Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 ^ Man, I am truly amazed at how most men view women as on object of attraction. I am also equally amazed at how women find it more than necessary to portray themselves like that. Its amusing to see the ladies go after the perfect bodies, the silken curves. Dont they realize that they should be liked/admired/feted for what they are an individual and not how they look ? Sad.... I am yet to a see a single lady who doesnt like to be complimented on her looks. I have a friend who is nearing what they call the marriage age ( 23,24 etc). Now, she has got strict orders from her parents to lose some flab and get in shape. So, poor girl, goes to the gym everyday and trains hard. She did lose a lot of weight and proudly tells me that she is finally in shape now. I wish i had the courage to tell her she should feel the need to be fit and work out, not because she can look good so that brigdegroom will like her, but because its good to lead such a healthy active life-style. Her looks and shape should be based on a healthy life-style and not the temporary need to look good. I am sure, once she is married, she will stop working out and put on a lot of weight again. But i dont tell these things to her, coz I dont know how she will take it.
theguyinallblue Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 ^ Man, I am truly amazed at how most men view women as on object of attraction. I am also equally amazed at how women find it more than necessary to portray themselves like that. actually sriram... it varies with Age... For example... Once a young lady was sleeping in a jungle..and a saint and one young busines were crossing ... in her sleep lady had exposed some part of her body...when the young man saw her....he wanted to "love" her...but when saint saw her...he wanted to cover her... so i personally believe the perception changes with age, education, wealth, and Health.. but you are right that most male find female as an object of attraction...blame it on hormones..:D
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 actually sriram... it varies with Age... For example... Once a young lady was sleeping in a jungle..and a saint and one young busines were crossing ... in her sleep lady had exposed some part of her body...when the young man saw her....he wanted to "love" her...but when saint saw her...he wanted to cover her... so i personally believe the perception changes with age, education, wealth, and Health.. but you are right that most male find female as an object of attraction...blame it on hormones..:D I suppose you are right, its just the most basic human instinct, to get attracted to the opposite sex. Cant help it.
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Man, I am truly amazed at how most men view women as on object of attraction. I am also equally amazed at how women find it more than necessary to portray themselves like that. Au contraire my friend. I love the fact that woman take keen interest in themselves. I love the fact that , generally speaking, a female's showerroom would have a proper hair conditioner, shampoo, body gel for a shower..and for afterwards some nice body perfume and body lotion. And then when she walks out and steps to her closet I love the fact that she has nice undergarments, matching sets I like :nervous:, and pour some more of that delightful cologne. Of course this gets accentuated by the clothes they wear and most women, even if they wont admit it, like to be lusted by men(not in a bad way of course). My point being that girls, in general, take care of how they look and hence it is no surprise that an average girl is prettier than an average bloke. You only have to visit a chap's showerroom and see a Lifebuoy, an old towel that serves as floor mat too and closet filled with tighty whities. Heck one of my greatest pet peeves is to walk to a Departmental store and hardly get any half-decent undergarments. On the other hand just check the women section. That said I do agree in principal to the line that a girl(or guy) should join a gym to better herself and not to showcase her physique for others(not that I am complaining :D). xxx PS: I hope, and wish, that Sriram's wifey turns towards him everyday before she walks out the door to her office and asks him - Jaan/honey does my butt look big in these jeans? :pray:
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Lurks, I suspect there is problem with being obsessed with how a women looks.. Lets say you get married to this gorgeous lady and just love every bit of her ( pun intended)... 20 years down the line, assuming you are still married to her, would your love attraction for her be any less ? Of course, all her curves would have gone, will that make any difference to how you see her ?
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Lurks, I suspect there is problem with being obsessed with how a women looks.. Lets say you get married to this gorgeous lady and just love every bit of her ( pun intended)... 20 years down the line, assuming you are still married to here, would your love attraction for her be any less ? Of course, all her curves would have gone, will that make any difference to how you see her ? I would not love her any less once age takes over. But part of that would also be due to the fact that I was around her when she was at her best. Lets get one thing very clear Sriram. Men,and women, love physical intimacy. All things being equal if there are two guys who have similar jobs, similar behavioral/manners, similar sense of humour etc etc but one has better physique than the other, who do you think the girl will pick? Same with guys. We are a visual specie and females know it. By nature a female will pick the guy that is best for her, and a lot of that is driven by health. So yes I would like my girl to be in great shape when I am with her and I would like to see her age right infront of my eyes. But no I wont be too keen on a girl who is not in the best shape in the pink of her life. xxxx
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I believe your post hasnt exactly addressed my question Lurks. I can relate with what you say when you talk about a girl picking a guy with better physical attributes, when all other factors are the same, but the question still begs - What do you love your partner for ? Is it for her looks ? Is it for her character ? Or maybe, is it something else which is probably best left not listed on a message board ?
