punjabiplaya Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me. It doesn't - it revolves around the sun, which shines out of my **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 :haha: keep em coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me. It doesn't - it revolves around the sun' date=' which shines out of my ****[/quote'] A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her here. The husband said ship her home. The undertaker said "but Sir why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money." The husband said "a long long time ago a man called Jesus was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead....... I can't take the fecking chance!! :hysterical: :giggle: oh well they're better than shubsy's jokes! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karan114 Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 To jeremy kyle,I am 15 & pregnant my parents dont know.They haven't met my boyf.Hes bi & HIV positive &he has Tourettes.Hes married & is 20 years older.He deals drugs & carries a gun.He lives in a squat& is just out of jail & he likes animal porn.My problem is,how do I tell my parents that he is a paki? :haha: Man, that's brutal :cantstop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadoo Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 To jeremy kyle,I am 15 & pregnant my parents dont know.They haven't met my boyf.Hes bi & HIV positive &he has Tourettes.Hes married & is 20 years older.He deals drugs & carries a gun.He lives in a squat& is just out of jail & he likes animal porn.My problem is,how do I tell my parents that he is a paki? :haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalini_singh Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Doesn't Know "I cant believe my terrible fate," cried Rajesh. When his friends asked what was the matter, he replied "My daughter has gone off and married that loser who doesn't know how to drink or gamble." "Then whats the problem?" they asked. "You should be glad that your son-in-law doesn't drink or gamble." "Who said he doesnt drink or gamble? He does both. I said he doesnt know how to do either one properly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalini_singh Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Every Saturday There's a fellow who is an avid golfer. Actually he's a golf fanatic. Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time, gets up very early and golf's all day long. Well this one Saturday morning, he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet, and goes out to his car to drive to the course. It is raining. It's a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 mph. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. From there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day long. So he puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalini_singh Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 True facts about girls Some true facts about girls, read it out.... If you praise her, She thinks you are lying If you don't, You are good for nothing If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp If you don't, you are not understanding If you visit her often, she thinks you are boring If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy If you don't, you are a dull boy If you are jealous, she says it's bad If you don't, she thinks you do not love her If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her If you don't, she thinks you do not like her If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait If she is late, she says that's a girl's way If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time" If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls" If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman If you don't, you are not a man If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring If you talk, she wants you to listen If you listen, she wants you to talk In short: So simple, yet so complex...... So weak, yet so powerful......... So confusing, yet so desirable. So damning, yet so wonderful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalini_singh Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Rectum!! Mr. Jones has an operation on his throat, so the only way he can get nourishment is to be force-fed with a machine, through the rectum. After three days of this, Mr. Jones calls for the nurse. He groans, "Nurse, is there another one of these machines in the hospital?" She says, "Yes, sir." He asks, "Could you roll it in here?" She says, "Of course, sir. But why?" He grunts, "I want you too have lunch with me tomorrow." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalini_singh Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Yo mama is so flat Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall! Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a book! Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CricketGirl Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 hehe good one but shalini ji must u add every joke as a new thread?? why not just list them on one thread alone!! :dontknow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 So Shubham you joined under a new name :hmmm: source code copy and paste lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sachinism Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 You really are Shubham, the jokes are terrible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 :(( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temujin Khaghan Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 You really are Shubham' date=' the jokes are terrible[/quote'] or it may be a girl. i heard all the good looking ones are dumb. :secret: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 To jeremy kyle,I am 15 & pregnant my parents dont know.They haven't met my boyf.Hes bi & HIV positive &he has Tourettes.Hes married & is 20 years older.He deals drugs & carries a gun.He lives in a squat& is just out of jail & he likes animal porn.My problem is,how do I tell my parents that he is a paki? :haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaurav92 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 or it may be a girl. i heard all the good looking ones are dumb. :secret: You mean Shubnam :giggle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desi Cartman Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 To jeremy kyle,I am 15 & pregnant my parents dont know.They haven't met my boyf.Hes bi & HIV positive &he has Tourettes.Hes married & is 20 years older.He deals drugs & carries a gun.He lives in a squat& is just out of jail & he likes animal porn.My problem is,how do I tell my parents that he is a paki? :haha: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev.goswami Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 To jeremy kyle,I am 15 & pregnant my parents dont know.They haven't met my boyf.Hes bi & HIV positive &he has Tourettes.Hes married & is 20 years older.He deals drugs & carries a gun.He lives in a squat& is just out of jail & he likes animal porn.My problem is,how do I tell my parents that he is a paki? :haha: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev.goswami Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 So Shubham you joined under a new name :hmmm: source code copy and paste lol You really are Shubham' date=' the jokes are terrible[/quote'] or it may be a girl. i heard all the good looking ones are dumb. :secret: :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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