f.b.m Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 http://twitpic.com/5223l9 I met a girl in a nightclub and told her "I'm going to feck you in my bedroom, my bathroom, my kitchen and my lounge when we get back to mine" She replied, "wow, let's go, its good to find a man with such stamina these days." For some reason she didn't seem too impressed when we finally got to the caravan. :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :laugh: Havent been to this thread in a while.
f.b.m Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 MSN News: 'Black Ash Moves Away From The UK' Looks like Chelsea will have to look for another left back. -- People are making Rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow.
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I wish to place it on record that, unlike Ryan Giggs, if you catch me shagging a glamour model with massive tits you can tell anybody you fecking like.!!!
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that even though he's happy in Manchester he does Miss Wales occasionally
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 A Film is being made about a footballer who takes out a super injunction to stop a welsh girl revealing their six month affair. it's going to be called 'Saving Ryan's Privates'
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 What Do You Call A Gay Indian.. Jusvant Chithar
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Black boy sitting at the table picking his nose .His mum says"Winston stop that its dirty" Winston replies "But all the white kids at school do it " His mum says "Not with a fecking soup spoon they dont!"
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Congratulations to Alex Curran who is expecting her third child.... and congratulations to Steven Gerrard who is expecting his second.
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Now I know what the fuss has been all about. IMOGEN THOMAS is an anagram of A SMOOTH MINGE.
punjabiplaya Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I just saw a teenager belting a defenceless paki in a wheelchair with a golf club.I ran up, grabbed the club off him and yelled, "Despite what you believe, what you're doing is completely wrong - if you widen your stance, bend your knees, straighten your back you'll hit the fecker a lot harder." :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:
punjabiplaya Posted May 26, 2011 Author Posted May 26, 2011 Before the revelation that Ryan giggs was the footballer behind the super- injunction the club sponser had planned to change Ryan giggs shirt logo from Aon to Anon!
Dark Warrior Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs... and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of wh*res."
Dark Warrior Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 This girl just posted a status on Facebook which said: "F U C K I N G phone!!!!!!!!!" Apparently, "Can I watch?" is not an appropriate reply.
punjabiplaya Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 I recently suggested to my girlfriend that she try masturbating with fruit. She went fecking bananas.
punjabiplaya Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 A blonde woman is driving home from work along the M62.Her husband calls her and says..."Be careful love,it's just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the M62!""Someone?" she replies,"there's feckin hundreds of em!"
punjabiplaya Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Peter Beardsley is the latest footballer linked to a super injunction, apparently the bird he shagged doesn't want to be named..!
Sachinism Posted May 29, 2011 Posted May 29, 2011 A girl I slept with a few weeks ago texted me saying 'I'm so sorry but I'm HIV positive, I hope you're not, I'm so sorry' , to which I replied 'Ahh, no it's fine, I've been HIV positive for years'.
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 A man was taken to hospital today after shoving 6 toy horses up his ars*hole.Doctors described his condition as stable.
punjabiplaya Posted May 29, 2011 Author Posted May 29, 2011 Alex Ferguson was going to pull Giggs off at half time, but the last person who did that ended up with a super injunction against them.
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