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Posted

Paddy & Mick at the funfair. Paddy: Hey Mick if we went on the roller coaster and went upside down do you think we'll fall out ? Mick : Don't be fecking stupid we've been mate for ages !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

Hold on Tight for the top 10 Paki jokes of the week! ...... What do u call a paki who finishes a race last? Ranshit. What do u call 3 pakis? Multi pak. What do u call a paki thats just arrived? Amir.. What do u call a paki Elvis impersonator? Amal Shukup.. What do u call a paki police informer? Wazim.. What do u call a paki in a skip? Rumajin.. What do you call a paki who is standing in the middle of the road? An opportunity! Wat do u call a paki in a mobile phone shop? Tariff! What do you call a schizophrenic paki? Mahmood swingh! What do you call an alcholic paki? Mustapha kahn! What do you call a paki with pink hair? Gandhi floss!

Posted

Took the wife 2 a disco at the weekend.There was a guy on the dancefloor giving it large; breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips,the feckin works. Wife turned 2 me & said, " See that guy? 25yrs ago he proposed 2 me & I turned him down." I said, "Looks like he's still fecking celebrating!!"

Posted

I work for a charity and last year I took a group of volunteers to Africa.As we drove down one street, a couple of the volunteers started crying "Look at all the poverty, poor black people lining the streets, begging for scraps of food and robbing each other just to get by. I don't know whether I can go through with this.""Don't worry." I replied "We'll be on that plane and out of Birmingham soon, things won't be as bad when we get to Africa."

Posted
Took the wife 2 a disco at the weekend.There was a guy on the dancefloor giving it large; breakdancing' date=' moonwalking, back flips,the feckin works. Wife turned 2 me & said, " See that guy? 25yrs ago he proposed 2 me & I turned him down." I said, "Looks like he's still fecking celebrating!!"[/quote']
Posted

They say sex during pregnancy induces labour, and I've found out they're right. I've just told the wife I've been shag*ing her sister and she practically gave birth on the kitchen floor. :hysterical:

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I woke up this morning and my wife was out. There was a note stuck to the fridge saying, 'I can't cope, it's clearly not working, I'm going to stay at my mums'. I don't know what the fat **** is talking about, I just felt the milk and it's cold.

Posted

The wife walked in and saw me watching the England vs Ukraine game. "For ****'s sake! Football again? Can't we change the channel and watch something better than this!?" she *****ed. "Sure babe," I said, turning it over to the France vs Sweden game.

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