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I believe your post hasnt exactly addressed my question Lurks. I can relate with what you say when you talk about a girl picking a guy with better physical attributes' date=' when all other factors are the same, but the question still begs - [b']What do you love your partner for ? Is it for her looks ? Is it for her character ? Or maybe, is it something else which is probably best left not listed on a message board ? It is all of the above Sriram. Let me tell you a personal anecdote. I might have referred to it at some length in one of my earlier posts. About 7-8 years back I helped a close friend of mine through her Pschycology course. Part of this course had a survey tracing the behavioral sexual pattern of people. We interviewed about 100 or so people, tried to keep it 50-50 sex ratio and tried to keep about 10 people from most races(Indian, Asian, Caucasian, African so on) One of the question asked was - What do you look for in a guy/girl when you want to marry? Almost always the first answer was - He should make me laugh. The second answer mostly was - He should make me feel good. Other attributes were - honesty, confidence, family background, religion etc etc. To many of these people I would subsequently ask - Okay so you get all this in a guy/girl but he/she is a complete dud in the sack. Would you still marry him/her? The answer, across all races, was a resounding NO. Not many people will admit it but in the end what will define your relationship is sex, or lack of it. Men know it and admit it, women dont admit it unless pushed but they know it better than men! :hatsoff: xxx
theguyinallblue Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Ok...this is a serious question... A guy is quite good looking...settled..and Sincere.. A girl is not good looking at all ( face only ) ..rest all things are fine..but loves the guy like anything... Guy thinks that girl would be an excellent life partner...but his only apprehension is the beauty part... also he believes that he can get better looking girl..but there is no surety that a beautiful girl would be as caring,loving , sincere and all that.. but then..there is also a question of future generations... ???????????????
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 It is all of the above Sriram. Let me tell you a personal anecdote. I might have referred to it at some length in one of my earlier posts. About 7-8 years back I helped a close friend of mine through her Pschycology course. Part of this course had a survey tracing the behavioral sexual pattern of people. We interviewed about 100 or so people, tried to keep it 50-50 sex ratio and tried to keep about 10 people from most races(Indian, Asian, Caucasian, African so on) One of the question asked was - What do you look for in a guy/girl when you want to marry? Almost always the first answer was - He should make me laugh. The second answer mostly was - He should make me feel good. Other attributes were - honesty, confidence, family background, religion etc etc. To many of these people I would subsequently ask - Okay so you get all this in a guy/girl but he/she is a complete dud in the sack. Would you still marry him/her? The answer, across all races, was a resounding NO. Not many people will admit it but in the end what will define your relationship is sex, or lack of it. Men know it and admit it, women dont admit it unless pushed but they know it better than men! :hatsoff: xxx Ok, so here is an open question for you. Say you know two girls, both of equal education, confidence, religious affiliations etc. One is an ok looker, nothing great about her, but her integrity is impeccable.Other is blithering haat, but has a history of flirting with other men. Whom would you chose to be your partner ? P.S - You may choose to not answer this question, if you find it too intrusive.
