punjabiplaya Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 New Durex Condom Slogan's: 1. Cover your stump before you hump 2. Don't be a loner cover your boner 3. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey 4. Don't be a fool cover your tool 5. Wrap your bate before you mate 6. Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel 7. Package your meat for a real nice treat 8. rap that wanger before you bang her 9. If your nude then tube your dude 10. Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle send to all your funny friends:-G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 If mothers celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day and lovers celebrate valentines day, do w**kers celebrate palm sunday? thought ud be the best person to ask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 :hysterical: @ Condoms Slogan Tremendous innovations :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 A priest was driving home and got upset when he ran over a frog. He stopped and was surprised to find the frog still alive. Taking it home, he revived the frog with a warm bath and some fly soup. As the frog was so weak, he popped it into bed. The frog needed a kiss to help him settle so the priest delivered a small peck on the cheek. In an instant, the frog transformed into an 11 year-old boy. And that, your Honour, is the case for the defence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley's Girl Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 A priest was driving home and got upset when he ran over a frog. He stopped and was surprised to find the frog still alive. Taking it home' date=' he revived the frog with a warm bath and some fly soup. As the frog was so weak, he popped it into bed. The frog needed a kiss to help him settle so the priest delivered a small peck on the cheek. In an instant, the frog transformed into an 11 year-old boy. And that, your Honour, is the case for the defence.[/quote'] :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 :phehehe: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gunner Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 A priest was driving home and got upset when he ran over a frog. He stopped and was surprised to find the frog still alive. Taking it home' date=' he revived the frog with a warm bath and some fly soup. As the frog was so weak, he popped it into bed. The frog needed a kiss to help him settle so the priest delivered a small peck on the cheek. In an instant, the frog transformed into an 11 year-old boy. And that, your Honour, is the case for the defence.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "Im blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it & order." The confused owner got a fork. The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath. "Yes, i will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring veg." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate & left. 2 weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Lucy was cooking. He said, "do me a favour and rub this fork over your p***y!", which she does! He then goes to the blindman & gives him the fork. The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says, "feck me, i never knew Lucy worked here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karan114 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "Im blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it & order." The confused owner got a fork. The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath. "Yes' date=' i will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring veg." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate & left. 2 weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Lucy was cooking. He said, "do me a favour and rub this fork over your p***y!", which she does! He then goes to the blindman & gives him the fork. The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says, "feck me, i never knew Lucy worked here!"[/quote'] :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 A priest was driving home and got upset when he ran over a frog. He stopped and was surprised to find the frog still alive. Taking it home' date=' he revived the frog with a warm bath and some fly soup. As the frog was so weak, he popped it into bed. The frog needed a kiss to help him settle so the priest delivered a small peck on the cheek. In an instant, the frog transformed into an 11 year-old boy. And that, your Honour, is the case for the defence.[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack sh*t? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, You dont know Jack sh*t? Thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack sh*t is the only son of Argh sh*t who married Oh sh*t, the owners of Knee Deep N sh*t Inc. In turn Jack sh*t married Noe sh*t. The couple had 6 children: Holly sh*t, Giva sh*t, Fulla Sh*t, Bull sh*t, and the twins Deep sh*t and Dip sh*t. Deep sh*t married Dumb sh*t, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe sh*t got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe sh*t Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip sh*t married Lota sh*t and had a rather nervous child named Chicken sh*t. Fulla sh*t n Giva sh*t married the Happens brothers n had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the sh*t-Happens wedding. Bull sh*t travelled the world and returned home with an italian bride, Pisa sh*t. Easy innit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 What do u call a paki sheep shagger? Ramalam What do u call a paki sheep shagger with a bell in his hand? Ramalam Adingdong :hysterical: :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "Im blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it & order." The confused owner got a fork. The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath. "Yes' date=' i will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring veg." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate & left. 2 weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Lucy was cooking. He said, "do me a favour and rub this fork over your p***y!", which she does! He then goes to the blindman & gives him the fork. The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says, "feck me, i never knew Lucy worked here!"[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 19, 2010 Author Share Posted March 19, 2010 ALTERNATIVE NURSERY RHYMES 1 - Little miss muffet wanked on a tuffet with a dildo the size of her arm, along came a n*gger, who's co*k was much bigger n did her some permanent harm. 2 - Mary mary quite contrary how does your garden grow? I live in a flat youu stupid tw*t, how the feck would i know?. 3 - Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white and whispy, along came foot and mouth disease and now its black and crispy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 My mates just gone and got himself a new polish girlfriend.but its taken her five days to hoover the house turns out she's a slovak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Karma Sutra position no 52. "The Pirate" When going at it doggy style, just as you are about to come, pull out and spit on her back so she thinks youve come. When she turns around unleash a blast right in her face to stun and amaze her! Known as the pirate because she'll put her hand over her eye and say aarghhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 3 mice in a pub having a heavy discussion about who's the hardest mouse.1st mouse says he is, "i go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i benchpress it 30 times and throw it across the room!" 2nd mouse says: "you poof! I get rat poison, crush it into powder & snort it." 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. "Home, to feck the Cat" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Paddys in bed with his wife. Her mobile phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers it , listens , then angrily replies "why dont u feck off and ring the weather office !" Wife asks "who was that ?" He says "some bast**d askin if the coast was clear ?'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punjabiplaya Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Cliff Richard meets a fan from China, he sez "i ruv you Criff, i ruv song called itchy sore fanny," Cliff sez "i didnt sing a song called that ?" The fan sez "yes u did it went, itchy sore fanny how we dont talk anymore !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DomainK Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Paddys in bed with his wife. Her mobile phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers it , listens , then angrily replies "why dont u feck off and ring the weather office !" Wife asks "who was that ?" He says "some bast**d askin if the coast was clear ?'' :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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