punjabiplaya Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Alien couple come down to earth and go to a swingers party. They swap partners and go to respective bedrooms. The alien man takes his clothes off revealing a one inch co*k. The woman says i am not impressed! The alien then twists his right ear and his co*k grows to ten inches. Now I am impressed says the woman. The alien then twists his left ear and his co*k becomes two inches thick and he gives the woman the best seeing too she has ever had. She meets up with her husband later and asks how was it for you? Her hubby said fecking shite all she did was keep twisting my fecking ears! :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"..EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it."..BOSS: "Well, there is now.After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you... :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Was out walking with the wife this morning. She suddenly stopped and removed her shoe complaining about a stone in it I replied 'there's about 20 stone in the other one so keep walking you big fat cow!'
Sid Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Alien couple come down to earth and go to a swingers party. They swap partners and go to respective bedrooms. The alien man takes his clothes off revealing a one inch co*k. The woman says i am not impressed! The alien then twists his right ear and his co*k grows to ten inches. Now I am impressed says the woman. The alien then twists his left ear and his co*k becomes two inches thick and he gives the woman the best seeing too she has ever had. She meets up with her husband later and asks how was it for you? Her hubby said fecking shite all she did was keep twisting my fecking ears! :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :cantstop::cantstop:
gaurav92 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Alien couple come down to earth and go to a swingers party. They swap partners and go to respective bedrooms. The alien man takes his clothes off revealing a one inch co*k. The woman says i am not impressed! The alien then twists his right ear and his co*k grows to ten inches. Now I am impressed says the woman. The alien then twists his left ear and his co*k becomes two inches thick and he gives the woman the best seeing too she has ever had. She meets up with her husband later and asks how was it for you? Her hubby said fecking shite all she did was keep twisting my fecking ears! :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :haha::haha: :two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 The dog is truly mans best friend. Not convinced? Put your dog and your wife in the boot of your car for an hour. When you open it, see whos happy to see you. :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Old lady gives bus driver peanuts 2 eat everyday she boards bus. After few days driver asks 'Why do u give me such wonderful peanuts, Why don't u eat them urself? Lady replies 'I don't have teeth 2 munch Them' Driver: Then Why Buy Them? Lady: 'I just Love the Chocolate Around Them!'
punjabiplaya Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 A local MP is visiting a nursing home. He asks a 93 year old lady, "have you been bed-ridden since you've been here?" she replies "a couple of times but i prefer being fecked on the sofa"
punjabiplaya Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 A paki kid lost his mum in a supermarket n was crying loads... The manager asked "What does she look like?"..The kid says "for fecks sake I don't know, I've never seen her face" !" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Jadoo Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 A paki kid lost his mum in a supermarket n was crying loads... The manager asked "What does she look like?"..The kid says "for fecks sake I don't know, I've never seen her face" !" :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Nice one P.
punjabiplaya Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
punjabiplaya Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 I saw a homeless guy in town with three shoes, one that was slightly too big for him.He was going around asking everyone if they wanted a big-ish shoe.
punjabiplaya Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Paddy says to mick, "christmas is on a friday this year".....mick says "lets hope it's not the 13th.
punjabiplaya Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 I just saw the latest KFC advert and thought it lacked a little realism.They had a white bloke serving.
punjabiplaya Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 I just saw the latest KFC advert and thought it lacked a little realism.They had a white bloke serving.
punjabiplaya Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 The missus asked me, When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me? Apparently "Only to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying like that!" After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazillion ?".
punjabiplaya Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 David Beckham has revealed that his next child is to be an adopted African baby boy, dark chocolate coloured. So will be called... ...Arthur Eight
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