BREAKING NEWS: CRICKET AUSTRALIA BANS THE N-WORD, announces reparations for 'colored' players

[Manny_Pacquiao]

In a historic move, the all-powerful governing authority of Australian cricket, Cricket Australia, also known as Cricket Australia Corporation Ptc. Plc. LLc, has decided to ban the use of the controversial 'n-word' from its offices, facilities and stadiums.

 

 

Cricket Australia announced the now-historic change with the following statement:

 

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"Cricket Australia and it's members have proudly accepted the responsibility to not only define the terms of racism, but to fight against racism at all times. We are pleased to announce that we will no longer use the 'n-word' at any of our facilities, and any violation will be subject to immediate termination of contract. As a predominantly global organization with global money-making ambitions, we have finally decided to create a more justice-driven, inclusive, tolerant and tokenistic environment which will mark the end of racism in our amazing, free and civilized western country. Cricket can be a force for corporate-led social change, and we encourage other sporting bodies across the world to match our public display of moral righteousness. Racism is bad, mate. We are nothing like those Americans."

 

The announcement would be followed by Cricket Australia announcing reparations for "all Australian cricketers of color" as "a gesture of it's commitment to the war against racism":

 

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Cricket Australia will provide monetary reparations - in the form of an undisclosed, one-off cash payment - to all Australian cricketers who qualify as 'colored' under the 'white Australia' policy. We ashamedly acknowledge that the likes of Andrew Symonds, Usman Khawaja and numerous others have endured racial abuse (such as the 'n-word), and were prevented from advancing on account of their skin color. As part of our commitment to fighting racism, we shall also allow Usman Khawaja to realize his dream of captaining the Australian cricket team in a test match at a time of his choosing.

 

We would also like to clarify that Jason Gillespie will NOT be eligible for reparations, as his abo heritage credentials were found to be fraudulent. He is in fact, white as *."

 

 

Wow!!!

 

 

[New guy]

This is a spoof article, the last line gives it away