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 A guy is quite good looking...settled..and Sincere..A girl is not good looking at all ( face only ) ..rest all things are fine..but loves the guy like anything... Guy thinks that girl would be an excellent life partner...but his only apprehension is the beauty part...also he believes that he can get better looking girl..but there is no surety that a beautiful girl would be as caring,loving , sincere and all that.. but then..there is also a question of future generations... Here is my take. The girl seems to love the guy. The question is does the guy loves the girl? From what you have suggested it seems the guy likes the girl, appreciates her physical attributes, knows she is a person of character and integrity(why else would he want to spend an entire life with her) but still doesnt seem to be in love with her. This lack of love will kill the relationship sooner or later. My take is to go for the girl. Trust me on this - You will meet lot of beautiful girls in life but few of them will stand by you when chips go down. Hold on to the girl who will stand by you when storm comes into your life. And since "rest all things are fine" you will actually thank me later on! I mean generally speaking the prettier the girl is the less "fine" the rest of things are! xxx
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Ok, so here is an open question for you. Say you know two girls, both of equal education, confidence, religious affiliations etc. One is an ok looker, nothing great about her, but her integrity is impeccable.Other is blithering haat, but has a history of flirting with other men. Whom would you chose to be your partner ? P.S - You may choose to not answer this question, if you find it too intrusive. Too intrusive? :hysterical::hysterical: Thats the f*****ng story of my life!! I was caught up once in a tri-fecta. A traditional desi girl, a Christian Welsh and a British Pakistani lass. Dont ask me why but they all had feelings for me and vice versa. Again dont ask me how/why but yes it is true to be in love with more than 1 person at the same time. What it narrowed down to was that the desi Indian girl was a strong character, self-made girl who would stand by me when noone else did. The Welsh girl would love me with all her heart but also realized it wont work out till we live in for a year or two, which I wasnt too interested in. The Pakistani lass at one time was willing to just fly across the pond and settle down with me for good. There were a bunch of things she was more than happy to do including few that went against the Holy Quran teachings. I will PM you if interested. With time however the passion died and she realized she wont be able to fight with all her Pakistani family and met a nice little guy. Answer to your question, stick to the girl that will stick with you. You will get beauty by dozens, but character comes only once every 10 years. I stuck with the Indian girl :regular_smile: xxx
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 ^ Wow ! That is indeed quite revealing. If i were you, I would have made the same choice too.
Guest dada_rocks Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Tabhi kahun sasura itaa soft corner pakistaniyon ke liye kaise aa gaya.. wo whipsering pillow talk cud do wonders :hysterical:
theguyinallblue Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 i have heard that girls do change after marriage...i mean even "out going" and "free" girls gets "domesticated" after their marriage.. no one is stupid enough to fool around with their husbands...i am talking about middle class girls... its not that beautiful and out going girls remain the same even after marriage..they do get accustomed to the new environment..and change themselves accordingly..
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Tabhi kahun sasura itaa soft corner pakistaniyon ke liye kaise aa gaya.. wo whipsering pillow talk cud do wonders Wah beta! :angry_smile: $aala issiliye log Internet pe open nahin hota hai. Bhai mere my thoughts on Pakistan are based on sound reasonings, kabhi debate karte ho to pata nahin chalta kya? Waise I asked you in a seperate thread. Why are you pissed/gutted today? Kya hua?
Ram Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 i have heard that girls do change after marriage...i mean even "out going" and "free" girls gets "domesticated" after their marriage.. no one is stupid enough to fool around with their husbands...i am talking about middle class girls... its not that beautiful and out going girls remain the same even after marriage..they do get accustomed to the new environment..and change themselves accordingly.. Sandeep, that is seriously not a wise word to use against women. And what do you mean when you say " get accustomed and change themselves accordingly " ? Its about time you started seeing women on equal terms and give them their due respect man, seriously.
Lurker Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 its not that beautiful and out going girls remain the same even after marriage..they do get accustomed to the new environment..and change themselves accordingly.. Woh jamaana gaya. Sorry I seem like a Relationship counsellor but yes those days are gone Sandeep. Aaj ki naari works and meets men of all ages. And yes she will flirt. Lets get this straight - Any women that has a sense of humour will flirt. The thing of course is that she should realize her boundary and stay within it(goes for men as well). Even if she is not working she has access to Internet, Emails, Cellphone etc etc. Trust me if she wants to indulge in hanky-panky she will. She has more options today and lets accept it females have lot more choices today be it personal or sexual. Which is why I said stick with someone who will stick with you. xxx
Guest dada_rocks Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Tension mat le yaar chhori prabhaw daalti hai achcha dalti hai ham bhi fosla ke member rah chuke hain choori ko pata nahin phir bhi prabhaw aa gaya raha .. ab main batana nahin chahta hun wo sab kahaniyan ..:haha: Match dekha poori raat, lunch skip kiya aaj.. sala bhukha depressed aadmi gutted nahin hoga to aur kya hoga..... :D
Guest dada_rocks Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Sandeep, that is seriously not a wise word to use against women. And what do you mean when you say " get accustomed and change themselves accordingly " ? Its about time you started seeing women on equal terms and give them their due respect man, seriously. Are you going oout with some feminaazi or what,, come on itana bhi stickler nahin bano:D
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