pair, releasing a statement that read, “It was terrible behaviour from two men who spend most of their waking day training to punch someone’s face clean off.” The boxing community has rounded on fighters David Haye and Dereck Chisora after they chose to fight in a place that is traditionally reserved for talking about fighting after a fight. The two heavyweights decided that a little fight was what was needed after several minutes of non-violent conversation on the post-fight press conference. “We want our finely tuned fighting athletes to focus on not-fighting when it’s time for talking, and then fighting when the talking time is finished.” “They know they’ve done wrong, and have promised that in future they will limit trying to inflict serious head injuries upon each other to the times when we specifically say they can.” *Chisora Haye scuffle Fight fans have also criticised the incident, claiming that the television viewing angles were all wrong and that the lack of a five-hour build up to the incident left them ‘cold’. Boxing fan Simon Williams said, “As big fights go, it was very disappointing. Even more so than Haye’s fight against Klitschko last year.” “I’ve seen public fights between boxers and retired fighters get out of hand before. They went out onto the street, cheered on by fans of both sides and it was great entertainment for us viewing fans.” “They even had family around then cheering them on, and it was topped off when the loudmouth fight promotor got a smack in the mouth at the end.” “Or is that Rocky V?” http://newsthump.com/2012/02/21/professional-fighters-reprimanded-for-fighting-after-other-fight/

[gaurav92]

:mad: I came to this thread expecting some jokes. WTH. Hari, by any chance did you take humour tuition from G92? :hmmm:

Ouch! Et tu mariyamben :((

[1983-2011]

Liverpool have finally took home a trophy after 6 years, The Carling cup. Bit like being single for 6 years and bringing home Susan Boyle.

[1983-2011]

GOAL!!!!!!! Arsenal 6-2 Tottenham ( 90 +23 Hours ) Charlie Adam with a lovely finish from 12 miles away.

[hari504504]

source: newsthump Dalglish: This will be the first of many meaningless trophies Kenny Dalglish has promised that LiverpoolÃÔ Carling Cup victory over Championship side Cardiff City will be the first of many meaningless trophies that he will bring to Merseyside in his second stint as manager. The Scotsman said, ŵhis victory will inspire us to win more second tier trophies that a lot of other clubs just donÃÕ bother with. Whilst major clubs now treat the Carling Cup as little more than an opportunity to give the reserves and youth team a day out, the victory has been greeted on the red half of Merseyside with scenes usually reserved for the second coming of Christ, or a Gerry and the Pacemakers reunion, with Dalglish saying that this was just the start. Ÿe could even win the Community Shield, if it wasnÃÕ just for teams which had won a proper trophy the previous season. Ūs the Full Members Cup still going? What about that Leyland DAF one? WhatÃÔ that called these days? LiverpoolÃÔ trophy cabinet, which has been bare since they stopped winning real cups six years ago, now proudly displays the trophy which has been won over the years by Oxford United and Luton Town. Liverpool fan Mark Richards said, ŪtÃÃl be like the League Cup glory years all over again. You know, when a middling side like Leicester won it a couple of times in quick succession. Dalglish concluded, ŵhis win was important for two reasons firstly itÃÔ a meaningless trophy in its own right, and secondly it means we can enter the promised land of low-status silverware: the Europa League. ůow we donÃÕ even have to try to finish 5th or 6th in the Premier League to qualify for that. Which is lucky. When reminded that Liverpool are still in the FA Cup quarter-finals, with a favourable home tie against Stoke and four of the six teams above them in the league already knocked out, Dalglish said, Ťome on, letÃÔ not get carried away.

[hari504504]

source: newsthump Terry Connor delighted to be Wolves’ 12th choice for manager job New Wolves manager Terry Connor has expressed his delight that all the people the club really wanted as manager have ruled themselves out, leaving him free to take the job. The Premier League strugglers dismissed Mick McCarthy on 13 February and chief executive Jez Moxey was quick to point out that the vacancy was “not a job for a novice”, before giving the job to a complete novice eleven days later. “Like many clubs before us, especially Newcastle, we got ideas above our station and set our sights quite high when looking for a new manager.” explained Moxey, “Initially we went after Alan Curbishley, but he turned us down. We then tried Brian McDermott from Reading, but he wasn’t interested, so we tried Alan Curbishley, only for him to remind us that he’d already told us he didn’t want the job.” Wolves Manager After seeing Walter Smith, Jeremy Paxman, Joey from Friends, a few blokes from the pub, and Paris Hilton’s dog all turn down the chance to take the role, Wolves decided that Connor was “definitely the man to stop us having to bother interviewing anybody else”. Connor, who has been at Wolves as an assistant for 13 years but never previously been in charge, has been given the job until the end of the season, when Moxey may have found the time to interview some more candidates. Ex-Wolves manager Mick McCarthy has already expressed an interest in taking the job in the summer, pointing out his in-depth knowledge of the club and the npower Championship. Steve Bruce, however, is still waiting for a response to his application.

[hari504504]

Newsthump Di Matteo becomes Chelsea manager on 45 minute rolling contract

Following the sacking of Andre Villas-Boas, former Chelsea midfielder Roberto Di Matteo has been given a 45 minute rolling contract by the club’s owner, Roman Abramovich, with the option to extend to a full 90 minutes if they are winning at half time. Abramovich has handed Di Matteo the task of winning the FA Cup for Chelsea in their 5th round replay against Birmingham tomorrow night. Former Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is the bookies favourite to take charge for the second half, with Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola lined up should the match go to extra time. It is believed that the Russian billionaire will consider turning to former England manager Fabio Capello if the game goes to the lottery of a penalty shootout. Chelsea manager A statement on the club’s website read, “We would like to offer Anders our gratitude for his efforts, but his inability to **** trophies everytime Mr Abramovich clicks his fingers means that he had to go.” Pressure has been mounting on Villas-Boas and he appeared to have a difficult relationship with several of Chelsea’s senior players. After Saturday’s defeat against West Brom he said, “It is my job to prepare the players and instil within them the belief and desire to win.” “Once they cross the white line it is then up to them to do whatever John Terry or Frank Lampard say.” Di Matteo revealed he was confident that he would be at Chelsea for the long haul. “I expect to be here until at least half past eight tomorrow night,” he said. “Hopefully I’ll be given time to lay the foundations that will allow me to successfully complete the post-match interview.”