Sachin=GOD Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Santa ka baap USA se aya aur pucha-teri maa kahan hai. Santa bola woh to mar gayi. baap bola tune mujhe bataya kyu nahi? Santa-maine socha surprise dunga.
Jadoo Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Copper pulls over a motorist and says "been drinking have we sir?". The guy replys "No. Why, was i driving erratically?". Copper says "No. Its the fecking fat, ugly paki bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious!" :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Awesome P.
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 I got a new stick deodarant 2day.the instructions said,remove cap n push up bottom.i can barely walk,but wenever i fart the room smells lovely. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 WEST HAM. Recoup Wayne Bridge's 90 grand a week wages by sending clips of his defending to 'You've Been Framed'.
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Little Sam walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.Mommy, Mommy, what are those? He says pointing to her breasts.Well, son, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. Mommy, Mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!What do you mean? Says his mother.Well, she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of her balloons out. Daddy is trying to blow them up for her and she keeps yelling, God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming..
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 THE PERFECT HUSBAND" Man in changing room. Mobile fone rings & man talks with loudspeaker on. MAN:hello WOMAN:honey its me.lm at the mall & found a beautiful leather coat.lts only £1000.ls it OK if l buy it? MAN:Yes go ahead WOMAN:l also saw a new mercedes 2009 model for £400,000. MAN:Buy it love WOMAN: 1 more thing... the house i wantd last yr is bak on market they r askin £2,950,000 for it MAN:Buy it honey. WOMAN: Ok will c u l8r Love u so much! MAN: I love u 2 The man hangs up, the other men in changing room stare at him in astonishment. Man asks: Does any1 knw who this fone belongs too??
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 My girlfriend left me for a midget the other day.This broke my heart - I couldn't believe she would stoop so low.
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 My wife said, "Have you ever done something you're not proud of?" I said, "You?" She said, "No, I asked you first." I said, "No, I meant you
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Apparently arsene wenger has applied for the aston villa job, after hearing their forwards were young and bent :winky:
punjabiplaya Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Klu klux klan kidnap a paki take him to a warehouse where they give him a dice.leader says "roll the dice. if you get 1 2 3 4 or a 5 were going to blow your fecking head off" the paki says "what if i throw a 6".the leader says"you get another go" :haha:
Jadoo Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 After having dug to a depth of 10 feet in Texas last year, American scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Yankees, in the weeks that followed, a British archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the British Media that: ‘..........British archaeologists, find traces of 250-year-old copper wire, and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Americans....’. One week later, the Times of India in Delhi reported the following: ‘......After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Chandighar, India, Lucky Singh, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Lucky has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, India had already gone wireless......’ Doesn’t that make you bloody proud to be an Indian!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 I'm in trouble with the wife, we were in bed naked and she says to me, "What would you like to do most with my body. Apparently "Identify it" wasn't the answer she was expecting.... :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Paddy wins £9m on the lottery. Camelot say due to the credit crunch "we're runnin low on funds can we give u £3m this wk, £3m nxt wk & £3m next month" Paddy says "look, If ur gonna feck me about just give me my pound back"
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person cant. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and i betcha cant resist passing it on !
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 I am sick of getting text messages, telephone calls and emails about my dog after it savaged a Paki to death. For fecks sake, its NOT for sale !!!
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 A man's been caught masturbating in a newsagents. Apparently its all over the papers!
punjabiplaya Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Spent £40 on Ebay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass :haha:
punjabiplaya Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 NHS announce new drug for depressed lesbians... Trycoxagain! :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted January 23, 2011 Author Posted January 23, 2011 Me daughters just walked into the living room and said 'cancel my allowance, trash my bedroom, throw all my clothes out the window, take my front door and car keys away and kick me out of the house'. Well she did'nt actualy put it like that-she said 'dad, say hello to shoaib'
punjabiplaya Posted January 23, 2011 Author Posted January 23, 2011 name edited dont want any riots!!
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