Jadoo Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 A British man kidnapped in Pakistan was found today. He had suffered some some of the worst beatings they had ever seen. When asked why he was beaten so bad? He replied "They kept aking my name so I told them. Then they just started to beat me silly. The more I said my name the harder they beat me. I dont understand. I told them the truth. I said my name is Terry Mardy!!" ========================================================== An Irish man named Paddy wins the lottery which had a jackpot of £10 million, he phones up the lottery and confirms that he has the winning ticket. The lottery company congratulate Paddy on his massive win, but tell him that due to the recession their having a cashflow problem. They propose him that they would pay £3 million this week, £3 milion the next week, and £4 million the week after. Paddy wasn't happy, he replied, "Listen you, if your going to mess me around then I want my money back!!" ========================================================== Couple on honeymoon and in their hotel room, they are about to make love for the first time. Groom starts undressing, he removes his socks first, his bride asks "whats worng with your feet, your toes look all mangled?". Groom replies "I had tolio as a child", "you mean polio" said his wife, "No Tolio, a strange disease that only affect the toes". He then removes his trousers, and the bride asks "whats wrong with your knees, they look lumpy and a bit wierd?", Husband replies "As a child I had kneasles", "you mean measles" said the wife, "No Kneasles, its a strange disease that only affected my knees". Groom then removes his boxers, "dont tell me" said the wife, "you also suffered from smallcox!!". ========================================================== Woman brings 11yr old Johnny home & tells his mum that he was caught playing doctors & nurses with Mary, her 11yr old daughter. "Lets not be too harsh on on them....they're bound to be curious about sex at their age", says Johhny's mum. "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mum, "He's taken her appendix out!!!" ========================================================== The mother superior was talking to the rest of the nuns. We have a case of chlamydia in the convent. An old nun at the back of the room replies "I hope its bloody better then that Chardonnay we had last week!" ==========================================================
Jadoo Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Ssssh! Dont tell anyone....I'm going to go down on you!! And your going to love it... But it's going going to to be for long enough to let you start enjoying it..... Then i'm going to come back up ahain and feck you big time..... Yours sincerely, Oil Prices
Jadoo Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 A suspicious man hires a chinese investigator Chen Lee to watch his wife. A few days later he gets this report: Sir, I watch house U leave house He came to house He and she leave house I follow He and she go hotel I climb tree and look in window He kiss she She kiss he He strip She strip He play with she She play with he I play with me I fall out tree I not see No fee Chen Lee Weely Sollee
Jadoo Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 SCAM WARNING!!!!! In Wal-Mart, while packing shopping in a car, you may be approached by 2 beautiful European girls, in tight tiny tops, and low low skirts. The wash your screen with their bits hanging out and ask for a lift to their home as payment. On the way they strip and go down on each other. Then one of them climbs onto you to snog you, while the other nicks your wallet. I had mine stolen last Tuesday and Wednesday, twice on Thursday and again today. BE CAREFUL.
Jadoo Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 can u not crack some small jokes Shubham I have read your efforts, hence you should be the last person to comment:winky:
Jadoo Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 A charity panto in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosecuals descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!".
Riley's Girl Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 :hatsoff: Jadoo. Geniunly hilarious jokes.
shubham45 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 jadoo keep u r bakwas jokes away from this forum
Jadoo Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks Mariilize and Yoda for the appreciation. Shubham if you don't like them don't read them. And like I said earlier to you, your hardly fecking Raju Srivastav, in fact i would not class some of your stuff as jokes, their bloody depressing, I would rather stick needles in my eyes then read them.
EnterTheVoid Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 jadoo keep u r bakwas jokes away from this forum :hysterical: Shubham getting feisty; Shubham, dude, your jokes suck balls
shubham45 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks Mariilize and Yoda for the appreciation. Shubham if you don't like them don't read them. And like I said earlier to you, your hardly fecking Raju Srivastav, in fact i would not class some of your stuff as jokes, their bloody depressing, I would rather stick needles in my eyes then read them. hey shutup jadoo...........dont u act 2 smart ....atleast my jokes make some sense
shubham45 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 :hysterical: Shubham getting feisty; Shubham, dude, your jokes suck balls sree_india........i respect u as a cricket fans.:hatsoff::hatsoff:..sorry for comments my ungrateful comments:sniffle:
Temujin Khaghan Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 jadoo keep u r bakwas jokes away from this forum easy now... u are not yet the moderator for this section. :winky:
shubham45 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 at least i know the difference between a good joke and bad one
Jadoo Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 at least i know the difference between a good joke and bad one :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: I take it back, thats probaby the funniest thing you have ever said, well done!!
EnterTheVoid Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 sree_india........i respect u as a cricket fans.:hatsoff::hatsoff:..sorry for comments my ungrateful comments:sniffle: No hard feelings yaar; Thanks for keeping the jokes section active
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