punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 My girlfriend was putting sun cream on. "Do you mind doing my back?" she asked. "Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes.""Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?" And that was all the invitation I needed...
punjabiplaya Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 [ame= - Official Punjabi Trailer [HD]: - YouTube[/ame]
Utalk Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 After shagging Cheryl Cole yesterday, I think there are two things you should know.. First, her fanny is tight as feck, a real struggle to get in. Second the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable feckers with no sense of humour! :hysterical::hysterical: Good one mate.
punjabiplaya Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 My ex sent me a pic of her naked while fingering herself to show me what I'm missing out on.I sent her back a pic of her little sister giving me a blowjob to show her how much I care. :finger:
Crookbond Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 My ex sent me a pic of her naked while fingering herself to show me what I'm missing out on.I sent her back a pic of her little sister giving me a blowjob to show her how much I care. :finger: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
1983-2011 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 John Terry has announced that his decision to retire from International football was due to family reasons. He stated he wanted to devote more time to his kids and your wife.
1983-2011 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 I've heard John Terry thought about a new adventure after his retirement from international football. Rumour has it he was pondering moving to New Zealand and trying out rugby for a change, that was until he was informed of the New Zealand rugby teams nick name.
1983-2011 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 A Pakistan politician offers a $100,000 reward for the murder of the maker of a racist film, and John Terry immediately retires from international football. Concidence..?
1983-2011 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 "John Terry announces retirement from international football." I'm guessing that's because he found out about England vs. Nigeria
Crookbond Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 Can someone revoke posting rights of this 1983-2011 from the jokes forum? Poora kooda kar diya hai hasi mazaak ka! :mad:
1983-2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Can someone revoke posting rights of this 1983-2011 from the jokes forum? Poora kooda kar diya hai hasi mazaak ka! :mad: I guess I need to post more of sexist, racist and filthy jokes:confused_smile:
Tiger-Don Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I guess I need to post more of sexist' date=' racist and filthy jokes:confused_smile:[/quote'] its cool..i appreciate ur effort!
1983-2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.
punjabiplaya Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 25% of women in the UK are on medication for mental illness. That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated! :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 My wife asked me earlier "Where's the romance gone from our relationship?" "Probably the same place as your looks" I replied :finger:
Crookbond Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 A guy asked a girl in a library; Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl answered with a loud voice; "I don't WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU!!!? All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and she told him "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?" The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT's TOO MUCH!!!" ...and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; "I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"
1983-2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 One of my black employees came into my office and asked, "Do you mind if I use the colour printer to print some stuff off?" I said, "In this day and age Desmond, you can use any printer pal".
1983-2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 The girlfriend and I had our first shower together today. She could see I was a little nervous so said "Relax, just do what you normally do." So I had a piss.
1983-2011 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes.
Desi Cartman Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 25% of women in the UK are on medication for mental illness. That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated! :cantstop: :hysterical:
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