punjabiplaya Posted January 31, 2012 Author Posted January 31, 2012 What do you call a Chinese woman with chronic B.O.? No Hai Jeen :hysterical:
Sidhoni Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 My penis is so polite' date=' it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.[/quote'] :cantstop:
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 I heard some of my son's friends call my wife a MILF I found out this means mothers I'd like to ****. So when I heard my teenage daughter's friends say your dad's FILF, I got a right stiffy. Turns out they found my porn collection.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 A little kid shouted MILF at my Wife yesterday. It reminded me that for just £2.00 per month you can save a child's eyesight.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Boy comes home late from school one day and his dad asks, "Where have you been?" "With Jessica." "Doing what?" "Revising." The boy then picks up a snack and says, "These fishcakes are nice." His dad says, "Go and wash your hands son, they're ****ing doughnuts!"
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 ameet lost his virginity for a pound today He should never have bent over to pick it up
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, "Is he on standby?"
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 When you take a White girl's virginity, you pop-her-cherry. So by that logic, when you take an Indian girl's virginity, you pop-her-dom.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb? Just a moment, sir. Let me pass you on to the right department. Please hold the line.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Just bought a copy of International Cricket 2010 for my Xbox, but the disc is broken. I'm looking for a Paki now, I've heard they're ****ing good at fixing cricket games.
1983-2011 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 New Miley Cyrus DVD: Ž£15 Tub of Vaseline: Ž£3 XL Box of Tissues: Ž£2 The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Wenger, boas, rednap, fergie, an dalgliesh are in a bar having a drink. Wenger buys first round, boas second, rednap third, fergie buys fourth, dalglesh goes up brings drinks back an fergie says wheres mine? Dalgliesh says sorry pal YOUR NOT IN THE FITH ROUND
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 An old man & his grandson went into a bookies. The boy asks his grandpa if he could put a bet on. "If you can touch ur ar*e with ur dick, u can have a bet." says grandad. "I can't" says lad. "Well, ur not old enough then." So the boy goes next door, buys a scratch card & wins £50,000! He told his grandpa, who suggested they split the winnings 50-50. "Can you touch your ar*e with your dick?" asks the boy. "Yes!" shouts grandpa. "Well, go feck yourself
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Woman goes to the docs with bruises on her face. Doc asks what happened? She says "Every time my husband comes home drunk, he hits me" Doc says When he comes home drunk, take a glass of water & swish it around ur mouth, don't swallow it until he's asleep. 2 wks later she goes back 2 the doc. She says "lts brilliant, but how does the water work? He never touches me now" Doc says "the water does feck all, Its keepin ur mouth shut that does the trick"
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Hubby say "I fancy kinky sex, can I cum in your ear?". Wife says NO, i might go deaf". Hubby says "i've been cuming in your mouth 20 years and you're still fecking talking!
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Just moved house, i'll send u the address later.But, feck me it's a rough area. Myra Hindley is the avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter, Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group and the Mcanns run the holiday club. But at least there's no pakis.
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Latest from the African cup of nations: Ghana 8 - Ethiopia didnt
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble squares earlier today. Going for a sh*t, this could spell trouble
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 6 REASONS WHY MEN PREFER GUNS TO WOMEN....... 1. You can trade an old 45 for a 22 2. You can admire a friends gun & he'll let you try it; 3. Your gun stays with you even if you run out of ammo; 4. Guns function normally everyday; 5. A Gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it; And the best one........ 6. YOU CAN BUY A FECKING SILENCER FOR A GUN.
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