DomainK Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 talking about Gujju jokes, this one makes me lol.. :D Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try' Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays. Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama..' Gujjus :hatsoff:
Debutant Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 talking about Gujju jokes, this one makes me lol.. :D Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try' Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays. Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama..' :haha::haha:
CG Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 talking about Gujju jokes, this one makes me lol.. :D Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try' Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays. Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama..' :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I met a girl at a party last night. I said, "You remind me of my little toe." She said, "Small and petite?" "No, I'll probably bang you later on the table when I'm pissed!"
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Bradford City have announced that cup final tickets will start at 60 pakistani rupees each !! And tickets are limited to 40 per HouseHold......!!!!
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 The missus bought a Paperback, Down Shepton, Saturday. I had a look inside her bag; T'was "Fifty Shades Of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread… In her left hand she held a rope And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago. I might have had a peek. But Mabel hasn't weathered well, She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind, Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse, She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet, A couple minutes later. She put her teeth back in and said I must be the dominater!! Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered. I'd spent two months in traction, For the last complaint I'd suffered. She stood there nude and naked, Bent forward just a bit. I went to hold her, sensual like, and stood on her left tit!! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out, My god what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one"!! Well readers, I can't tell no more.. About what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I can't believe my date called me a tight fisted bast*rd, the ungrateful bi*ch. It took me 3 fecking hours to walk her home
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 After the horsemeat scare an old lady has called Tesco customer services complaining her risotto has gorilla in it. The matter was quickly resolved however when the assistant explained the photo on the box was Ainsley Harriot.
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Tesco are in the sh*t again, their Welsh Lamb has Human DNA in it.
punjabiplaya Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 The wife caught me w*nking and said "Who are you thinking about when you feel the need to do THAT?" I lied and said "Jennifer Aniston" Now she hates Jennifer Aniston. I guess it's better than her hating her 18 year old sister
punjabiplaya Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 A British man has been thrown out of Pakistan, for testing positive for 4 banned substances ... Toothpaste, Deodorant, Soap & Shampoo. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
Sid Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 A British man has been thrown out of Pakistan, for testing positive for 4 banned substances ... Toothpaste, Deodorant, Soap & Shampoo. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :haha:
Tiger-Don Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Japan creates a new machine which will find all the criminals of a city that you put the machine in. First, they put it on TOKYO, and the next day 400 criminals were caught, then the US get interested in it and decides to put in in New York City, the next day 1200 crminals were caught. Now Bangladesh gets interested in the device and they decide to put it in Dhaka.... They next day, the device got stolen :p
Tiger-Don Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 The smaller your dick, the more you'll ****! Dont believe me? Look at two biggest populations in the world!- Russel Peters
punjabiplaya Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 My brother went to france to train to be a mime artist! I have not heard from him since
punjabiplaya Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Micheal J Fox and Muhammad Ali met for the first time yesterday. They're still shaking hands.
punjabiplaya Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I was in a bar and a young woman came up to me and asked me if I was a student. I said yes. She asked me what I was studying at the moment. I said your tits
punjabiplaya Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? Two calves, an ass, a beaver, a a*s load of hares, one camel toe and a fish nobody can find!!!
Sid Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Micheal J Fox and Muhammad Ali met for the first time yesterday. They're still shaking hands. My brother went to france to train to be a mime artist! I have not heard from him since :haha: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? Two calves' date=' an ass, a beaver, a a*s load of hares, one camel toe and a fish nobody can find!!![/quote'] :hatsoff:
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