ICC unwritten rules for umpiring

[arkay]

.... ICC unwritten rules to umpiring Ozzies bowling: * You are entitled to take only 15 wickets. The rest of wickets would be gifted to you by umpires * You are entitled to bowl no balls. Umpires would turn a blind eye on that * Umpires will take your word for it when it comes to giving out even when the batsmen is not out * Umpires will not consult the 3rd umpire * You have a right to sledge at the Indians. Umpires will keep their eyes, ears shut. * If you provoke the Indians and they respond, we will issue a stern warning * We will not penalize / warn you for pathetic over rate. But if Indians do, we would issue warning Ozzies batting: * Indians would need to take 30 wickets to get the batsmen out * LBW will not be given to batsmen who are well settled * Umpires will not consult the 3rd umpire even though an umpire is not sure * Umpires will not give a batsman caught behind decisions (even though everyone in the stadium would know) * If batsman is well-set, Indians can get him out only after 3rd attempt

[Anakin]

Sad but true