anotherhawkeye Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide.." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist explained, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription." :haha: :hysterical:
anotherhawkeye Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 On this Independence Day' date=' wherever you are, close your eyes for a minute and let's all remember those who struggled against the English......Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Harbhajan, Dhoni, Raina etc :winky:[/quote'] That's a good one...ha ha...
punjabiplaya Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 Post code for the next riots N16 6ER
punjabiplaya Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 to all icfers and your rioting jokes.... What's with all the nig*er jokes! You are a bit harsh on these lazy rioting banana eating black bast*rds!
punjabiplaya Posted August 16, 2011 Author Posted August 16, 2011 The riots stop after 4 days... Typical bloody nig*ers, can't even do a weeks work! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:hysterical::hysterical:
Rahul Dravid Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Happy birthday Pakistan' date=' don't have a blast![/quote'] :hysterical:
Rahul Dravid Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 Ever noticed during international football matches' date=' the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?[/quote']
Guest Gunner Posted August 17, 2011 Posted August 17, 2011 The riots stop after 4 days... Typical bloody nig*ers, can't even do a weeks work! :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Paddy and murphy been in court today. The judge said he would have given them a much harsher sentence for looting a Bookies, but when the police nabbed them coming out the window, they were £200 down.
punjabiplaya Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 My wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now." Horrified, she said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?" "No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant."
punjabiplaya Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Amir wrote an email to his wife saying he fancies a hot shag tonight and accidentally sent it to his sister. Means hes gonna have to drive to bradford now. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 My missus came home tonight and found me in bed with another woman. She said, "Who the feck is she?" I replied, "Don't fecking start. It'll be bad enough trying to explain to her who you are :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 My wife caught me in bed with my mistress yesterday. I protested, "Look, she means nothing to me." Thankfully, my mistress believed me.
Rahul Dravid Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were Pakis, and one was a Sardar. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the Sardar said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the Sardar saying he would get off, all of the Pakis started clapping. Problem solved. heehee :haha: :two_thumbs_up:
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 To all those who didn't receive the results they were after today, I want you to remember two things: 1) You tried your hardest 2) I don't have gherkins in my Big Mac :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 Hi. I'm in hospital, Don't panic though,, i've poisoned myself doh! I ate what i thought was an onion but it was a daffodil bulb. I'll be out in the spring :cantstop:
Dark Warrior Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 If sex between three people is called a Threesome and sex between two people is called a Twosome... Then why is Handsome still a compliment?
Dark Warrior Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I've been in relationship with my girlfriend since ten years. Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication. I don't know how she does it.
Dark Warrior Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Last night at the club, a bouncer punched my wife for no reason right in the face. I didn't want to be thought of as weak, so I hit her harder.
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