punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 God created the orgasm so women can moan even when they are happy. :hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 A nurse walks into a bank exhausted after a 20hr shift. She pulls a rectal thermometer out her pocket & tries to write a cheque with it. She looks at the cashier & says "Well! That's great, thats really great! Some arseh*le's got my pen!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 Nothing says 'welcome to a council estate' quite like seeing a home made poster.....Happy 21st Nana.
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 I was looking out the window yesterday when I saw a paki knocked down by a speeding lorry. I thought that could have been me............. I can drive a lorry.
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 A fitness coach approaches a night club.The doorman says, "Sorry mate, no trainers".
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 Paddy said to murphy "how do you spell orange" after thinking for a while.murphy replies "do you mean the colour or the fruit?"
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 A man's wife hits him across the head. He says "Wot's that for?" She says "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Sexy Sarah written on it". Quick as a flash he says "that s the name of a horse l bet on today, u silly cow" - she apologises. A week later she hits him over the head with a frying pan! He says, "What the feck was that for?" . She replies, "Your fecking horse phoned!"
punjabiplaya Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 I swallowed tippex instead of viagra, woke up with a massive correction :hysterical:
b555 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 on gambhir and yuvvis miscommunications : Miscommunication troubles? Try the always effective 'bhaag bhosadike' and 'ruk bhencho.d'.
Sachin=GOD Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 God created the orgasm so women can moan even when they are happy. :hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
b555 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/full/263750867.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJF3XCCKACR3QDMOA&Expires=1301044398&Signature=xnjAXREMvbERtD47H4gFr%2BbL5FU%3D
Sachin=GOD Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 How did I get out of Iraq? Iran. ------------------------------------------------------------------ My mates are really angry at me because I went out with this girl called Simile... I don't get what their problem is though. I only metaphor a coffee.
Dark Warrior Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 There are 3 things in life that are certain -Death, Taxes,and that if you load up Windows Media Player and the volume control is set right down to 2 or 5 out of 100, it means that the last person on there was watching porn.
Dark Warrior Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I was ice-skating today just minding my own business when I noticed some big fat bird kept giving me the eye.Eventually she came over. "Hi there I'm a bit shy I'm not very good at breaking the ice." She laughed."Have you tried jumping?" I asked. :haha:
Dark Warrior Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
Dark Warrior Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Been giving my wife some casual kitchen/ironing banter for a good few weeks. Yesterday she decides she's had enough and says. "If you make one more sexist remark, I'm going to slap you."To which my 10 year old son replies. "Behave Mum, you wont be able to reach him from the kitchen." The wife was looking in the mirror with a depressed look on her face earlier."I am fat, ugly and my skin is disgusting," she said before turning to me and adding: "I really need a compliment..."I looked her in the eyes, smiled, and said, "but darling, your eyesight is amazing." :haha::haha:
Dark Warrior Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 My wife's complaining that I’m always wasting the batteries with my xbox controller, So I bought a wired one, And ****ing strangled her with it!
punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread. The fecking birds were all over me.
punjabiplaya Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Woman answers a knock at the door and a stranger says to her "Do you have a vagina?" She slams the door in disgust. Next day the same thing happens so she tells her husband. He says "I'm taking tomorrow off work to see what this is all about." Next day there's a knock at the door, the husband says "I'll hide behind the door and if he asks you the same question say yes, I want to see where this is going." Same thing happens, "Do you have a vagina?" Woman says "Yes." "Good, well tell your husband to fecking use it and leave my wife's alone."
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