Cricket jokes

[Don Sharma]

Poor Little Billy Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their Father's did for a living. All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry, etc. etc. but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his Father. 'My Father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of the other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him'. The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask if that was really true. 'No' said Billy 'he plays CRICKET for ENGLAND, but I was just too embarrassed to say'. Cricket Heaven? Michael Vaughan and Andrew [Freddie] Flintoff, now elderly, 85 and 82 years old, are sitting on a park bench outside Lord's cricket ground feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, past Ashes series, and tours like they do every day. Michael turns to Freddie and asks, 'Do you think there's cricket in heaven?' Flintoff thinks about it for a minute and replies, 'I dunno. But let's make an agreement: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.' They shake hands on it. Sadly, a few months later, poor Freddie passes on. One day soon afterward, Vaughany is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, 'Michael................Michael' Vaughan responds, 'Freddie, is that you?' Yes it is, Michael, 'whispers Freddie's ghost. Vaughany, still amazed, enquires, 'So, is there cricket in heaven? 'Well, 'says Freddie, 'I've got good news and bad news.' 'Gimme the good news first, 'says Vaughany. Freddie opines, 'Well... there is cricket in heaven.' Vaughan says, 'That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?' Freddie sighs and whispers, 'You are going to open the innings this Friday.' Captain & WK The wicket-keeper had a high opinion of himself and was very free with his advice to the captain. 'You know,' he said, 'You've picked two men who should never be in the side.' 'Oh really,' said the captain icily, 'and who's the other one?' Aged cricketers Two old cricketers were talking in the club. 'What was your highest score?' 'A hundred and ten not out.' 'Mine was a hundred and twenty not out'. 'And what was the most number of wickets you took?'. 'Oh, no. This time you go first.' English Cricketer A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped. The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he had on a helmet and gloves. "That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman. "Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman". "I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant. "No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long." Cricket Fan in the Office A cricket enthusiast had three trays installed in his office labelled 'In' , 'Out' , and 'L.B.W.' . A visitor remarked as he could see the significance of 'In' and 'Out' but what did 'L.B.W.' mean ? And the cricket enthusiast replied : "Let the B@stards Wait."

[Jadoo]

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Nice ones Don

[dial_100]

last one was good..

[Sachinism]

Good jokes

[Dark Warrior]

some good ones

[gaurav92]

Great ones

[DomainK]

Nice joke.