punjabiplaya Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 A big row broke out in the Irish Olympic synchronised diving team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him!! :haha:
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut. Mommy: U mean it's small? Little Girl: No, it's salty.
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up & man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u monthly, u bastard!
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking. Waitress: What the **** are you all doing? One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina? A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Blonde: I think my tits are full of water. Doctor: How do u figure that? Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pu$sy gets wet
1983-2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
punjabiplaya Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 The wife and I went into town for dinner last night and on the way back the car broke down in the red light district. The wife seemed amused at the six prostitutes circling the car until one of them said "Hi Stu! She's not from our patch, I hope the fat bi*ch isn't charging you over the odds?"
punjabiplaya Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess? A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right. A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit. And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. :cantstop:
suraj Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess? A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right. A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit. And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. :cantstop: :haha:
Sid Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 The wife and I went into town for dinner last night and on the way back the car broke down in the red light district. The wife seemed amused at the six prostitutes circling the car until one of them said "Hi Stu! She's not from our patch, I hope the fat bi*ch isn't charging you over the odds?" :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 A guy from the council just knocked on my door and said, "You're the only person in this street who never uses the 'Food Waste Bin', is there a reason for that?" "Yes mate, come in and take a look at the size of my wife."
punjabiplaya Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 My wife gave me a blow job this morning, and it was the first time she'd done it in fecking ages. I was so surprised and confused that I ended up paying her after it. :cantstop:
Sid Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 My wife gave me a blow job this morning, and it was the first time she'd done it in fecking ages. I was so surprised and confused that I ended up paying her after it. :cantstop: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 When i was in prison, all i could think about was my wife, and how i missed her. An inch to the right and it would've been a headshot! :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 I was in australia with the wife recently, when she was stung on the minge by a hornet, I phoned a local doctor, who was a bit of a laid back, surfer type, "Doc, please help me" "Hey, what s up man?" "My wife has been stung on her vagina and its completely closed up" "Bummer dude" "Thanks doc, bye.... :hysterical:
Sid Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I was in australia with the wife recently, when she was stung on the minge by a hornet, I phoned a local doctor, who was a bit of a laid back, surfer type, "Doc, please help me" "Hey, what s up man?" "My wife has been stung on her vagina and its completely closed up" "Bummer dude" "Thanks doc, bye.... :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 My girlfriend says I'm giving her a complex about her flat chest. She wants me to stop wearing 3D glasses when I'm shagging her. :hysterical::hysterical:
Recommended Posts