Sachin=GOD Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger And then it hit me. A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, "no I'm travelling light".
1983-2011 Posted November 9, 2012 Posted November 9, 2012 How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house.
punjabiplaya Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 I got slapped today, apparently saying "Do you work in subway? 'cause you're giving me a footlong." to a woman eating a sandwich isn't acceptable :((
punjabiplaya Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 The nurse said, "10 years working here, I've never seen this before, I'll get a doctor!" The doctor said, "In 20 years I've never seen the like, I'll get the consultant!" The consultant said, "My God, in 40 years I never thought I'd see the day!" "What is it?" he asked, "Am I dying?" "No!" they piped, "It's just we've never treated a Pakistani for a STD before
punjabiplaya Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 My wife finally agreed to try an*l for the first time last night. Me making beeping noises like a lorry reversing while she backed her fat ar*e onto my co*k was probably not the best idea
punjabiplaya Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 My girlfriend came home to find me bolting down a pole from floor to ceiling in our bedroom. "Don't you think for a minute your getting me to dance round that for you" she shouted! I replied "it's not for that.. It's to help you in and out of bed you fat bit*h!!! :--D
1983-2011 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I asked my girlfriend to suck the life out of me and leave me dry. She replied 'YES! I will marry you.'
Sid Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I got slapped today, apparently saying "Do you work in subway? 'cause you're giving me a footlong." to a woman eating a sandwich isn't acceptable :(( :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Mick was standing on a scaffolding when a young Asian man went to walk under his ladder. "Stop there!"Mick shouted, "Don't you know it's bad luck to walk under a ladder?" "I don't believe in that," he said as she proceeded to walk under it, "I'm pakistani." "That's a shame,Mick replied, as he dropped a concrete block on his head.
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I almost talked my way out of a breathaliser by telling the police woman she looked bloody gorgeous, I fecked it up though when I said, "And that's not just the fecking drink talking either."
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 My ex wife is wearing one of those skirts where I can just see the edge of her bum poking out. I'd probably find it sexy if the skirt wasn't knee length
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I was with this really fit bird and was so turned on that I couldn't help myself and had a cheeky w*nk under the sheet! Either she didnt notice, or was too polite to mention it, she just carried on cutting my hair!
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Irish lass returns home after 5 years away. Dad is furious. 'Where the hell have you been'? She says 'Well daddy I became a prostitute'. 'What?' he yelled. 'Get out of my house. You've shamed my family'. She sobs, 'ok daddy, but before I go, here are keys to a brand new porsche, a diamond necklace for mum and a cheque for 250,000'. 'where did all this come from?' he asks. 'I told you, I became a prostitute'. 'A prostitute'? he says. 'Come and give daddy a big hug...I thought you said a protestant'!
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Are you struggling to make ends meet just now? Do your outgoings far exceed your income? Is the cost of this Christmas becoming a very big worry ? Well now would be a very good time indeed to say Jimmy Savile w*nked you off 30years ago...
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Walt Disney's new panto "Jet Black", the non racist version of "Snow White" has been put on hold. All 7 dwarfs: Stinky, Mugger, Car Jack, Drive By, Pusher, Lazy and Wog, have refused to sing "Hi Ho" as they say they have no intentions of "going off to fecking work".
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Christmas is coming Heskeys getting fat. Nani is a gayboy and Ballotelli is a tw*t. Rio is a cokehead, his nostrils getting bigger Bramble is a useless c**t and Evra is a nig*er MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM JOHN TERRY
punjabiplaya Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 You know you're getting old when you're watching porn and you say to yourself,"God that bed looks comfortable."
Utalk Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 It must be really quiet Playa for you to be posting at this time of night.
1983-2011 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 A forum shutting down because some douchebag died:giggle::giggle:
suraj Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 You know you're getting old when you're watching porn and you say to yourself' date='"God that bed looks comfortable."[/quote'] :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
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