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Desi Cartman

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EnterTheVoid Community Regular

EnterTheVoid

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4233_1152853023688_1298536400_30406093_613130_n.jpg ********************** Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." ********************** Understanding Engineers - Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Five The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" ********************** :winky:
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ViruRulez Newbie

ViruRulez

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4233_1152853023688_1298536400_30406093_613130_n.jpg ********************** Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." ********************** Understanding Engineers - Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Five The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" ********************** :winky:
:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Good ones buddy :two_thumbs_up:
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CricketGirl Newbie

CricketGirl

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4233_1152853023688_1298536400_30406093_613130_n.jpg ********************** Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." ********************** Understanding Engineers - Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. ********************** Understanding Engineers - Five The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ********************** Understanding Engineers - Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" ********************** :winky:
Thank god i married an accountant!
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punjabi_khota Enthusiast

punjabi_khota

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Thank god i married an accountant!
* Engineers do it ... with precision. * Engineers do it ... on the test bench. * Engineers do it ... without looking at the manual. * Engineers do it ... to specs. * Engineers do it ... with electricity. * Engineers do it ... with the latest technology. * Engineers do it ... by pulling all-nighters. * Engineers do it ... even under intense pressure. * Engineers do it ... with more frequency and less resistance. * Engineers do it ... until it hertz. * Engineers do it ... with maximum power. * Engineers do it ... with maximum efficiency. B->B->
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EnterTheVoid Community Regular

EnterTheVoid

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* Engineers do it ... with precision. * Engineers do it ... on the test bench. * Engineers do it ... without looking at the manual. * Engineers do it ... to specs. * Engineers do it ... with electricity. * Engineers do it ... with the latest technology. * Engineers do it ... by pulling all-nighters. * Engineers do it ... even under intense pressure. * Engineers do it ... with more frequency and less resistance. * Engineers do it ... until it hertz. * Engineers do it ... with maximum power. * Engineers do it ... with maximum efficiency. B->B->
:winky: clever !
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EnterTheVoid Community Regular

EnterTheVoid

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Chinese boy, 4, addicted to cigarettes Meet Dong Dong (:hysterical:) — the four-year-old Chinese boy who drinks alcohol and is addicted to cigarettes. Images of the little boy taking a puff were featured in the Jianghuai Morning Post, which reported that he had been smoking since he was two. Dong Dong lives with his grandparents, who run a grocery shop in the Banqiao village in China's Anhui province. His grandmother told the newspaper he constantly steals cigarettes from the shop. "When he needs cigarettes, he just takes them from the house or steals a pack from the store," she said. "We just can't seem to stop him." She said he also drinks alcohol. Doctor Zhang Gong, from Anhui Provincial Children's Hospital, said he was shocked to see the young boy smoking. "From the way the boy smokes and his posture, he looks to have had a long history of smoking even though he is so young," Dr Zhang told the newspaper. Dong Dong is one of 350 million smokers in China, which has the largest smoking population of any country in the world. Nearly 60 percent of Chinese males older than 15 smoke regularly, according to TobaccoChina.net. resizer.jpg :winky:

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