Sid Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Just came round in hospital after a bad accident, there was a pretty young nurse next to my bed and she said "you may not feel anything below the waist." So I fondled her tits. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: lol :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 My black neighbour is really upset because she's just found out she's having twins. She should consider it a blessing because it's such a rare occurrence. I mean how often does a black woman have 2 children by the same father?
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 I think Cheryl's rose tattoos on each of her ar*e cheeks aren't very convincing and lack detail. It's a shame she broke up with Ashley Cole. . . . they need a big pr*ck between them
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 The wife was preparing a fry up this morning, when she suffered a seizure! She started foaming at the mouth, shook, then eventually blacked out! I panicked, I didn't know what to do, then I remembered. . . . . . . . . . .wetherspoons do an all day breakfast for just £3.99 ;)
punjabiplaya Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 My girlfriend said that a blow job was all she could afford to give me this christmas. Still, It's the throat that counts. :--D
Desi Cartman Posted September 9, 2013 Posted September 9, 2013 Iframe: Open in new window why did he slap her .. her reaction changed from :hitler: to :sniffle: in a split second
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 They say there's someone out there for everybody. And if you're really unlucky, she will find you and make your life a misery.
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 My wife used to complain that the magic had gone out of our relationship. So I sawed her in half :--D
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 My wife said she's broke the sat nav can she have £150 for a new one! I said she can go and get lost!
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 Just saw a couple of druggies doing a '69' in the park. He was on crack and she was on blow. :hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 A nun who went 2 the Doctors because she was feeling sick was told she was pregnant. Totally dumbfounded at the news, the next day she stormed into the monastry where the monks lived & shouted, "Right which one of you dirty basta*ds has been wa**king over the candles?"
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 BREAKING NEWS: Mesut Ozil has failed his medical due to a dust-induced asthma attack after the being shown the Arsenal Trophy room.
punjabiplaya Posted September 10, 2013 Author Posted September 10, 2013 My missus says if she finds me on this porn site again she will bang my head against the feckin keyboarcchhjjddfhurbbghjbhdsfjkuvnvggggdtjksfnjkb :haha:
Desi Cartman Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 My wife used to complain that the magic had gone out of our relationship. So I sawed her in half :--D :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
gaurav92 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 BREAKING NEWS: Mesut Ozil has failed his medical due to a dust-induced asthma attack after the being shown the Arsenal Trophy room. My missus says if she finds me on this porn site again she will bang my head against the feckin keyboarcchhjjddfhurbbghjbhdsfjkuvnvggggdtjksfnjkb :haha: :cantstop:
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 The lesbian couple who live on my street are holding an orgy. That should get a few curtains twitching.
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Boy lost his job in the chip shop. His dad goes to find out why... Owner says "I found him with the potato peeler up his ar*e..." His dad says "may I see the potato peeler..?" The owner replied "No I sacked him as well...!
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 So there was this professional assassin who charged $1000 a bullet. A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, "Are you the guy who charges $1000 a bullet?" "Yup." "What if you miss?" He looks at the man, deadly serious. "I don't miss..." "Okay, we'll I've got $2000 here. I just found out my wife is having an affair with my best friend. They're at the motel together right now." "Let's go," the assassin says. So they drive to a store across the street from the motel and climb up on the roof. The assassin takes out his rifle and attaches the scope. "They're in room 21. I want you to shoot her in the head, and I want you to blow his dick off." The assassin looks through his scope. He keeps staring for several minutes, not taking the shot. "Well? What are you waiting for!?" the husband asks. "Hold on two more minutes. I think I can save you $1000."
punjabiplaya Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Peter: Your secretary is very sexy...! Tony: Thanks! It's a robot actually, named " Maria " If you squeeze her right bre**t, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left bre**t, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions.. Next day............ .!!!! Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: You bast*rd! You didn't tell me that the ''' HOLE ''' between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.
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